We all know Steven Hyde as the damaged, bad boy from That '70s Show. Hyde may have personal issues in his past, but boy oh boy is he hilarious. Not only is he blunt and often times pessimistic, he continuously delivers amazing one-liners that are especially perfect for those who enjoy dark humor.
The rest of the gang can always count on Hyde to tell it like it is no matter how awkward the situation may be. Along with his undeniably cool demeanor, Hyde has given audiences some of the best quotes of the show. We've expanded on our list to include 5 more popular quotes from Hyde, for a total of 15. There's a bunch more, but each of these represents Hyde at his absolute best...or is that worst?
Updated on June 22, 2020 by Derek Draven: As mentioned in our updated intro, we've added 5 more quotes from Hyde to expand on our list. Whether you're still watching this show via re-runs, or you've never seen a single episode, these quotes are sure to get you acquainted with the true bad boy of That 70's Show.
"Punk is the nihilistic outcry against the corporate Rock N' Roll takeover! It's the soundtrack to the revolution, man!"
Hyde frequently chimed in on the topic of music, but his views weren't exactly known for their foresight. This quote about punk music starts off apt enough, but the reality failed to live up to the agenda.
In the end, punk music temporarily self-destructed between 1980-84, thanks in part to its own clashing viewpoints on what the style was supposed to look and sound like. Rock would burn up the charts during the 1980s, only to fall by the wayside in the early 90s as grunge emerged, giving punk a second shot at life.
"Don't put me in your fantasies. I don't even like being in your real life."
Hyde's misanthropy knew no bounds, even if he did love hanging out with his buddies. Still, one can only imagine what it would have been like to deal with such a miserable person day in, day out.
This quote sums up Hyde's general attitude when it comes to those he doesn't respect. Needless to say, it doesn't leave much room for error.
"I don't love people. I love Camaros, Zeppelin, and French Fries - in that order!"
Another example of Hyde's misanthropy and generalized societal angst crops up here, in typical teenaged form. While the concept of hating people seems to have come naturally to Hyde, he certainly liked what they had to offer.
To be fair, his favorite combination of Camaros, Led Zeppelin, and French Fries isn't the worst, especially if you grew up in the 70s!
"It's not the devil, man! It's congress! They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They want to kill Rock N' Roll because they know it makes us horny, man!"
Young people tend to fall head over heels for any conspiracy theory that comes their way, in an attempt to feel as if they have the scoop on what it means to live in the real world. This quote parallels what a lot of people were thinking back in the 70s, including parental groups.
While the authenticity and legitimacy of backmasked messages in popular music remains extremely dubious, there have been deliberate attempts to place them in songs as a joke, or for musical effect. Backmasking would help trigger a wave of 1980s Satanic paranoia among the public, which would take years to nullify.
"Disco is from Hell, okay? And not the cool part of Hell with all the murderers, but the lame-ass part with the accountants!"
Disco is routinely frowned upon, but it's a guarantee that most people tap their foot to the style when nobody is looking. Obviously, Hyde doesn't count. He means what he says in this quote, even if he goes farther than he needs to.
Why Hyde would want to go to Hell in the first place remains a mystery, but he certainly wouldn't fit well in Heaven. It's hard to figure out which is worse, though - Hyde thinking murderers are cool, or thinking accountants deserve a one-way trip downstairs.
"I'm telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man!"
Nothing quite compared to those scenes in Eric Foreman's basement, and this moment is no different. Though fans could call Steven Hyde a little cold at times, he usually had the very best intentions. Who doesn't love a man who is environmentally aware/suspicious?
"You jerk! How am I supposed to yell at you now?"
Hyde is no stranger to parental problems. Both his mother and father left him to be self-sufficient after their divorce, leaving Hyde to put up a strong wall of armor to protect his heart.
When his father ultimately apologized and owned up to being a jerk of a father, Hyde was frustrated to say the least. Nothing is worse than when the person you are angry at, doesn't give you the chance to really get angry!
"We got to watch you fall, man. I had a blast!"
Though he may be a soft guy at heart Hyde is typically the most indelicate guy in the room, ready to laugh at all other character's shortcomings. Let's be honest, nobody can really help but laugh when our friends get a little clumsy and Hyde is no different.
Whether it's Kelso being the klutz he naturally is, or Fez saying something so completely unrelated to the topic at hand, Hyde has no qualms about receiving joy from the 'not-so-great' moments of his friends.
"Fez, I don't know why you are smiling, but I promise you won't be."
What is better than laughing when your friends are down on their luck? Answer: Threatening them when they rope you into said bad luck.
Poor Fez was always getting the rest of his friends into his antics, mostly because he was confused about 99% of the time. But if there was anyone who had the smallest amount of patience for him, it was Steven Hyde.
"This is definitely gooder."
When Hyde isn't deeply analyzing the dark secrets of the world, or making fun of the various members of his friend group, he says things like, "This is definitely gooder."
He never passed up a moment to voice his opinion, especially while under the influence in Eric Foreman's basement. Typically Hyde is either extremely profound in his thoughts, or he says things like...well this.
"You know what your problem is? You're really cute, so no one ever told you to shut your pie hole."
Hyde and Jackie are still one of the best couples that nobody saw coming. Jackie is super into her looks, money, and is a self-labeled drama queen. Hyde is the rough around the edges guy with a quirky sense of humor and a troubled past. However, what they do share is a mutual love for speaking their mind.
Neither one of them has trouble stating their opinion outright, whether it is at the group or each other. Part of what made their relationship work so well is because they weren't afraid to communicate any problems at hand...even if that communication included a fair amount of yelling.
"I don't answer stupid questions."
Hyde is a no-nonsense type of guy who is not in the market for roundabout stories or questions. Basically... he just wishes everyone would get to the point.
This makes total sense considering he lives with best friend Eric Foreman, who cannot wrap up a story to save his life, and Eric's mom Kitty who has the ability to ask a million questions that nobody wants to answer.
"The three true branches of the government are - military, corporate, and Hollywood."
Nothing feels more relevant than this quote. From the '70s to now, Hollywood royalty has had a huge influence in how our country is run, whether citizens realize it now.
Today, especially with the overwhelming multitudes of social media platforms, celebrities have more power than ever to speak up on political issues in our nation. America in 2019 is dying to hear what the likes of Taylor Swift and Chris Evans have to say of our political climate. Hyde was truly ahead of his time!
"If I like her, shoot me."
The beginning of relationships are weird, and it is no different for Hyde and Jackie. Jackie was always attached to Kelso, and Hyde is not portrayed as the conventional boyfriend type. However, each time Kelso is awful toward Jackie, Hyde was there for her.
He is insistent that the couple need to break up because he thinks Jackie was "the worst," but he also hated how she is being treated by a cheating Kelso. When he finally admits that he has feelings for Jackie that go beyond friendship, he can barely believe it himself.
"Hey, if God didn't want me to wear this shirt so much, he wouldn't have made them rock so hard."
Nobody in this world can argue with the fact that Led Zepplin "rocks so hard". Hyde's wardrobe is never anything more than a simple band t-shirt, jeans, and some sunglasses.
And while his outfits may not be overly extravagant, they are stylish nonetheless. Everyone can also relate with wearing the same couple outfits on rotation. Another quote to prove that Steven Hyde is truly just like the rest of us!