The wackiest characters on Arrested Development are the ones who sponge off of Michael and rely on him to fix their problems, like teenage studio executive Maeby, her Blue Man Group understudy father Tobias, and her innocent, childlike uncle, Buster, arguably the funniest character in the series.
As “the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together,” Michael is the least ridiculous and most sensible member of the Bluth clan. But being the deadpan voice of reason to characters like Lucille and G.O.B. gave Michael his own set of hilarious, memorable lines.
“Her?”
There are plenty of shows out there for people who like Arrested Development, but there are few singular actors that can do deadpan humor as well as Michael Bateman. “Her?” is just one quote, when delivered the right way by a fan, that can determine if someone is an Arrested Development fan.
When George Michael starts dating Ann, Michael instantly disapproves of the relationship and makes no secret of it. He can never remember who she is, so every time George Michael mentions her and reminds Michael she exists, he asks, “Her?” Eventually, this was adopted by the rest of the Bluth family.
“The Mere Fact That You Call Making Love "Pop-Pop" Tells Me You’re Not Ready.”
Michael wants to be a good dad to George Michael, and the two are one of the best duos on Arrested Development. But the father-son pair struggles in the communication department because Michael only ever hears what he wants to hear. When George Michael is harboring George Sr. in the attic, Michael thinks he’s hiding his girlfriend Ann up there.
When George Michael tries to confess to his dad by saying, “I have Pop-Pop in the attic,” Michael completely misunderstands and tells him this quote, making for a hilarious exchange.
“I Don’t Know What I Expected.”
G.O.B.’s fledgling magic career means that there are often strange animals lurking around the Bluth house. Michael finds a brown paper bag in the fridge, labeled: “Dead dove. Do not eat.” He peeks in the bag, looks horrified, and dryly quips, “I don’t know what I expected.”
The audience doesn’t actually get to see what’s in the bag, but it’s easy to deduce from Michael’s reaction that there was, in fact, a dead dove in there.
“Guy’s A Pro.”
Michael desperately wants to replace Barry with an attorney who actually knows what he’s doing, but since it’s a delicate matter, he has to hide the new attorney, Wayne Jarvis, from his parents.
Jarvis hides behind a couch to avoid being seen by Lucille and later hides behind a garbage can to avoid being seen by George Sr. Both times, Michael proudly says, “Guy’s a pro.” In Michael’s eyes, the mark of a trustworthy lawyer is one who can always find a nearby hiding place.
“Has Anyone In This Family Even Seen A Chicken!?”
The "chicken dance" is one of the most absurd (and hilarious) running gags in the series. G.O.B. was the first to try and fail to impersonate a chicken. When he first showcased his chicken dance, Buster pointed out his most glaring zoological error: “Chickens don’t clap!”
After that, all the other Bluths began to reveal their own chicken dances, each looking even less like a real chicken than the last, until Michael finally asked, “Has anyone in this family even seen a chicken!?”
“I Wonder How I Can Talk You Out Of Ever Making That Face Again.”
When Lucille winks at Michael to insinuate he’ll be named as the new CEO of the Bluth Company (despite the fact she’s taking the job herself), it chills him to the bone. After watching his mother wink, Michael says this caustic line.
Michael claims that his relationship with his mother isn’t playful, but moments like this that exhibit a mix of affection and tension would suggest otherwise.
“Stupid Cornballin’ Piece Of Sh*t!”
Invented by George Bluth in the mid-1970s, the Cornballer produces tasty snacks but gets so hot that it might send users to the burn unit. Whenever somebody touches the Cornballer in Arrested Development, their next few words have to be bleeped out.
Michael is in the middle of telling George Michael the old adage that only a poor carpenter blames his tools when he sears his arm on the Cornballer and calls his own tool a “stupid cornballin’ piece of sh*t!”
“He Said Some Wonderful Things.”
When Tobias is admitted to the hospital and Michael tells a concerned Lindsay that he’d seen him earlier that day, Lindsay asks, “What was the last thing he said?” Michael thinks back to his last encounter with Tobias and remembers that his brother-in-law said, “I just blue myself.” When George Sr. was in trouble and Lucille asked the same question, Michael remembers that his father said, “Daddy horny, Michael.”
In both cases, Michael avoids the awkward situation of having to quote them word-for-word by using the same vague terms: “He said some wonderful things.”
“It’s As Ann As The Nose On Plain’s Face.”
One of the funniest running jokes in Arrested Development revolves around the Bluth family’s inability to remember Ann’s name – especially Michael. He always refers to her by a completely incorrect name like “Egg” or “Plant.”
The most ridiculous example of this is when he gets the phrasing of the idiom “as plain as the nose on your face” completely wrong and says, “It’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face.”
“There Are Just So Many Poorly Chosen Words In That Sentence.”
Michael works best as a straight-faced foil for his wacky family. He’s always quick to point out Tobias’ unintentional use of double entendres in almost everything he says, and Tobias still fails to see it.
When delivers one of his many NSFW double entendres, ending with "... so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands,” Michael replies with this perfect deadpan response.