There is nothing as glorious in the world as 90 Day Fiancé-- the show touches on love, conflict, and the cultures of the world through the lens of some of the most ill-adjusted and immature people that exist.
So what we're saying is that it's a TLC show and we can't get enough of it. It isn't surprising that 90 Day Fiancé has a rabid fan base that clings to every update, social media post, and subtle nuance that TLC deems fit to feed to them.
While the fan base does love the show, what they really love is the private lives of the cast; the odd happenings and shady histories of the cast members before they were taking up TV time every Sunday night.
Trust us, there are some serious shady secrets and odd happenings that aren't broadcast on the kingdom of reality trash TV.
From mugshots, plastic surgery, to siblings who want to steal their slightly more successful relative's spot on the show, the list goes on and on.
As is the circle of life in the world of reality television; there is no depth unreachable or stoop low enough for the cast of stars that grace these hallowed grounds.
These people will do whatever it takes for their fifteen minutes of fame, even if it means potentially marrying a foreigner that they've met on a less than reputable website that sends most of their income back to their family in their home country.
Are you one of these true fans and are you sorely lacking on a steady injection of outrageous 90 Day cast photos in your life?
Fear not, for we have rounded up the 20 Crazy Photos Of The Cast Of 90 Day Fiancé. So, grab your binders of text messages and buy all the baht you can, because it's time to get started.
20 A Brand New Car!
It is a personal dream of a lot of folks to be on the hallowed stage of The Price Is Right, trying to guess how many cents over a bottle of detergent is so that they can get a little bit closer to winning a wave runner that they don't need.
However, there were two stars off of 90 Day Fiancé who guessed the detergent price, got that yodeler all the way to the summit, and nailed the Plinko drop, making it to the end and winning a brand new car.
Alan and Kirlyam ended up on the stage with Drew, and ended up scoring a brand new car out of the deal.
They both flipped out in the most adorable way, as people on the Price Is Right who win gas efficient compact cars are known to do.
We would love to win a Hyundai, or anything really. Maybe we could get one of those snazzy kitchen furniture sets or a life supply of cat food.
Please, we've spent all of our capital on 90 Day Fiancé DVDs, t-shirts, and other assorted memorabilia-- we'll take whatever we can get.
In the end, Alan and Kirlyam ended up giving the car away, which of course they did because they seem like the nicest people on 90 Day Fiancé, and really the world at large.
The world needs more Alan and Kirlyams, because we would definitely not give up a brand new car, especially if it was won in the estimation based struggle of The Price Is Right.
19 Darcy's Sister Wants In
We have a question that will separate the real 90 Day Fiancé fans from the pretenders: is that Darcy Silva above, and if so, who is the man that she is in the photo with? Explain your answer and show your work.
No, but seriously, the resemblance between Darcy and her sister is astounding; could they be trying to look more and more like Darcy (aside from the obvious genetic link), in an attempt to score a spot on the next season of 90 Day Fiancé? No, they're twins, duh.
Honestly, we wouldn't be that surprised, the girl doesn't seem to be doing much after a cursory glance at her social media profile.
Seriously, the text of beside the original post is just a simple shout of their names, and the simple announcement of their engagement, complete with a heart and ring emoji.
This is like chum in the water for the producers at TLC-- they smell a serious opportunity to have viewers pouring onto their channel to see if Stacey's fiancé makes her feel as uncomfortable as Jesse was able to make Darcy.
That would be a serious feat; it's truly hard to break down the subsequent destruction and reconstruction of a personality by a controlling Dutchmen, but Before The 90 Days made it look easy.
18 Making Friends On Vacation
Can you look a little less slimy Mohammed? Maybe get fully in the shot so that it doesn't look like you're trying to creep into these girl's lives like a lonely mid 40s man from New Jersey who is scoping chicks from the bar at a club that he is clearly too old to be in.
Remember when Danielle was geeking out because Mohammed was on vacation? These two ladies seem to be the reason why.
If you were Danielle, we could see why you might be a little intimidated by Mohammed's two vacation friends, even if they both look a little overdone and cheesed out.
It does really seem like Mohammed just slithered his way into the background though, from the mild cut off of the frame to the awkward smile, everything in his expression screams that he is not supposed to be there.
That, and Danielle is at home freezing with her three daughters in their trailer in Sandusky, Ohio.
At least Mohammed took it upon himself to get a bit warmer before he was going to head back. Hopefully he just brought her a little souvenir that wasn't an STI.
17 Their Tongues Are Almost Touching
Their tongues are very close to touching, although it seems like her tongue has a different idea than his, and her eyes look a bit less creepy.
Hopefully their ideals are a little bit more coordinated than their tongues when it comes to their relationship.
It's cute when you can grab a picture like this with your spouse, or your immigrant fiancé to be.
Is he trying to keep his tongue contained, or is his tongue just that short? Also, why is she so eager to let hers loose? These are all questions that the 90 Day Fiancé fan base needs answered, and we're not willing to be left in the dark.
Honestly, the season isn't long or in-depth enough for us to live happy lives. We need more answers to social media posts, more binders full of evidence, and more incomprehensible age gaps and accents then we can shake a stick at. Really TLC, what are you doing?
Why are you wasting your time or money on other shows-- other less excellent shows-- than 90 Day Fiancé?
It doesn't make sense to us and it definitely doesn't make sense to you-- just stop cutting our happiness out and start airing it 24/7, 365 days a year. We need more fresh episodes and we need them now.
16 Not Jorge's Finest Moment
Jorge isn't the first celebrity to have a mugshot, but he did somehow pull off looking the most spacey in his, if you know what we mean.
Jorge was caught trying to move some 300 odd pounds of Mary Jane through Arizona up to his home state of California.
Unfortunately, he didn't make it home, and was instead stopped by the cops.
We don't blame him having to self medicate-- he does answer every beck and call for red makeup bags and screaming cell phone conversations because he doesn't check in every five minutes.
It shouldn't come as much of a surprise, though, considering Jorge's history of working in the industry in California. However, it seems like Jorge ended up on the wrong side of the law this time, especially because what he was doing was 100% illegal.
Maybe this is one of the main reasons that Anfisa skipped out (for the short time that she did at least), but no one can really be sure, considering her own shady past.
Regardless, we hope Jorge can keep his toes on the right side of the line in the future, lest he end up in jail and off the next season of the best show on television.
15 A New Face
Does the person above look familiar to you? Mildly, but something is off, right? You do know her, it's Chantel from 90 Day Fiancé and before you say anything, she is denying that she got any work done.
It's more than obvious to anyone with eyeballs, but we're not trying to detract away from the work-- she looks good. The sad thing is, though, that she looked good before she got the work done, especially when she's hurling insults at Pedro's mother and sister in the hotel lobby of her wedding venue.
Seriously, the family Chantel does not mess around.
If the fight is coming, you best bring your chicken feet and schedule it out in the middle of the jungle, because then they won't show up. However, if you don't, they'll bring tiny cowboy hats and all the sass that you can handle, and trust us, it's more than you're expecting.
With kids with names like River and Winter, you better be able to throw those fists the family Chantel, and if you can't, don't expect to ever have a happy wedding (not that your daughter and her Pedro did anyway).
14 What Band Are You In?
Everyone knows the sad story of Molly and her days on 90 Day Fiancé-- she brought back a scummy dude from the Dominican Republic who was more than a bit younger than she was.
He felt out of place, and Molly did her best to keep her new man happy in the States.
Molly's kids disliked him, and in term, her new significant other, Luis didn't really feel like he liked them that much either.
Eventually, Luis was convinced that Molly worshiped Satan because she had owls in the house, and Molly told him to get out-- as is the way of life as it ebbs and flows through time for all of us.
Once they were separated, their lives went their natural way-- Luis moved in with his cousins in New Jersey and got cornrows and Molly broke out and signed up for a guest spot with her brother's band.
Now, as common sense would dictate, Molly's brother is rock or country, right? Well, Molly acted like she was showing up to a Run DMC audition, sporting Walmart shades and faux gang signs for your photo.
Why, Molly, why?
13 Paola, How Did You Afford Those?
Seriously, though, where the heck did you get the money to buy a couple grand pair of shoes? Especially when you don't have a modeling career to stand on (ha, shoe jokes).
However, really, Russ took a lower paying job for Paola to be able to pursue her modeling career, which doesn't actually exist.
Between having an agent who is not actually trying to book gigs for you and having no name rappers tell her that she should divorce her husband and take off more of her clothes, the modeling world has not been kind to her.
It also doesn't help that she dyes her hair every couple of hours.
It's anyone's choice to dye their hair whenever they want to, but it was Paola's decision to dye her hair the same color as Ariel's from The Little Mermaid. Maybe this is why none of the modeling gigs call back?
Also, Paola is convinced that she just has to nail that perfect hair color in order for her to get that take off modeling shoot.
However, she's still buying those expensive heels, regardless of how her career is going. Better keep making that oil money Russ, because Paola is most definitely spending it.
12 We're Surprised He Isn't Back Flipping
You may remember Patrick from Before The 90 Days-- he was the guy who went around Paris back flipping and making the girl he was visiting feel super uncomfortable by implying that her current boyfriend definitely wasn't as good as him, despite never having met him.
Well now we know why-- he is shredded like McChicken lettuce.
Seriously, with all the baguettes, brie, and bottles of wine in the city of love, you would figure that the guy would have put on some weight, especially as his romance started unraveling in front of his eyes.
You would figure that she would have told him that she was already in another relationship, but we're guessing sweet, sweet TLC cash hushed her right up.
Or, it didn't even take cash, just the promise of being on the best show currently on television. Or that she could have her very own circus clown to follow her around and do back flips off of stairs and architecture that's older than his country.
Either way, "it is not kind" as Parisians like to say.
It also seems odd that Patrick threw in the "snubbing your intimate being" thing-- it sounds like a guy who could really use that type of attention after being denied it during his euro vacation.
11 Abby's Secret Man
It does not seem surprising that Abby has already found a new man-- the girl has a lingerie business to run, dang it.
However, the fact that she broadcasts the fact that she is having panties smugglers escorting her around the island in droves and taking pictures of it to post to social media, seems like a pretty big snub to Chris and Sean.
Unless the guy driving the car is Chris, then it's just a huge snub to Sean.
It's not like he wouldn't deserve it or anything-- he was definitely a not a great guy when he was there, but she totally gave him a reason.
What a strange, tangled web those two wove while they were together in Haiti, and how incredibly complicated that she continues to make it by tying men up in her silk.
Speaking of silk, we wonder how her illicit underground women's under garments ring is going? She was making a pretty penny off of it when Sean was there, and Chris was before him-- it seems like there is a never ending supply of dry fifty something year old white men to help her run her lingerie cartel.
Maybe she'll end up in another season, this time as the queen of the island atop a throne of panties.
10 The Last Exorcism Of Anfisa
We're pretty sure that this is how Anfisa looks when no one else is around-- eyes rolled up and body turned off until a human with cash comes into her proximity.
Really, though, we're pretty sure that she's possessed by the demon of greed considering her list for a successful man being cash, cash, and more cash.
We haven't seen eyes roll up like that since The Exorcist, but Anfisa makes it look easy.
Next time we see her, we're going to have to ask her what the inside of her head looks like, because her pupils are looking straight up into that empty space where her brain should be.
We're pretty sure this is exactly what happens when Jorge doesn't bring her her red bag with her makeup or is able to pay for her extremely expensive tastes. Or when he gets caught trying to smuggle illicit substances through the country and gets caught in the process.
This is probably the exact reaction that Anfisa had when TLC gave her the first pitch for her pay rate to be on the show; the eyes went up and they have yet to come back down.
9 The Last Thing An Unlucky Woman Sees
Sean is an odd duck, the proof being how he treats other human beings that he'd like to have relationships with, the people that they happen to be friends with, and the voodoo doctors that they go to see, even though Abby just has a rampant case of scabies that she picked up from her last pantie connect.
Is it just us, or does Sean look more like he was crawling around in the dirt outside an ex's house?
We don't know if it's the dirt on his face, the hatred in his eyes, or the fact that he's looking at his own camera like he wants to bury it under the house, but it's hard to imagine how Abby even pretended to act like she was in a relationship with a normal human being.
We guess that Sean takes off the bead jewelry that he's been shilling when he does renovations around the house, or you know, follows people through the woods.
However, hey, if Sean is actually doing renovations on his house, good on him-- the place was in a constant state of disrepair every time that the crew came in to film Sean skulking around at home.
8 Some Pictures Aren't Necessary
Mohammed, why would you take a picture there? I'm sure that the other people in the steam room don't appreciate you pointing out that the fact it is hot in the steam room. Or the fact that you're taking pictures in the steam room at all.
The man really does like taking pictures with his shirt off, but can you imagine being in a room full of shirtless dudes?
Mohammed would probably use all the space on his phone and his cloud account just to broadcast that fact that he, and all the other guys around him, didn't have shirts on.
However, really Mohammed, no one wants to see you sweat.
We have a feeling that this is more than Danielle is ever got to see-- or ever got to see-- especially with Mohammed not kissing her at their own wedding. He also apparently refused her advances through the duration of their short but doomed-from-the-start marriage.
One thing is for sure: steam rooms are hot, as you can see by Mohammed helpfully pointing the temperature out. We wouldn't have been able to figure that out without him. Thanks a lot, Mohammed.
7 Hes Gone Too Far
It's not hard to go too far on social media, people still manage to do it all the time. It only takes one risky picture that dives too far into the dark corners of a person's life that should never be exposed to make it weird for everyone.
Well, Mohammed is apparently quite a pro at that, considering his nose hair removal post above.
Who is that meant for and why would anyone ever want to see that? This is not the way that you pick up wife material, Mohammed.
If a mate will stick around for your nose hair removal, that's one thing-- the relationship is established, they should be accepting you for who you are.
However, if you're picking up people based on your nose hair removal posts, you might want to check what kind of pond you're throwing your line into.
Whatever you want to do behind closed doors is one thing, but stop broadcasting it to the world-- no one wants to see your baby, no one cares about your dog, and certainly no one cares about your nose hair removal process.
Keep it to yourself, man.
6 Molly Does Know This Is Permanent, Right?
There are extremes when it comes to bad tattoos-- "regrets" spelled wrong, awfully deformed portraits of loved ones, and whatever Molly decides to get next.
Mother Theresa was a saint, but why would you get her inked on your shoulder?
She doesn't deserve to be cut into your skin, she should just be remembered as the amazing person who she was. We understand the thought behind it-- everyone should be a bit more like Mother Theresa.
However, no matter how many living saints you get tattooed on your body, it doesn't change the fact that your house is decked out in owls and you still don't have any crucifixes hung up anywhere.
You know, if you hang up crucifixes, Luis might come back, and he has cornrows now, so you should probably stay away from that.
This is probably just to start boosting her music career cred-- more tattoos takes away from the lack of talent and diverts the eyes away from the floundering act on stage.
Either way, good for you Molly, get whatever tattoo you want. However, we won't be surprised when you get Mother Theresa covered up by a bunch of owls staring lifelessly out of your back.
5 Anything To Stay Relevant
Every 90 Day Fiancé fan knows Evelyn-- she's the want to be star trapped in the smallest town in the world, where she has trapped her new husband, David.
However, that's not David in the picture above, that's her brother who is apparently a black belt in karate.
Yes, she posted a picture from her wedding to congratulate her brother for becoming a black belt in karate. Why not just put a picture of him up, or why not post a picture of you two that is not your wedding?
Oh, we know why, because her music and reality TV careers are burning out like the dying sun of a distant planet.
It's sad really, but that is what you can expect when your singing voice sounds like you're wheezing through a kazoo on every third word.
Also, where is David's post also wishing her brother congratulations on being a black belt? He should probably say a little something, because Evelyn's brother will definitely start to whoop his butt if he tries to break the band up again.
We would also like to congratulate Evelyn's brother on becoming a black belt, now chop us up some of the best apples in the world before we get there for your sister's concert.
4 A Halloween Costume That's A Bit Too On The Nose
Considering Paul's history with the law, this Halloween costume seems to be a bit too literal for our liking-- especially because Carine didn't even know about Paul's rocky past with arson and restraining order charges before he told her and waddled off into the jungle like a penguin.
Not to take away from the fact that she looks lovely, way out of his league, but that's what happens when you travel out of the country for to go hunting for a partner.
Seriously, why did she ever get back together with him, especially after he made her take a blood test?
The proposal that Paul pulled out of his butt at the last moment was also awful.
However, she did, and she has been posting pictures of her and Paul, apparently of her own free will. You can never tell, though, as Paul is definitely a masterful manipulator.
He convinced the airline to let him bring six body sized storage containers out of the country to meet a woman he didn't know, so we're guessing he's pretty good at talking to people.
Either that, or people are just so creeped out by him that they let him go and don't ask any questions.
3 Poor Paul
Oh Paul, we knew-- everyone knew as soon as you showed up on the screen for the first time that you'd be trouble.
Carine really couldn't see it for some reason, even though Paul panics about feces water and mosquitoes pretty much constantly when he should be paying attention to her.
Paul was taken in due to complaints from his ex-wife due to a supposed arson charge and breaching a restraining order.
Does it surprise you that Paul has a restraining order against him? It shouldn't.
Considering Paul's obnoxious and bizarre behavior when it comes to dealing with Carine and virtually anyone else in the world, it doesn't seem like much of a surprise that he has a restraining order against him from an ex-wife.
We're guessing that this isn't going to be the last time that Paul violates a restraining order, with him and Carine still being together for the time at least.
You would figure that since Paul is a bit shady, he'd be able to slither away when the cops come knocking, but the main runs like a pigeon after hot dog scraps on the New York city sidewalk.
2 Josh Is Not Having His Finest Hour Either
Josh always seemed like such a nice guy. However, apparently he's such a nice guy that he has a rap sheet as long as a CVS receipt, which includes a DUI and assault charges.
No wonder Josh's parents were a little cautious when they were vetting Aika-- they realized that Josh hasn't been the cleanest dude in the past, and probably won't be in the future.
Although, if anything happened, it seems like Aika is definitely fiery enough to hold her own ground.
In fact, we'd be pretty scared of her, even if we had a rap sheet like Josh's; if you watched the show, you remember the coffee shop, and Josh's oddly clingy friend. The girl doesn't take crap and she never will.
In light of all these lovely disorders coming to light, we're excited that Josh and Aika are reportedly filming with TLC again, most likely for the next season of 90 Day Fiancé.
However, could you imagine if they got their own show? It would be madness, especially when you consider the fact the coffee shop scene was an hour and a half long.
We know that the chances of that happening are mighty slim, but we can dream dang it, we can dream.
1 That's An Odd Place To Take A Nap
With all of the rumors of Chantel having work done to her face and past work done to her body, it seems odd that she would use a #nautralbody tag for a picture of her in a wet dress.
It's also odd that she'd use a #lake tag when that is most certainly a creek.
Come on, your brother's name is River-- you should know your bodies of water at this point.
Regardless, the picture is odd to begin with. Was this actually a scheduled photo shoot, or did she just lay down and make a passing hiker take pictures of her laying down in the water?
Also, if it was a scheduled shoot, why would you pick this location, pose, and outfit? We're not one to judge photo shoots of the reality show stars of yesteryear (who are we kidding, we totally are), and this one seems especially heinous.
Where is Pedro? Where is the family Chantel? Where is anyone to tell her that she shouldn't be laying in the water with all the bacteria and microbes that could potentially be getting on you or in your mouth?
Why isn't Paul around to tell you about the dangers of feces water?
Are there any other pictures of the cast of 90 Day Fiancé that we need to see? Sound off in the comments!