Tobias Funke is one of the funniest characters on Arrested Development, and like most of the characters on that show, his hilarity is completely unintentional. Tobias is a very oblivious person. He thinks he is an actor despite never getting any parts. He thinks he has a successful marriage despite him and his wife not getting along. But Tobias' biggest oversights are his choice of words.
Tobias has a habit of phrasing things in the worst possible way, making everything he says sound vulgar and hinting at his own homosexuality which he consistently denies. As much as it can be hard for others to hear, does provide a lot of laughs. Here are some of the times Tobias Funke should have chosen his words better.
Daddy Needs To Get His Rocks Off
There was a lot of excitement when Arrested Development returned to Netflix for a fourth season after so many years later. Sadly, the jumbled timeline and separate storylines proved disappointing to many fans. But there were some genuinely hilarious moments, like when Tobias accidentally appeared on a To Catch a Predator-like show.
With a camera crew set up in the model home, Tobias arrives at the house looking for his daughter Maebe to help him remove his Thing costume from his Fantastic Four musical (long story). Of course, he immediately incriminates himself as a creep on national television.
I Suppose I'm Buy-Curious
Poor Tobias. He cannot even go shopping without totally embarrassing himself. Although, sometimes it feels like he inserts himself into these situations on purpose.
After becoming convinced he needs a full head of hair to become a leading man, Tobias visits a wig shop that caters to the drag community. The salesperson recognizes Tobias from previous visits and asks if he's going to buy this time or if he's just curious. Tobias really can't blame anyone but himself for his awkward response.
One In The Can
Becoming a working actor is very hard to do. These people face a lot of rejection and so few of them can make a decent living from the profession. So the fact that Tobias is willing to continue to fight to achieve his dream is admirable. However, he has trouble vocalizing that struggle.
Though keeping an open mind and a positive spirit, Tobias admits "I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can." At least he's not letting himself get discouraged.
Wingman
Tobias, like most of the Bluth clan, can be pretty selfish. But he is also capable of helping out his family members when they are in need, even if they really don't want his help. When Tobias perceives Michael to be suffering from a lackluster dating life, he volunteers to help Michael as his wingman.
Tobias is clearly looking to go above and beyond in helping Michael find love. He explains he'll do his duty as wingman, "Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up." Strangely enough, he doesn't seem bothered at all by that idea.
Vanity Plate
It's clear that Tobias gets very excited about discovering a new path. Despite being a semi-successful therapist, he abandons that career and a whim and commits himself completely to this new career. Likewise, when Tobias and Lindsey decide to make a new start for themselves, he embraces the idea wholeheartedly.
Tobias displays his passion and commitment to this new path with a vanity license plate. Of course, "A New Start" can't fit on a license plate so Tobias is forced to shorten and combine it a little with a plate that reads "ANUSTART". It certainly worked to get people's attention.
Leading Man Parts
Tobias doesn't really have any acting talents to speak of, but that doesn't stop him from convincing himself that he will become a famous actor. But instead of putting the effort into his training or acting classes, he focuses on trivial solutions.
After getting some horrific hair plugs, Tobias is sure the door will begin opening for him immediately. Excited, he says "I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth." There's not a lot anyone can say in response to that.
Tobias, You Blowhard
At one point, Tobias' awkward phrasing gets so bad that Michael suggests he buy a recorder to listen back on the things he says throughout the day. As you can guess, it provides Tobias with a lot to think about, even if he completely misses the point.
While listening back at his many poorly phrased moments Tobias does notice something distinct about the way he speaks. Although he comes to the conclusion that he is just a boastful windbag, leading to him adding one more poorly phrased gem to the collection.
Dry Run
While we can all be accused of letting the occasional odd phase slip out of our mouths from time to time, Tobias does it so often that it's easy to think he knows what he's doing. That's especially true of this epic explanation that is just a rollercoaster of cringe-worthy word choices.
Every Arrested Development Supporting Character, Ranked
After Tobias plans a romantic getaway for himself and Lindsey, he accidentally goes through the entire package, thinking he's only sampling what they have to offer. He explains it to Michael by saying "I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run. If you will. And now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands."
I Just Blue Myself
In an attempt to fulfil his dream of performing on stage, Tobias takes a job as an understudy for the Blue Man Group the famous Las Vegas show. Though he doesn't seem remotely qualified for the part, he gets the gig and commits himself to it with all his passion.
In an effort to be ready if he's ever called upon, Tobias decides to paint himself blue each show night. This often leads to him being covered in blue paint and wondering about the house making a mess. When Michael inquires about the odd appearance, Tobias explains it in the clearest way he knows how.
Business Card
Though his true passion is certainly acting, Tobias does still considers himself a therapist and is willing to slip back into that role when needed. He doesn't seem to be any good at that job either, despite some ground-breaking work he did in that profession.
Tobias proudly explains that he was not only a therapist but also an analyst, combining those jobs for the first time ever. Unfortunately, when he got business cards printed up, he created his own title by mashing the two professions together in quite an alarming way.