If we can thank the Amazon Prime miniseries Good Omens for anything, it's for giving the Internet Michael Sheen as its new boyfriend and providing the world with more scenes of David Tennant, period. The two steal every scene they're in together and truly make the show, prompting Neil Gaiman fans to wish for him to write more material just so they can get more airtime with one another.
While fans can thank both Gaiman and Terry Pratchett for some of the best lines of the show, many were added to add even more entertainment value. Luckily Prime subscribers can revisit these quotes as often as they like, but for everyone else, here are some of the best quotes from the book and show.
"Funny If We Both Got It Wrong, Eh?"
It's the quote that started it all. When Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden and Crowley (Crawly at this point in the book) puts the entire situation into perspective: what if they both do right by their beliefs but wrong by their orders--that is to say, by angel and demon standards?
Crowley asked Aziraphale, "Funny thing is, I keep wondering whether the apple thing wasn’t the right thing to do, as well. A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing. Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?" Aziraphale did NOT find it funny.
"Don't Let Me Tempt You"
There are so many flirty moments in both the Good Omens book and miniseries that it's no wonder the Internet has taken to referring to the world's most genteel angel and lackadaisical demon as "Ineffable Husbands." One prime example happens when Crowley tells Azirphale that he's never eaten an oyster in the series.
Aziraphale looks delighted at the prospect of introducing his friend to a new food and responds, "Oh well, let me tempt you to... Oh, no, that's, that's your job, isn't it." Not only is it a flirty quip, but it's about an aphrodisiac and it points out yet another way the lines between their jobs are so blurry.
"Just Canceling Each Other Out"
When Crowley and Aziraphale finally realize that no matter what they do, they will always be canceled out by one another, it's one of the most hilarious moments of the show. Crowley points out, "So we are both working very hard in damp places and just canceling each other out." This is a big turning point as they begin to make decisions that go against their orders, realizing that they don't even matter in the larger scheme of things. Why not trade their misery for pleasure, like human food and music?
It's made clear that the humans are far more capable of messing things up for themselves than the demons are and that they usually only need a nudge, if anything.
"We Are Here To Lick Some Serious Butt"
There have been a number of comparisons drawn between Supernatural and Good Omens, from the inclusion of a demon named Crowley to similar themes like the end of the world and ambiguous relationships between main characters. When Aziraphale, while inhabiting the body of Madame Tracy, says, "We are here to lick some serious butt!" it brings us back to the time the angel Castiel tried his hand at cursing while doing some butt-kicking, too.
The line is hilarious, and Crowley, as usual, is disgusted that the angel can't master the simple human phrase and responds, "Kick, Aziraphale, it's kick butt! For heaven's sake."
"I Like Pears"
While Aziraphale didn't say that he liked turtles, he might as well have as popular as he's become across the Internet. His love of good food, whether it's simple pears or grapes or something more complex like sushi, brioche or "decent" crepes, makes him even more endearing, and he has a number of food quotes scattered throughout the miniseries.
The most adorable quote is when he simply remarks, "I like pears," which isn't only a straightforward declaration of his love of something earthly, but a fun nod to David Tennant's speech as The Doctor about how much he hated the fruit.
"It's On The Street, It Knows The Risks"
Crowley's mad driving is a contention between the odd couple, even though, as they both acknowledge, an accident would only cause an inconvenience for both their forms rather than either of their demise. As Crowley careens down the street, Aziraphale warns him to watch out for the pedestrians that he could hit.
Crowley scoffs, "It's on the street, it knows the risks it's taking." This dismissive comment about humans is funny, but it also demonstrates that Crowley is still looking out for number one after all of this time. Even when it comes to the end of the world, it's more about him being able to enjoy the planet - and the company of his best friend - than saving humans.
"Perhaps We Should Wait"
When taxed with the horrible task of destroying the Antichrist, Adam, before the kid takes out the Earth and all of its books and foods that he loves so dearly, Aziraphale, again in the host body of Madame Tracy, hesitates and says, "Perhaps we should wait." This is in direct juxtaposition to his aiding with the flood that took out all of the children on Earth, which Crowley had a big issue with earlier in their history.
This time it's Crowley egging him on, saying, "What, til he grows up? Shoot him, Aziraphale!" Luckily Adam makes better choices than either of them expect.
"I Would Always Know The Stain Was There"
Fans of the book will always remember the moment Crowley and Aziraphale got shot and how their breaths stuck in their throats as they worried whether or not the two would be alright. In the miniseries, it was quickly evident that aside from bursts of paint, they are fine, save for Aziraphale lamenting over the stain on his 180-year-old jacket, which he's kept in tip-top condition.
When the demon asks his friend why he doesn't just miracle the stain away, Aziraphale sadly says, "Yes, but I would always know the stain was there." It's a hilarious testament to just how refined this angel has become while living among the humans.
"What Are They Putting In Bananas These Days?"
The scene in which Aziraphale and Crowley get drunk is hilarious in both the book and the film, and watching Crowley demand, "What are they putting in bananas these days?" is comedic gold. Aziraphale sounding out, "Kraken... great big bugger..." while making a face is also a delight.
Of course, it's not limited to just this. Crowley's "My point is... dolphins. That's my point," and his trying to sound out just what kind of stew the ocean will be once it's bubbling and boiling cracks fans up. The entire scene is just one to re-watch, which is why fans have uploaded it on YouTube for this purpose.
"I'll Never Talk To You Again"
When Satan approaches to convince Adam to complete Armageddon, Aziraphale makes a desperate plea to Crowley, hoping the demon will come up with one of his many schemes to save them both. "Come up with something or I'll never talk to you again!"
This quote is beloved by fans because it acknowledges so much, from the angel's reliance upon his friend to continually bail him out of trouble to their many relationship quirks. How many partners threaten to never talk to one another again if some silly condition isn't met? It's also just a really funny line that Sheen delivers perfectly.