Keanu Reeves is an action hero in every way. Though movie stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis have dozens of action movies under their belts, they aren’t often as committed to the roles as Reeves is. It’s that commitment that makes the films so compelling and thrilling.
The movies wouldn’t be half as exciting if it wasn’t for Reeves’ intense gun and martial arts training he has done for 47 Ronin, John Wick, The Matrix, and so many others. And that’s why it’d be fun to see all of his iconic characters go head-to-head in The Hunger Games. It’d be a close call, but the winner seems obvious.
Ted Logan
Obviously, Ted’s dim nature in the series is one constant throughout all three movies, as he along with Bill fall backward into time-traveling telephone boxes and even hell. He has no common sense and if it wasn’t for his mentors Rufus and the Grim Reaper, Ted would have gotten himself killed a long time ago.
There are no signs that point to Ted holding his own whatsoever in the Hunger Games, as he hands off major duties to other people. It was Station who built the robot version of him, it was the Grim Reaper who protected him, and in A Bogus Journey, he was even killed by his future self. Ted is completely inept, has no skills, and isn’t even a good musician.
Duke Caboom
Duke Caboom is one of the Toy Story toys that audiences loved but he had a very similar story arc in Toy Story 4 to Buzz Lightyear in the original movie. He learned that he wasn’t a great stunt man, just like how Buzz wasn’t a space cadet, but he overcame the impossible and landed a massive jump from a ramp.
The character can get up high, he can soar through the sky on his motorcycle, and he’s quick on his feet, as seen when he's pulling dance moves in the club. But Caboom is in no way a hunter, so all that would just amount to him being fairly hard to find and tricky to catch in the arena. But the fact that he plays dead whenever a live-action character is around could even help his chances of surviving a little longer.
Jonathan Harker
Jonathan Harker isn’t much of an action hero, as he didn’t defuse a bomb or murder three men with a pencil. Instead, he is just a romantic lead in Bram Stoker’s Dracula and lives out a fairly humdrum life as a solicitor. The only reason he traveled to Transylvania was to sort out Dracula’s real estate affairs.
However, at the end of the day, it was Harker who murdered Dracula, not Van Helsing, by slitting his throat when he awoke from his slumber. Though there wasn’t much skill to it, it required a lot of bravery, and if anything can carry Harker along in the Hunger Games for a short amount of time, it’s his courage.
Johnny Utah
In Point Break, Johnny Utah has a well-built physique, is agile, and is great at tracking down enemies. During the iconic chase sequence through the small and tight LA neighborhood with the ex-presidents, Utah was able to keep up with them. However, when it comes to killing, the character doesn’t have the guts.
Utah didn’t have what it takes to kill Bodhi when he came face to face with him after chasing him, but he could have given him a flesh wound or shot his leg to make him fall from the fence. But instead, Utah shot his gun in the air in frustration. At the end of the movie, Bodhi couldn’t even arrest him. So though he can do well in the Hunger Games, his morals would stop him from getting far.
John Constantine
John Constantine is an exorcist, and exorcising demons back to hell is literally his job, so killing mere mortals is barely a setback for the character. However, in his formative years, he could have taken anybody out in The Hunger Games, but Constantine sees the titular character at his most tired and weary.
The character would struggle with some of the most skilled killers and hunters that Reeves has played before, not to mention that he has grown sympathetic too. And it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that Constantine would simply give up and roll over in the arena.
Jack Traven
It’s hard for Jack Traven to show audiences the full extent of his abilities, as the bulk of Speed is set on a bus. However, the cat and mouse chase between Traven and Howard Payne shows that he could be a worthy tribute in the arena.
Not only did Jack survive the bus, but he also saved dozens of civilians from Payne’s bombs. He precedes his ranking too, as Jack is simply an LAPD officer, much like John McClane in Die Hard, but his logical thinking and risk-taking surpasses his job title. Along with that, his weapon training could make Jack a successful underdog in the Hunger Games.
Johnny Silverhand
Keanu Reeves has starred in video games for years, as he has featured in everything from Fortnite to a Bram Stoker’s Dracula tie-in game. However, his biggest role in a video game was as Johnny Silverhand in the recent Cyberpunk 2077, and Silverhand is one of the deadliest.
It’d be hard for any of the opponents to kill the character, as he’s already a digital ghost, and The Hunger Games would be a sandbox of fun, as he’s a war veteran and has a trick or two up his sleeve. On top of that, there are loads of digital effects used in the arena, just like in 2077, so Silverhand would have somewhat of an advantage.
Kai
In many ways, Kai is a lot like John Wick, as he is exiled only to seek revenge. 47 Ronin is essentially a samurai version of the assassin franchise, and it’s full of slicing a dicing of enemies. It shows just how much Kai is a force to be reckoned with, as not only does he have amazing skills with a machete, but he can take a lot of beatings before going down too.
However, Kai does have an advantage against his enemies in the movie, as he is backed by a whole army, but without that army, he is a little more vulnerable.
Neo
Most of the characters in the Hunger Games would be competing to finish second to Neo because as soon as they come face to face with The Matrix character, it’s game over.
None of Johnny Silverhand’s artillery is going to pierce Neo when he has bullet time. Duke Caboom won’t be able to hide for long when Neo can fly. And Kai’s machete won’t even graze Neo when the One can download all of Kai’s abilities in mere seconds. And as The Matrix’s fight choreography still holds up, even without the superpowers, Neo at his most elemental can still take out every other Keanu Reeves-led character.
John Wick
Though Neo can fly and even learn any new skill in just seconds, the character isn’t as driven or as passionate as John Wick. It’s almost as if Wick is battery-powered, as he just keeps going and going, killing buildings of people with pencils, books, and horses.
The way he uses his surroundings is how Wick would have a one-up over any of his opponents in the arena, as he has shown how he can use any utensil as a weapon and any terrain and area as a killing arena. And as Chapter 3 - Parabellum proved when he traveled to Casablanca, he isn’t afraid of pain, as he chopped off his own finger just to settle the issue with the High Table. Though Neo has superpowers, the One doesn’t have half of the preparation or mentality needed for the Hunger Games as John Wick does.