15He “Accidentally” Did Drugs

Captain America Drug Meth Addiction

Captain America wakes up one day and has a mind-blowing revelation -- drugs are bad. You see, while the rest of the country's been tirelessly battling a narcotic epidemic over the past 100 years, the nation's staunchest protector has oddly turned a blind eye. Maybe it has something to do with the fact he owes

his superpowers to synthetically enhanced drugs. Maybe he's just been too busy punching Hitler in the face. Either way, that all comes to a crashing halt in Captain America #372-378's when Steve Rogers enforces his own personal war on drugs by getting high as a star-spangled kite.

On the first stop of his heroic anti-drug tour, Cap gets blown up in a meth lab. He immediately forms a methamphetamine addiction, turns into a drug-crazed maniac, and grows a scruffy beard (as addicts are wont to do). Because the drug bonds to the super soldier serum in his blood, Rogers also becomes stronger than ever and embarks on a half-baked trippy adventure beating the crap out of Daredevil, eating all of Kingpin's spaghetti, and spontaneously clucking like a chicken. After going through an Avenger intervention and nasty withdrawal, Captan America decides he'll just say no to fighting drugs in the future and go back to doing what he does best -- cold clocking Nazis.

Moral of the Story: there's no better way to deter youth from doing drugs than by showing how powerful and hilarious Captain America is when he's on them.

Captain America Benjamin Franklin Flag
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