There’s a lot to enjoy about American Horror Story: Hotel, the fifth season of the long-running horror show from prolific creator Ryan Murphy. It manages, for the most part, to stay fairly confined to its main narrative purpose, and there’s no question that it is a feast for the eyes.
While it lacks the stellar presence of Jessica Lange, who made the earlier seasons such a pleasure, Lady Gaga ably fills in for her. However, despite its strengths as a season, there are still quite a few things in it that defy the laws of narrative and character logic.
That Scene With The Drill
Anyone who has even seen one season of this show knows that it sometimes likes to indulge in the grotesque and the over-the-top. That is pretty blatantly on display in this season, when a young man gets sexually assaulted by a demon wearing a drill and dies as a result of his injuries.
Even for a show that delights in campy excess, this seems like a step too far (and it really doesn’t add anything to the plot, either).
The Inclusion Of Rudolph Valentino
There’s no question that Ryan Murphy has a bit of a love affair with old Hollywood (as several of his more recent productions make clear).
However, there are times when he seems to want to shoehorn it into places that it really doesn’t work. That emerges in this season, when for some reason Rudolph Valentino is introduced as a character. While it’s fine as far as it goes, it seems like a random person to include in a show about a haunted hotel.
Also, Why Did He Become A Vampire?
Relatedly, it’s revealed that Valentino actually faked his death, convincing the entire world that he was dead (no small feat, considering how popular he was, one of the true movie star gods of old). It’s then revealed that, after this, he became a vampire.
However, the explanation for this is a bit weak and, more importantly, it’s a little unclear why he would choose this fate, since clearly he couldn’t go on being a movie star for the rest of his immortal life (and besides, he would be constantly in the eye of the public).
Why John Lowe Is So Dumb
Poor Wes Bentley. He really does give it his all in this season, but by the end he seems to be a bit frazzled, and he really doesn’t manage to play his character John Lowe with a significant amount of depth. In fact, he just seems to run around the whole season teetering on the brink of insanity and wondering what, exactly, is happening to him.
One would think that someone trained to be a detective would be a little more aware of the world around him.
How Unpowerful Vampires Seem To Be
One of the more glaring narrative problems in this season is the nature of the vampires. While they seem to have the immortal life that is always associated with these creatures, they are surprisingly susceptible to death.
What’s more, they don’t really seem to have any extraordinary powers other than the necessary drinking of human blood. One can’t help but wonder why the writers would decide to make them vampires, when they weren’t going to include very many of the traits that one typically thinks of when vampires come up.
Evan Peters’ Accent
From the very beginning, Evan Peters has been one of the best things about this franchise. He’s a strong actor, and there’s a powerful screen presence to him that allows him to move into different characters with ease.
While his character in this season is a frightening one, there’s one thing that really mars his performance, and that is his truly atrocious accent. It sounds like he’s trying to do a patrician American accent, but it comes across as fake and more than a little campy (and not in the good way). Surely Evan Peters could have done better.
Queenie’s Unfortunate Imprisonment In The Hotel
It’s always a pleasant surprise when characters move between the different seasons of the show, and so it was rather nice to see Queenie from the third season appear, even though it was also a little distressing to see her check in at the Cortez. What really doesn’t make a lot of sense, though, is why she ends up getting imprisoned there after she’s murdered by March.
It seems like a rather disingenuous way to send off a beloved character.
Why Alex Thought It Was A Good Idea To Save A Kid With Vampire Blood
One of this season’s more frustrating characters is Alex, John Lowe’s wife who happens to be a doctor. When she finally allows the Countess to turn her into a vampire so that she can remain with her son (who has also been turned), she for some reason decides it would be a good idea to infect a sick child with her blood in order to heal him.
It’s hard to see, though, why she in any way thought this was a good idea, considering she had to know what it would do (i.e., turn the kid into a vampire, which it did).
The Vampire Children…
After Alex’s patient manages to turn into a vampire, he unsurprisingly goes on to devour his parents and turn a whole bunch of other children into little vampires.
While they eventually end up in the Cortez, one can’t help but wonder what, exactly, the police department was doing while all of these families and teachers were ending up slaughtered. Not only do the children seem like a little bit too much, but their own story doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Why Do People Still Go To This Hotel?
Perhaps the most glaring question of all is this one: why on earth do people still keep going to the Hotel Cortez, even though they know that it has a sinister reputation?
While one can make some allowances for thrill seekers and those who like to visit haunted places, one would think that at some point people would realize that a visit to this place shortens life expectancy and would therefore try to avoid it as much as possible.