What would Simon say?

Published 10 years ago by

I thought it would be fun to start a thread on what American Idol judge Simon Cowell would most likely say to some of the musical stars we’ve come to know and love (or not) if they tried out for the show.

Here goes… feel free to add your own.

Whitney Houston: “You have a good singing voice, but you can’t dance. Plus, if I’m being honest, you look a bit frumpy, and the kind of star we’re looking for will have the right combination of talent and image. You have talent, but the image isn’t quite there.”

Bono (lead singer of U2): “Terrible. Abysmal. You sound like a goose getting strangled. If I were to put you through to the next round, the music industry would implode.”

Mick Jagger: “You shout all your songs, and you don’t have much in the looks department. There is nothing about you that says ‘Idol’ to me.”

Prince: “Your singing skills are good when you’re not screaming your lungs out. If I’m being honest, you look a little weird; your image needs work.”

Michael Jackson: “You sing everything too high, and don’t even get me started on your image. You look like Joan Crawford two years after the funeral. If I put you through to the next round, Fox will go out of business in a week.”

Sean “Puffy” Combs: “That was one of the worst auditions I have ever had to sit through. You can’t sing, you can’t dance. We’re looking for the best, and if you think you’re even close to that league, you’re delusional.”

Aretha Franklin: “You have a great singing voice, but if you really want to make it in this business, you need to lose a few pounds.”

Britney Spears: “Fantastic. Superb. You are the American Idol. You are a star.”

TAGS: american idol

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