Monster type: Succubus
Positive Trait: You'll never have to worry about serving her food that's "too hot."
Negative Trait: A pool is the last place you'll want to be with her.
Acceptability of Monster Form: High
Chances of Survival: Medium*
Megan Fox's looks, Diablo Cody's voice, and a creamy nugget succubus interior – If the first two don't kill you, the last surely will.
"But I like pop culture references and sloppy narratives coming from a beautiful woman" – No, you don’t, Shia Labeouf… remember Transformers 3? You upgraded, buddy!
Your new woman called Megatron a "bitch" – to his face! …Optimus Prime wouldn't even do that.
*you'll definitely need some backup - preferably female