With season 9 of 90 Day Fiancé nearing its midpoint, the series' trademark culture clashes and overdramatics are on full display. Lush with everything but peaceful cohabitation, the nothing fights that follow this season's seven couples tend to hold root with bigger issues burrowed just below the surface.
As simple disagreements grow progressively more combative, the overall lack of understanding and amenability between the couples speaks more of dysfunctionality than it does of future matrimony. From breastfeeding and bidets to the outright rejection of having a wife that shares authority with her husband, this season's lover's quarrels aren't just red flags; they're roadblocks.
Get In The Van
Finding an unencumbered moment of sweetness between Bilal Hazziez and Shaeeda Sween is difficult. As Sween arrives, Bilal is neck-deep in a sprawling test of integrity akin to The Prince and the Pauper, but with Bilal in both roles. His concerns are confirmed before he buckles his seatbelt.
As he brings Shaeeda to his decoy Chevy Express, her disgust is palpable. "Scooby-Doo van, babe?" she asks, before scoffing, "You didn't put my things in all this trash? I think I see a rat or something." Comparing the van to Sanford and Son, the big one was in fact coming in the form of Bilal taking her to his childhood home. If Shaeeda couldn't accept a perfectly functional van, let alone the home in which he grew up, maybe she didn't deserve the keys to his actual kingdom.
Robbing The Cradle
Though Kara Bass and Guillermo Rojer are only six years apart in age, Kara and her friends treat their gap like a canyon. As Kara flies to the Dominican Republic to pick up Guillermo and say goodbye to their friends and his brother, her responsibility/hold over him becomes the topic of conversation. "Kara likes boys. She wants a toddler. Cradle robber," she says, giggling through her accusations.
As Kara pantomimes rocking her 23-year-old baby, Guillermo takes issue with her problematic and emasculating quips. He's quick to interject over how much he dislikes her inferences and states that the most important thing for him is respect and to be treated like a man. With Kara continuing to treat him like an exchange student, his worries only grow stronger.
Bed And Breakfast
Bridging Egypt and Albequerque, Mohamed Abdelhamed and Yvette Arellano come from two different worlds. As Yve is a 48-year-old holistic healer/free spirit and Mohamed is a 25-year-old Muslim man who's only ever lived with his mother, cultural clashes were inevitable. What Yve didn't plan for were Mohamed's increasingly restrictive expectations and incessant, passive-aggressive guilt trips.
Single mother to a sweet and special needs boy named Tharan, Yve is tasked not only with raising a child that needs round-the-clock care but also with being the sole provider for a man that essentially wants her to be his mother. As Mohamed warns, "I thought you were going to make me breakfast this morning. Don't get used to that," in response to Yve leaving for work without feeding him, it's clear that the subservience he craves is going to be an issue.
Big City Biniyam
Biniyam Shibre's dreams taking precedence over getting a legitimate day job is an ongoing issue for the Ethiopian entertainer and his fiancé, Ariela Weinberg. After leaving Africa for New Jersey with a freshly granted K-1 visa, the lopsided nature of the couple's finances comes to a head. With Biniyam leaving all of his patchwork gigs behind, the burden of breadwinning falls squarely on Ari and her parents' shoulders.
After settling into the apartment that her parents are paying for in New Jersey, Ari takes Biniyam into Manhattan and shows him the city. Biniyam is almost immediately imbued with the spirit of New York's showtime dancers. As he pitches moving to the city over dinner, Ari loses it over his nearsightedness. Instead of stability for his fiancé and child, Bini's focus lies solely on himself.
We're Moving To Dallas
Pat Mendes and Thais Ramone seem like the perfect couple. Both equally striking, the Austinite and the Brazilian radiate influencer energy with a touch of humility. Pat's unwavering support for his brother John, who's very clearly struggling with his demons, is touching, inspirational, and an issue for Thais.
Before she sets foot in the States, Thais is adamant about John not living with them—despite him already living with Pat. After Pat sells his Austin home and buys a new one in Dallas, Thais romanticizes the thought of a Johnless household. Realizing that John isn't going anywhere, she finds fault with everything from the size of the house to John's square footage. Her ignorance to John's struggle and underappreciation of Pat's benevolence is irksome and ongoing.
Talk About Lowballing
With Guillermo now in Charlottesville, VA, his access to familiarity is essentially nonexistent. Having sold most of his things before the move, he brought with him little but bright eyes and modest savings for his 90-day grace period. As Kara positions herself as executor/treasurer, Guillermo finds himself with minimal say over his own finances.
Twenty-three and housebound, Guillermo understandably wants a computer. Kara's response is "let's just start with a toothbrush." It's not just her refuting access to the funds he accrued by selling his possessions that's alarming but her brazenly brushing off his needs as insignificant that really causes concern.
Dressed Like That?
Another notch in Mohamed's antiquated tool belt, he guilts Yve into wearing a long jacket over her light and vaguely translucent dress moments before they leave to go meet her friends. The first meeting between Yve's "squad" and her fiancé, Mohamed's regressive insistence casts an ugly shadow over what should have been an exciting evening.
As this was Yve's first opportunity to show off the man she's fallen in love with and quell any concerns her friends had over his intentions, Mohamed's actions only serve to spawn new stressors for his fiancé. His planned reprogramming of Yve is no longer subtle and this serves as a moment of enlightenment for viewers and Yve alike.
Can't You Do That In The Basement?
Emily Bieberly and Kobe Blaise's relationship is defined by absence and catch-up. After getting pregnant during a chance encounter in China, the engaged couple reunites for the first time in two years in Selina, Kansas, to raise their 2-year-old together. Foreign to fatherhood and Emily's feeding schedule, Kobe isn't exactly accepting of her methods.
As Emily breastfeeds baby Koban beside her parents, just as she'd been doing for the prior 17 months, Kobe wastes no time in voicing his disapproval. Ignorant to Emily's issues with breastfeeding, he tells her to do it in the basement and offers that she should have stopped after seven months. With his comment, "I can't be sharing breasts with my son," his immaturity couldn't be more eye-opening.
Don't Make Me Call You An Uber
Despite Bilal's affinity for mind games, he's far from accepting of reciprocation. Driving to Jum'ah for prayer and to meet Bilal's ex-wife, Shaeeda was on edge. As she expresses her nervousness through Bilal's lecturing, Bilal attempts to cut the tension by telling her she has a booger in her nose.
As Shaeeda swats him, Bilal's mood changes. After being told not to do it again, she grabs his face and hits him in the back of the head. Bilal's inability to take what he dished out and Shaeeda's indifference to Bilal's seriousness over their fight pinpoints a couple with little to laugh about and a lot to figure out.
Bathroom Insecurities
There is no greater example of Mohamed's insecurity and ineptitude than the bidet. After expecting Yve to buy and install a bidet for his religious cleanings, he scolds her for not assembling it and assures her that "she'll get it done." Fed up with Yve being at work, he attempts to install it himself and barely gets beyond an unboxing.
After Yve calls a plumber to install it, Mohamed finds her act to be a lascivious betrayal and tells her that unless he's home, no man is allowed on the premises. Between telling her to make a list of his demands and essentially stripping her of freedoms as a homeowner, Mohamed's suppressive desires could no longer be ignored.