America’s Next Top Model’s creative director Jay Manuel revealed behind-the-scenes details about his time on the show and why he left. ANTM was a pop culture icon, spanning 24 seasons from 2003 to 2018. A diverse group of models flocked to the TV runway, putting themselves through a variety of strenuous photo shoots, all under the guide of outspoken former supermodel Tyra Banks. But the show’s run was not without its fair share of controversy due to the provocative photo shoots and offensive comments from the judges.

Jay Manuel was the creative director of the show for 18 seasons before being fired in 2012, despite being a personal friend of Tyra Banks and a fan favorite cast member. The decision not to renew the contract came as a shock to audiences because of how crucial his role was to the success of the show. Many have speculated it was due to the controversial nature of the photo shoots, which included racial swapping and models portraying eating disorders and death.

Related: Too Hot to Handle: Matthew (Jesus) Smith Was Unrecognizable on America's Next Top Model

Manuel has since expressed in an interview with Variety what he thought about those controversial moments, “I do remember, and it was very uncomfortable for me, in Cycle 4, it was a photo shoot where the girls had to swap races…I was so afraid that I would wear this because I was the creative director, but it was not my idea. That swapped race was a layer added in. It was supposed to be a different concept. I remember that very, very clearly. I was basically told that I had to execute the creative, and it made me very uncomfortable.” Manuel goes one to say that final decisions were ultimately left up to executive producer Ken Mok and Tyra Banks.

He also revealed that he left ANTM over his inability to pursue other career goals due to demands of the show, and his departure was not due to “bad blood” between him and Tyra, which was reported at the time. Manuel clears up rumors that the show decided not to renew his contract, stating, “By the time I finished with Cycle 18, there was just so much more I needed to do with my career and I wasn’t offering anything new to the show, at that point,” and, “The show would negotiate four cycles at a time, and when they came to me for Cycles 17 and 18, they actually wanted Cycles 17 through 20, and we settled on 17 and 18, but that is something that the public was not aware of, and it was misreported.”

It appears one of the career goals Manuel spoke of has come to light, as he has a new book coming out called, The Wig, The Bitch, and The Meltdown, which is a satirical novel inspired by his time on ANTM. Although the book is fiction, Manuel says it will explore real behind-the-scenes moments from the show. If Manuel’s upcoming novel is anything like fashion industry veteran Lauren Weisberger’s The Devil Wears Prada, fans will have plenty to look forward to. And unless someone from ANTM writes a tell-all, this will be our best chance to look behind the curtain of one of the most polarizing and controversial reality shows to date.

Next: Too Hot to Handle: Matthew’s America's Next Top Model Crush Was Murdered In Violent Shooting

Source: Variety