Less than a year ago, Bachelor in Paradise couple Jade and Tanner Tolbert welcomed their third child, and Jade has gotten honest about how hard the early months with a newborn can be. Jade had a vastly different experience with all three of her children, but she feels that sharing her experiences can be helpful for other women dealing with similar struggles. It hasn’t been an easy road for Jade, however, she’s learned a lot with each birth, and it’s made her a better mom to all of her children.
After having their hearts mildly broken on their respective seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, Jade and Tanner met on Bachelor in Paradise and sparks quickly flew. The couple got engaged at the end of their season and were married soon after. Jade and Tanner had a daughter, Emerson, in 2017 and in 2019 Jade gave birth to her son Brooks in her walk-in closet. Then, in late 2020, the couple welcomed their second son, Reed. Jade has been candid about her struggles with postpartum depression and its impact on her ability to bond with her children.
In an interview with TODAY Parents, Jade said that she bonded instantly with her first child, but had a harder time connecting with her son Brooks, and that the disconnect “rocked” her. “I felt like he didn't want me, which was the hardest part," Jade said. "I felt like I would look at him and I felt so disconnected and he didn't know I was his mom or he didn't want me as his mom.” Jade commented that the emotional closet birth left her with a case of post-traumatic stress disorder. “I would have flashbacks,” she said. “I would have intrusive thoughts that weren't healthy. It was really intense for me."
Jade struggled after giving birth to Brooks and recounted, "I kept telling myself, 'I'm just going to get through it, just one more week and I'll be better.'” However, her mental health didn’t get better on its own. “I finally had a breakdown with Tanner at one point because I was going down a really dark path...So I told him," she said. The Bachelor Nation star eventually sought help through hypnotherapy but after a few months found out she was pregnant again with baby Reed.
After Reed was born, Jade commented that she felt like she had to be “supermom,” and had trouble setting aside time to take care of herself. “I would go three days sometimes without brushing my teeth, which is disgusting, but I felt like, I can't even do that for myself,” she said. Ultimately, Jade believes the mental health of new moms needs to be more of a priority. "People talk so much about pregnancy and taking care of your health when you're pregnant, and then you have a baby and nobody checks in on the mom," she commented.
It was courageous of Jade to seek help, and more women should feel empowered to do likewise when they feel they need it. Jade has been through some difficult times as a mom, but the Bachelor in Paradise star feels like she’s now in a healthier place. The couple recently listed their California home for three million dollars, and brighter days are surely in store for the growing family. Many fans of the franchise see Jade as a source of inspiration for the way she advocates for the mental health of mothers everywhere.
Source: TODAY Parents