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Avengers: Infinity War's Best Jokes & One-Liners

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Even though the plot for Avengers: Infinity War centers around heroes within the MCU teaming up to stop Thanos from destroying half the universe, that's not to say it's entirely short on jokes. Blood is spilled, lives are lost, and tears are shed—but that hasn't stopped screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely from injecting some well-placed humor into the movie's epic two-and-a-half hour runtime to lighten the mood.

Now, while Infinity War may not have the same kind of a laugh-a-minute patter which Thor: Ragnarok and the two Guardians of the Galaxy movies revolved around, it's hardly as traditionally somber as most war movies tend to be (which makes sense, considering it features a giant purple supervillain, wizards, a talking raccoon and a sulky teenage tree). Despite the massive stakes at hand, as well as how hopeless Earth's Mightiest Heroes end up by the time the credits roll, there's some solid levity keeping spirits afloat.

Related: Avengers: Infinity War Solves The MCU’s Biggest Problems

No, Thanos himself didn't crack any jokes—what with him being on a mission towards mass genocide—but a few of the good guys got to prove that they'd make solid Saturday Night Live hosts someday. Keep reading to check out some of the funniest scenes from Infinity War.

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10. Ned's Distraction

When the Black Order invades New York City, Peter Parker's spidey sense doesn't tingle quite soon enough. He's on a school bus with the rest of his classmates, heading to the Museum of Modern Art for a class trip when the hair on his arm stands up, warning him that danger is afoot. However, seeing as his identity is known to only three other people outside of the Avengers (his best friend Ned, his enemy Adrian Toomes, aka the Vulture, and his Aunt May), he can't very well just ask the bus driver to pull over so that he can ditch the field trip and fight. He needs a distraction. And in order to do so, his getaway turns out to be easier than expected.

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He turns to Ned, who is sitting in front of him, and tells him that he needs a distraction—and without a single moment of hesitation, Ned shifts gears, jumping to his feet and shouting to everyone that they're "all gonna die!" Naturally, the students panic, moving to the back of the bus, per Ned's orders, and Peter has plenty of time to sneak out the window, undetected.

9. "Get Lost, Squidward."

Before Peter gets a chance to confront the Black Order, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Doctor Strange, and Wong get to them first. When the villains drop anchor in Manhattan, the heroic quartet greets them, prepared to fight. Only, per Stark's natural proclivity towards sarcasm, the fight is prefaced with some casual name-calling. And as it so happens, Stark's go-to jab is equal parts perfect and random—given that it's a SpongeBob SquarePants reference coming from someone who is hardly part of the show's target audience.

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Related: Infinity War Black Order Clip: Avengers V Team Thanos

As the mellow, but malicious, Ebony Maw approaches the heroes, Stark manages to kill all the character's menacing introduction dead in its tracks when he says, "Get lost, Squidward." Sometimes, something as simple as a pop culture reference can hold a lot of weight; which is ironic, considering the fact that Stark's stance on this sort of thing makes a drastic shift later on in the movie when the references come from his Avenger-in-training, Peter Parker (more on that later).

8. Rabbit Racoon

Having appeared in three films within the MCU so far, audiences are well aware that Rocket Raccoon is a bit sensitive about his appearance. However, when he and the other Guardians of the Galaxy cross paths with Thor, he's happy to keep his mouth shut when the God of Thunder isn't quite up to speed with the existence of raccoons, and instead refers to Rocket as a rabbit.

It's a gag that continues throughout the remainder of the movie following their first meeting, since Rocket teams himself up with Thor in his pursuit of a new hammer. Rocket's willingness to let the "rabbit" thing slide makes it that much funnier, seeing as audiences are well aware how much frustration he's clearly holding back.

7. "No More Pop Culture References."

In Captain America: Civil War, Peter Parker takes down the giant-sized Ant-Man thanks to Star Wars. He asks the other Avengers if they had ever seen "that really old movie, Empire Strikes Backseconds before webbing up the giant's legs, forcing him to fall over. This line gets a call back in Infinity War when Peter asks Tony Stark if he had ever seen "this really old movie called Aliens." (He's referring to the scene in which Ripley defeats the Queen by opening an airlock, which ultimately sucks the Xenomorph into space.)

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Related: Avengers Director On ‘Incorrect’ Spider-Man: Homecoming Time Jump

However, once Peter keeps running with various references to movies, Stark calls him out on it, insisting—nay, demanding—that there will be "No more pop culture references" from here on out. And, naturally, given the fact that Peter sees Stark as more of a boss than a teammate, he obliges.

6. Banner Yelling at the Hulk

Even though Bruce Banner and the Hulk never got their own standalone movie in the MCU (not with Mark Ruffalo, at least), the friendly green giant more or less stole the show in Thor: Ragnarok. Banner does eventually get some screen time, but for the most part, it's Hulk's show. In Infinity War, however, the exact opposite is the case. The Hulk makes a brief cameo in the opening scene when he faces off against Thanos, but he ultimately takes a backseat and goes AWOL for the rest of the movie.

Any time chaos ensues, Hulk refuses to come out and play. And though it's frustrating for Banner, the interactions between Banner and the Hulk (which is, technically, just with himself) are comic gold. The first incident where Banner has trouble transforming into the Hulk plays out as though Banner is struggling with erectile dysfunction, embarrassed that it never works when he wants it to and mentioning that he just needs to focus. This gag continues throughout the rest of the movie, ultimately leading to Banner calling Hulk a "giant green a**hole."

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Key Release Dates
  • The Avengers 4 / Untitled Avengers Movie (2019) release date: May 03, 2019
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 release date: Sep 24, 2018
  • Ant-Man & The Wasp (2018) release date: Jul 06, 2018
  • Captain Marvel (2019) release date: Mar 08, 2019
  • Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) release date: Jul 05, 2019
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