When The Hulk is hungry, he needs more than a Snickers. His appetite knows no bounds, and though his rage mode is highly dangerous, a hungry Hulk is scariest of all – you wouldn’t like him when he’s hangry. When he’s in a state of tranquility, Bruce Banner eats like the rest of us, but when he gets green and mean, no one is safe.
This begs the question: through all of the Hulk’s film adaptations, why is it that we’ve rarely seen him indulge? You’d think the green machine would have a well-known diet that fuels his smashing and crashing. We here at Screenrant have taken it upon ourselves to end the questioning and the mystery to set forth the buffet of foodstuffs The Hulk has consumed throughout his many lives. As a word of warning, we suggest reading these findings before or after a meal – just not during.
Here are 9 Things (And At Least 6 People) The Hulk Has Eaten.
15. Silver Surfer’s Head
For all of The Hulk apologist’s out there, let us first declare that this story is of Zombie Hulk doing undead things. Earth-2149 imagines a world where a disease has turned our favorite superheroes into cannibalistic monsters. As expected, the Hulk’s appetite and his penchant for anger become amplified, turning him into an over-sized food processor. With Galactus en route to command this apocalyptic earth, the Silver Surfer proclaims his imminent arrival. Unfortunately, his audience was really hungry and ready to feed.
Though he has previously been considered unbeatable, the Silver Surfer should have quit while he had a head. Indeed, the Hulk’s appetite and anger flared up and culminated in him biting off Silver Surfer’s noggin. Though the Hulk didn’t eat the head all by himself (it became a shared meal between zombie Spider-Man, Iron Man and Giant Man), he committed one of the most unexpected beheadings in comic book lore. Don’t expect to see this scene in The Avengers: Infinity War.
14. A Turkey Leg
Given the Comic Con Doctor Strange excitement, it must be said that the Sorcerer Supreme has observed one of the Hulk’s rare meals. With Dr. Strange’s sidekick looking on, Hulk confidently chomped down on one of Wong’s kitchen confections. For all intents and purposes, Jade Jaws appears to have enjoyed the turkey leg, though it was the last thing he did before vanishing in the subsequent comic panels (Dr. Strange, we’re looking at you).
Giving credit where it’s due, the Hulk appears fairly well-mannered in this panel (considering his bestial nature). He could certainly use a napkin or two, but that’s a conversation for a later date. In subsequent panels, Hulk has dined on chicken with such gusto that he took no time to separate the flesh from bone. As you’re about to find out, however, that offense has nothing on the far more significant victims of Hulk’s voracious appetite.
13. A Magneto Leg
Zombie Hulk treated the pantheon of Marvel superheroes like a salad bar. On more than one occasion, he chomped through as much comic book character flesh as inhumanly possible. Among his worst offenses, the Hulk once consumed most of Magneto, swallowing the mutant’s leg in a single bite. In Marvel Zombies #1, the Hulk takes part in a full page spread of this detailed Magneto meal, complete with rib cage destruction, intestinal pulling, the gnashing of teeth and more brutality.
Considering Marvel Zombies hails from the twisted mind of The Walking Dead creator, Robert Kirkman, these moments shouldn’t be terribly surprising. Regardless, they showcase the Hulk in his most primitive form yet. Later, however, the Hulk has to pay a high metabolic price. Justice is served when Magneto’s undigested limb causes Hulk’s stomach to rupture. Though initially disgusted by the mess, the Hulk regains his composure and swallows the regurgitated remains of the erstwhile X-Man.
It’s true, the Hulk has gotten smashed. In Indestructible Hulk #7.1, our titular hero gets absolutely tanked after his identity has been separated from the recently dead Bruce Banner. The Hulk is set free from his mortal bonds until he turns to the drink, has a few cocktails too many, and then elects to recklessly parade through the Savage Land. There, he goes searching for mystery treasure, rides bareback on various dinosaurs, and causes utter destruction to the prehistoric place until Red She-Hulk shows up with a bone to pick. The Hulk gets into a massive fight with his lady love, but it all ends with an outdoor dalliance where the two “hulk” together. After their torrid affair and the booze wore off, Hulk miraculously turned back into Bruce Banner. Some may suggest the Hulk should quit drinking, but in this particular story, it seems a bit of the good medicine worked out fairly well for the Jade Giant.
11. Baked Beans
Finally, the Hulk shows he can have a more sensible food craving. In classic all-American style, he has acquired a reliable taste for baked beans. In fact, the Hulk loves the food so intensely that when a fisherman offered him some seafood, the Hulk lost his mind. It’s baked beans or nothing for the green beast, but as he’s learned over the years, eating straight from the source is the way to go. Hulk has tried to use forks, but the utensils seldom survive his ferocious bites. That’s why he prefers downing them right from the pot, whenever it’s socially appropriate to do so, of course. During the early days of the character, the Hulk was often portrayed as a relative simpleton, and his love for beans was conveyed to be the ideal food for a character with more carnal motivations than cranial activity. Whatever the case may be, everybody wins so long as the Hulk chooses beans over people.
10. Innocent People
Manhattan is the world’s biggest open air prison. When disaster strikes, as happened in I Am Legend, the massive New York island is among the worst places to be, leaving individuals trapped in the concrete jungle. Like a dog on the loose, Zombie Hulk took advantage of the constipated Manhattan streets and laid waste to countless people. His grab-kill-eat rampage was so vicious that it provoked panicked visitors from the lower borough to derisively comment, “$#@% like this never happens in Brooklyn!” Then again, that’s probably how the residents of Bushwick would handle such an event.
Imagine if The Avengers went whole hog with cannibal hulk stomping through Manhattan, having lost all semblance of Bruce Banner and his potential for peace. That would be a truly horrific Hulk, the kind of profile Guillermo Del Toro would shape in an Ultimate Hulk feature with a hard-R rating. Marvel Studios, take note.
While the Hulk decapitated the Silver Surfer, he and another Fantastic Four member, The Thing, were once buddies. If only for a fleeting moment, the monstrous men bonded on a mountain made of hamburgers. Like they were manna from Heaven, Hulk crushed the meaty food without a care in the world. Unfortunately, the Hulk literally traded the possibility of saving the planet from hunger, disease and war to satiate his boundless appetite.
While on Matriculon with The Thing, Stamben Malelet granted the rock man and Hulk two wishes. The Thing first hoped they could be released from their physical curses, planning to use his second wish to bring about world peace. The Hulk, on the other hand, instead that he be transported home and given food to eat. Therefore, the burgers and ketchup he enjoyed were the most morally expensive Happy Meals in the history of the world. No wonder, then, that The Thing later dropped a massive boulder on the Hulk’s thick head.
8. Elloe Kaifi
She’s not a household name, but Elloe Kaifi is like Russell Crowe’s Maximus of the Marvel world. She’s a hardened warrior, a gladiator out of necessity, and an ally of the Hulk. While seeking vengeance for her green friend, Elloe actually beat Spider-Man on her own accord. Though she is relatively new to the Marvel universe, Elloe Kaifi is still a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, for all of her efforts alongside the Hulk, Elloe ran into a few issues when Marvel Zombies Returns hit comic book stands.
Though she was safe for much of the series, the Hulk finally snapped in the 4th issue. After successfully defeating the Immortals and Giant Man, both of whom had been turned by the zombie disease, the Hulk stood on the moon next to Elloe, his trusted sidekick. While surveying the damage, however, he realized he had been bitten by one of his zombie enemies, and he immediately grabbed Elloe, split her in half and then ate her.
Ripping Wolverine in half is brutal enough (as the Hulk has done), but eating the beloved X-Men member is a bridge too far. In Giant Size Wolverine: Old Man Logan, after his family is killed by the Hulk’s illegitimate offspring, Wolverine sets out on a revenge mission to slay the progeny of Bruce Banner. When he finished slicing up the Hulk’s children, Old Man Logan finally got to the Jade Giant and stabbed him with his adamantium claws. Though it seemed the graying Wolverine had finally returned to form, the Hulk simply stared at him and licked his chops. The next place Wolverine found himself was at the bottom of the Hulk’s belly, broken, bloodied and all-but dead. Despite the grisliness of the story, there was a happy ending to be salvaged. Though akin to an Alien chestburster, Wolverine regenerated inside Hulk’s abdomen and cut his way out of the green machine’s innards. It’s a truly hideous moment in the long history of the Hulk and Wolverine.
6. Herr Kleiser
Though he started as an esteemed member of the Chitauri, a race of shape-shifting aliens, Herr Kleiser earned his name from eating a Nazi official of the same name. As a two-for-one package deal, Kleiser took both the body and its identity. He then helped guide the Nazis on behalf of his alien network to eliminate free will on earth. Though he and the Nazis made some progress, Kleiser’s earlier sins were revisited upon himself when the Hulk came to town. Captain America was locked in a fierce battle with Kleiser, and though the first Avenger successfully spliced him in half, he was forced to use the Hulk to finish the job. To make Bruce Banner turn green, Steve Rogers quickly told him that Kleiser had fooled around with Banner’s girlfriend, Betty Ross. In an instant, Banner went from Bruce to Berserker, smashing Kleiser into the dirt, ripping him into pieces, and eating what was left of him.
This may be the only moment Mr. Jade Giant used his chompers with a degree of intelligence. After being pursued by General Thunderbolt Ross (father of Betty and played by actor Sam Elliott), Hulk (Eric Bana) catches a heat-seeking missile and bounds through a canyon with it for several hundred yards. As the flare burns out, Hulk stops, bites off the warhead, and spits it out towards an attack helicopter. His aim is perfect, exploding the chopper’s tale and sending it plummeting to the ground. Sure, it’s quite a feat that the weapon didn’t explode the moment his teeth punctured the metal, but that’s a conversation for another day. And though he didn’t exactly swallow the missile, or make it the main course after some Baked Beans appetizers, Hulk gets style points for battling back against the U.S. Army. As you’ll see in a moment, however, that missile wasn’t the impressive munition to see the Hulk’s soft palette.
4. Hostess Fruit Pies
“You get a big delight from every bite of Hostess fruit pies.” Though the Hulk of yesteryear could hardly string a sentence like that together, this was the compelling advertisement used by Hostess Fruit Pies. While they were targeted at voracious young comic book readers with equally fast appetites, Hostess Fruit Pies were promoted as the Hulk’s snack of choice. This was the “Hungry? Grab a Snickers” advertisement for the 1970’s and 1980’s, smartly incorporating the Hulk’s sweet tooth at the heart of the campaign. Hulk didn’t just eat the fruit pies at random, he earned them after saving the day in a comic panel built specifically to sell the product. While Hulk wished humans were “as nice as Hostess Fruit Pies,” the thwarted villains in the panels would sometimes take a moment before heading to prison and exclaim, “I love the light, tender crust and the real fruit filling.” Today, that advertisement would probably read: “Hostess fruit pies. So good they make felons feel free!”
If you can’t beat them, join them. Eric O’Grady (the fourth man to take up the Ant-Man mantel) took this saying quite literally when he decided to enter the Hulk’s stomach. Though Jade Jaws might not have exactly eaten Ant-Man, the world’s smallest superhero still spent some quality time in his large intestine. Call it Jonah and the Whale of the Marvel order. This episode occurs when the Hulk lays waste to the Big Apple yet again, and though Eric has no interest in fighting on the front lines, he take a more internal approach to combat.
Unfortunately, the Hulk’s insides prove nearly as invulnerable as his exterior, making Ant-Man’s minuscule efforts useless. After provoking an itch or some kind of irritation while in Hulk’s bowels, Ant-Man is propelled out of the green machine’s stomach via the nasal cavity. This may have been the best outcome for Eric O’Grady, who would surely have regretted being on the inside of the Hulk when his oversized digestive system began moving.
We all remember the suicide scare Bruce Banner encountered pre-Avengers. “I didn’t see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth…and the other guy spit it out!” Indeed, through his many iterations, the Hulk has come under heavy fire from a variety of guns, tanks and aircraft. Most impressive of all, however, was the time he survived a grenade that Deadpool shoved down his gullet. As the story goes, the “Merc with a Mouth” sprang onto a greatly enraged Hulk, pulled the pin on a flash grenade, and jammed it right into his kisser. “Who wants snacks? You do!” Deadpool won the argument, if only for it a moment. Though the grenade emitted quite the blast radius, the Hulk was made even angrier than before, so much that Wolverine essentially fled the fight and left Deadpool on defense. That’s what you get for feeding an explosive device to the world’s angriest man.
As the “Devourer of Worlds,” Galactus makes meals, but he never becomes them. Until Zombie Hulk stomps around, that is. Though Galactus has been nearly indomitable, he finally succumbs to the expansive appetite of the Hulk in Marvel Zombies. For the record, the Hulk didn’t just defeat Galactus, or humble him with a quick Hulk Smash to the head. He ate him for dinner, completely upending the rich history of Galactus’ allegedly unbeatable powers. As a result, he assumed the intergalactic strength of Galactus and inherited the ability to travel through space on his own accord. All manner of earthy, liquid and gaseous planets are now on the menu for the Hulk, contributing to his ever-burgeoning size. In this state, the Hulk’s hunger makes him into a portable solar system, more dangerous than Galactus could have ever hoped to be. Moral of the story? Zombie Hulk is not to be trifled with.
What (and who) else has been on Hulk’s menu? Tell us in the comments below!
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