They may be family-friendly in the MCU, but the Avengers just gave Deadpool a brutal beating that would kill a normal human being. Honestly, who knew what Marvel's brightest heroes were capable of when unleashing their powers without worrying about murder?
It won't be happening in the films any time soon, even if Deadpool soon joins the MCU after Avengers 4 wraps up. But for those who have always wondered what violence Iron Man, Captain Marvel, and Thor could actually unleash on Wade Wilson if they needed him to shut up, the answer finally arrives in Deadpool #2.
But be warned: it's as R-Rated as you'll ever see Marvel's mightiest heroes.
In the comics, Wade has been trying to avoid the spotlight ever since Secret Empire, when an evil Captain America ordered Deadpool to kill Agent Phil Coulson (making him the most hated man in the Marvel Universe). With his newly relaunched series, he even wiped his own memory for a fresh start. But he remembers enough to panic when Captain America suddenly shows up on his doorstep.
Well, technically, in the food court of the shopping mall where Deadpool rents an office for his contract killing business. But you get the idea.
After attempting a quick getaway before even learning why Steve Rogers has sought Deadpool out (hint: it's to help save the world), Cap plants his shield directly into Wade's back, doing serious collateral damage to Ghost Rider's signature muscle car. From there, things only get more out of control.
Deadpool respond exactly how fans would expect, if suddenly ambushed by Captain America, Iron Man, Captain Marvel, Doctor Strange, She-Hulk, Thor, and the Spirit of Vengeance. But considering the assembled heroes' power, the hail of bullets Wade sends their way (a reflex, really) poses almost no threat at all. Whether possessing bulletproof skin, energy or magical shielding, or invulnerability to such weaponry, Deadpool is outmatched and outnumbered.
A point made perfectly clear by the heroes, who waste no time in blasting, smashing, beating, and slicing him to death. If he could... you know, die.
It's likely that Marvel editorial would prefer this scene be kept within the realm and tone of the Deadpool comic alone, which it certainly will not. The image of Captain Marvel a.k.a. Carol Danvers using her cosmic powers to blast Deadpool's innards out of his body or (Thor planting his hammer into Deadpool's head with a bloody thud you can practically hear) redefines hard to forget.
But the final credit goes largely to Ghost Rider Gabriel Reyes, who gets revenge for his busted ride by slicing Deadpool's arm clean off his body with his bladed chain. All of which is deemed necessary by the most senior heroes present (with only Steve Rogers not shown taking part in the beating. Good ol' Cap).
Its only right to offer them a defense as well, since they all know that Deadpool won't be killed by any injury, and the fate of the Earth is relying on him calming down long enough to listen. And if fans assumed that the story got less ludicrous after hearing their request - while duct-taping his body back together - then we have bad news.
The enemy the Avengers need Deadpool to fight is a new Marvel Celestial who vomits over entire planets. Naturally, it's a fight he instantly signs up for. Now that is the kind of disgusting story Disney will probably never allow in a Deadpool movie when once they own the rights.
But it's still more likely than seeing the Avengers eviscerate Deadpool like fans always knew was possible. Fingers crossed.
Deadpool #2 is available now from Marvel Comics.