The Real Housewives franchise is known for its gorgeous women, stunning fashion, and diva antics, so it's not surprising that many of the ladies fancy themselves as pop stars. At the end of the day, musical talent is nothing compared to money, and, if you have the cash, it's easy to make the jump to musical stardom. Almost every city in the franchise has featured at least one housewife pursuing a music career, to largely mixed results.
Some ladies have achieved great success: recording albums, releasing music videos, and even charting on the Billboard charts. Alas, some of the other ladies haven't found as much success. For better or for worse, many of these songs have become iconic moments in the franchise's history, so let's rank them from flop to bop.
"Coffee and Love" (2018) - Ashley Darby
Ashley Darby is a really sweet lady, but this tropical pop anthem is wrong in so many ways. The Potomac OG released her debut single during the show's third season, and it's just as messy as her pot-stirring. Initially, the song sounds like a tropical version of Rebecca Black's "Friday" before morphing into something even more chaotic.
Ashley is joined by her brother Cazanova, who stumbles out a rap before the song drops into a tropical squeal. Both Ashley and Cazanova have way too many lyrics than they had time for, and it feels very questionable that Cazanova is paying tribute to the intimate relationship between his sister and her husband. There's a lot happening at once, and it's definitely a bold choice for Ashley to profess her love for a man who is constantly drowning in controversy.
"Gone With The Wind Fabulous" (2012) - Kenya Moore
It's hard to truly hate on a song that intentionally veers into parody. RHOA's Kenya Moore made a big splash when she debuted in the show's fifth season. Her infamous feud with Porsha Williams exploded on the Anguilla trip, where Kenya proclaimed that she was "gone with the wind fabulous" before twirling off into the night.
Kenya really didn't reinvent the wheel with this one, as these kinds of club remixes are dime-a-dozen—but, if you're a Kenya fan, there's still a lot to love. Anyone who stans Porsha might struggle, however, as it's a Kenya vanity project through and through. It would be remiss not to mention the music video, which is practically a five-minute short film. Featuring Kenya dressed as Beyonce, acapella choir singers, and a Shangela cameo, it's got one hell of a convoluted narrative.
"Real Close" (2010) - Danielle Staub
RHONJ's Danielle Staub released her infamous ode to lesbian love in 2010, much to the surprise of fans. Allegedly Danielle used to be in an RnB band, but no one was expecting her first musical release to be a stripped-back homoerotic ballad.
The song is a duet with queer singer Lori Michaels, and the pair's performance of the song is one for the ages. The ladies seemed to forget that Andy Cohen was even there, trading off smoldering glances before Danielle kissed Lori on the cheek. While Danielle isn't the strongest singer, the song isn't an outright flop.
"I Just Wanna" (2012) - Melissa Gorga
If New Jersey were ever allowed an entry into Eurovision, "I Just Wanna" would be a sure-fire winner. It's campy, loud, and it even comes with a budget Pitbull in the form of Santino Noir.
Melissa Gorga can't sing to save her life, but she sells the hell out of this song. It may be dated, but there's an endearing quality to it. It's reminiscent of a simpler time, where it was easy to rock up to a club in jeans and a cute top and dance the night away.
"Fly Above" (2010) - Kandi Burruss
Kandi Burruss is an actual pop superstar. The Atlanta mainstay wrote TLC's classic 90s hit "No Scrubs" and had her own hit song "Don't Think I'm Not." But, when it comes to her music since becoming a Housewife, she hasn't had quite as much success.
Still, "Fly Above," which was released during the second season of RHOA, is a serviceable bop. Kandi's voice is great, and her soulful tones bring a lot of heart and charisma to the song. The lyrics are a little cringy; even the coolest Housewife can't pull off singing about "haters" and "being fly." That being said, Kandi is a master of the melody, and she even pulls off some crazily impressive whistle tones
"Flatline" (2014) - Porsha Williams
In the aftermath of her divorce from Kordell Stewart, RHOA's Porsha Williams released the emotional ballad "Flatline." While it kind of sounds like any noughties RnB ballad, that doesn't mean it's a flop.
"Flatline" works because it comes from a really genuine place. While some of the other ladies have veered towards camp club bangers, Porsha's song is extremely personal, and the music reflects that. It has a good hook, her vocals are solid, and it's very professionally made. It might be a little boring on repreat listens, but, as an emotional response to her divorce, it's hard not to get invested in Porsha's story.
"Can't Wait To Grow Up" (2019) - Milania Giudice
Although technically not a housewife, this bop from the daughter of RHONJ OG Teresa Giudice was too good not to include. A summer anthem about being young and living in the moment, Milania's sing-talk vocals actually work against the bouncy electronic instrumental.
The song was produced by Fetty Wap's producer Nitt the Gritt, and fans might remember when Fetty Wap surprised Milania at her listening party in season nine. Milania even released a remix featuring Fetty Wap, though it's not worth a listen. "Can't Wait To Grow Up" is an impressively fun bop that would put Kesha to shame.
"Xxpen$ive" (2017) - Erika Jayne
While it's hard to listen to Erika Jayne's music without thinking about the "widows and orphans" who were allegedly defrauded, potentially funding her pop career, Erika Jayne does have an impressive discography. Putting aside her legal troubles, the Beverly Hills star has found great success, including 9 number-one singles on the U.S. Dance Club chart.
Her 2017 single "Xxpen$ive" is a sassy, punchy bop. The video has choreography, splits, and looks to die for. Erika fully embraces her confident sex-positive persona, and it's exhilarating to watch.
"Tardy For The Party" (2009) - Kim Zolciak
The song that sunk a thousand friendships, "Tardy For The Party" still sounds just as good over a decade later. In season two of RHOA Kim Zolciak kicked off her burgeoning singing career and enlisted Kandi to help write and produce a song for her. Unsurprisingly, drama ensued.
Kim asked Nene Leakes to join her on the song, and then immediately kicked her off the song. Then, after the song's release, Kim refused to pay Kandi royalties, which eventually resulted in Kandi filing a lawsuit against Kim for the royalties. Despite all these shenanigans, Kandi did a stellar job making Kim sound like a real singer.
Countess Luann's Entire Discography (2010-present) - Luann de Lesseps
In her decade of Housewives pop music, RHONY's Luann de Lesseps hasn't released a single flop. She has so many iconic songs that any of them could have taken the top spot, so it's worth running down every single one. Her debut single "Money Can't Buy You Class" is a fantastic disco romp. Sure, it may be slightly classist, but how could you expect anything less from someone called The Countess. Her follow up single, "Chic C'est La Vie," exceeded expectations and featured more butchered french than an episode of Emily In Paris.
"Girl Code" is Luann's most underrated song, with a relentlessly funky bassline that wouldn't sound out of place on Dua Lipa's "Future Nostalgia." The infamous "Feelin' Jovani" deserves to be played at New York Fashion Week, with or without Dorinda Medley heckling in the corner. Finally "Viva La Diva" is the Donna Summer comeback fans have been waiting for. Call it delusion, call it je ne sais quoi, but Luann just oozes charisma.