Dee Reynolds: 10 Funniest Quotes From It's Always Sunny's Golden Goddess

In the early seasons of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dee Reynolds didn’t have much to do. She was the token female and a soft voice of reason that no one listened to. The writers have even admitted that they didn’t know how to write a female character back then.

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But they’ve since given Kaitlin Olson more control of her own character, and in the later years, Dee has gone on to become just as hilariously horrible as the rest of the Gang. So, fans of Dee Reynolds, here are the 10 Funniest Quotes From It’s Always Sunny’s Golden Goddess.

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10 “I am a 2018 Range Rover woman. I am a golden goddess. Who are you, idiot? Savage!”

In the episode “The Gang Gets New Wheels” from the latest season of It’s Always Sunny, Dennis downgrades to a Prius, having had his Range Rover blown up by the Gang, while Dee gets a hold of the new Range Rover he wants when Frank’s licence expires.

The Prius turns Dennis into a total softie who joins a fantasy football league and can’t flirt with women and doesn’t express any angry or violent thoughts. Meanwhile, the Range Rover sends Dee head-first into a downward mental spiral that turns her into Dennis. She even starts calling people “savages” and “idiots,” and refers to herself as “a golden goddess,” just like Dennis.

9 “We’re trying to give you the Christmas spirit, d***hole!”

The Christmas special of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, “A Very Sunny Christmas,” does a typical sitcom’s Christmas special in the most Always Sunny way possible. So, it was only fitting that the episode ended with the Gang singing carols in the streets of Philly, getting rejected by the residents who just want to get some sleep, and continuing to sing them anyway, just to spite them.

All throughout the episode, Dennis and Dee try to get Frank to realize the error of his ways, like Ebenezer Scrooge, but since this is Frank Reynolds we’re talking about, they fail miserably.

8 “If you don’t have car insurance, you better have dental, because I am going to smash your teeth into dust!”

This line comes near the beginning of the season 8 episode “Charlie and Dee Find Love.” Dee’s car is crashed into and the people who crashed into her turn out to be perfect romantic partners for her and Charlie (although Dee’s guy turns out to only be dating her as part of a big scam with his rich friends).

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But before she realizes this, she gets furious at the driver for bumping into her car. Dee is no stranger to terrible things happening to her cars, since she’s had two of them destroyed by Mac and Charlie and they never reimbursed her.

7 “I will eat your babies, b****!”

The season 2 episode “Hundred Dollar Baby” was one of the first times that Dee was allowed to get just a wild as her friends. Frank starts training her to box after she feels unprepared to defend herself in a mugging, and they get into a rivalry with Frank’s old sparring partner and his own daughter.

Eventually, Dee gets hooked on steroids and the rivalry gets pretty intense as Dee threatens to eat her new rival’s babies. In the end, Frank steps into the ring and ends up knocking his old rival’s daughter onto a stool, a la Million Dollar Baby, possibly killing her.

6 “Your mom doesn’t know d***! She’s a dumb, fat cow. And your sister, she’s a stupid little s***-mouthed b****, isn’t she?”

“Frank Reynolds’ Little Beauties” is one of the funniest episodes of It’s Always Sunny, because all of the characters have something hilarious going on.

Frank is desperate not to seem shady like the co-founder of the child beauty pageant that he met in a strip club; Dennis, Mac, and Charlie work on a dance with the only boy in the pageant that turns out to be really awkward and not as cool as they visualized; and Dee, having won a lot of pageants as a kid and been bullied by the leading contestant in this one, wants to prove she’s still got it.

5 “I hear the guy hangs dong and I’m very interested in seeing that.”

In the season 7 episode “Thunder Gun Express,” when Frank hears that the rest of the Gang are going to see a highly anticipated new action movie, he wants to come with them. But since he didn’t buy a ticket, he has to either hope there’s one available seat left in the theater or take one of theirs.

He tries to convince Dee to give him her ticket, since she doesn’t really like action movies, but she argues that the new blockbuster is just as much a love story as an action movie – plus, the lead character reportedly “hangs dong,” and she’s excited by that.

4 “Oh, you’re definitely gonna end up doing gay p*** with this tiny little body of yours.”

In season 5’s “The Gang Hits the Road,” the Paddy’s Pub proprietors decide to go on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. Dee tags along, and when Dennis’ car gets trashed in an altercation with a cyclist, they have to take her car. Since the guys are all knocking back beers, Dee is the only one who can drive.

She wants to drink with them, so she picks up a teenage hitchhiker and gets him to drive instead. When he tells her he’s heading to Los Angeles, she thinks he’s going to end up in gay adult films, but he’s actually heading out there to stay with his uncle.

3 “Groban likes his ladies to pop.”

Dee repeats this line a few times in the episode “Mac’s Mom Burns Her House Down,” in which Frank sabotages her attempts to get ready for a Josh Groban concert. This line gets bonus points for reappearing in Dee’s dream sequence in the show’s 100th episode, “The Gang Saves the Day.”

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As Dee imagines going into witness protection undercover as a British butler, she goes on to become a sitcom star and later a movie star married to Josh Groban. The production team somehow got Groban himself to come in for a guest spot and declare that he does, in fact, like his ladies to pop.

2 “You guys wanna go for an Octomom thing? I’m game. You wanna have 10? You wanna outdo that b****? I’ll have that conversation.”

In the season 5 premiere episode, “The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis,” Dee meets with a couple who want a baby about being their surrogate mother. In an attempt to squeeze as much money out of them as she can, she offers them some package deals for multiple babies. This is the episode in which Dee attempts to do a “sweet jack-knife” into the pool.

Kaitlin Olson usually does Dee’s stunts herself – and there are a lot, like climbing into a wall to kill some cats or falling head-first into the side of a car outside a shoe store – but she didn’t do the jack-knife in this episode.

1 “You guys all better eat a d***, ‘cause Sweet Dee just beat the system.”

One of the funniest elements of It’s Always Sunny is the fact that the cold open ends with a setup for the episode title. This one appears right before the title “Sweet Dee Gets Audited” appears.

By the time this episode aired in season 7, the writers had figured out the best way to juxtapose the final line of the cold open with the title of the episode. Later in the episode, Dee takes on the IRS by faking the death of her fake baby and throwing a baby funeral in the bar, which Dennis declares to be “the darkest thing we’ve ever done.”

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