We have already shown all the ways Superman could easily kill Batman, so why not give the Dark Knight a chance to return the favor? He is the world’s greatest detective after all, and we’re pretty sure he would come up with some ridiculously creative and twisted methods for ending the seemingly unbeatable Last Son of Krypton. Whether they would all be effective or not is a different story. But if Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice has taught us anything, it’s that given enough prep time, tire hitting/pulling, and a long enough montage, anyone can hold their own against the Man of Steel. So let’s see what would happen if Superman had not pulled the ‘M’ card, and Bats had finished him with a pointy eared fatality.
Before we breakdown the violent possibilities, let’s properly set the stage by doing a quick recap: one is basically a god with endless strength, the power to fly faster than a speeding bullet, and the ability to shoot rainbows out of his fingers. The other is the “goddamn Batman.” Obviously it goes without saying that this is a lopsided fight…. in the Caped Crusader’s favor.
Here are 15 Ways Batman Could EASILY Kill Superman.
15. Kryptonite Bullets
How do you stop an overpowered, indestructible alien flying around in his underwear? A pocket full of McGuffin space rock, of course. A Kryptonite Gun might seem at odds with Batman’s famous no-gun policy, but he’s no stranger to killing people with a firearm or two.
There’s even precedence from the short comic The Trust by Alex Ross when he takes out a berserk Superman being controlled by Brainiac with a Kryptonite bullet the Man of Steel himself had given his longtime ally. Bruce ultimately ended up removing the bullet and saving Supes, but he could just as easily chosen not to. Friend or not, we’re pretty sure we wouldn’t serve up the single best way to kill us on a silver platter to someone as unpredictably crazy as Batman.
14. Wait for Him to Use a Solar Flare
Perhaps Superman’s most powerful and harmful superpower is the one he most recently discovered in 2015’s Superman #38. When pushed to an extreme, and filled with anger, Superman’s heat vision levels up and turns him into a deadly supernova. Known as a Solar Flare, or Super-Flare, the power unleashes all the solar energy contained within his cells into an explosive blast.
Turns out detonating all the energy from his body also turns Superman into a regular everyday weakling for the oddly specific duration of 24-hours. Knowing this the Caped Crusader could force the Man of Steel to use this power and then casually stroll up and shoot him, break his neck, push him off a cliff, sick Bat-Hound on him, make him watch the Green Lantern movie… really, the lethal options are endless.
13. Drive Him Insane
No one, not even the Man of Steel, is above crapping their pants from sheer terror (or getting as high as a super kite). But how do you scare the life out of a guy that can literally see everything coming? A healthy dose of the Scarecrow’s fear toxin, that’s how. While it alone might not kill Supes, it has been proven to be quite effective, like that time in Superman/Batman #38 when we found him crying in a corner after having the bejesus scared out of him thanks to Dr. Jonathan Crane’s meddling.
If Batman were to take a page out of Joker’s playbook from the Injustice: Gods Among Us comic series, he could do some real damage. In those events that led to Superman killing Lois Lane and blowing up Metropolis with a nuclear bomb, Joker sprayed Super with a dose of fear toxin mixed with Kryptonite dust, sending the Man of Steel on one heck of a trip.
12. Enlist Wonder Woman
We’ve gone through all the ways that Wonder Woman is superior to the other two members of DC’s Trinity, so this one should come as no surprise. In 2013’s Justice League #20, Batman shows Superman his secret boxes containing the means to take down every member of the team. Only one is empty, the one intended for Princess Diana. This is because, as Batman says, “she doesn’t have a Kryptonite.”
One of the few things that could kill Superman is Wonder Woman. Her weapons are made of magic and routinely draw his blood. Arguably, she is stronger when her bracelets come off. Thanks to her highly trained fighting skills, she can tactfully take him down, and very often when they go up against one another, she holds back.
11. Send Him to the Phantom Zone
There are more ways to be killed than by just dying. If Batman were to break into the Fortress of Solitude and get his hands on the Phantom Zone projector, he could easily zap Superman to his final resting place. Don’t think the Dark Knight would use such a weapon to get what he wants? Then obviously, you haven’t met Lego Batman.
While technically getting struck with the projector won’t kill someone, it pretty much nullifies their entire livelihood. But Bats wouldn’t even need to use the projector to get the job done. In the Elseword’s tale Superman & Batman: Generations, Kal-El is sentenced to an imprisonment in the Phantom Zone for murder. He is only let out when Batman decrees he should be released on good behavior. In other words, Superman should thank Batman for every free step he takes.
10. Harness a Red Sun
After a lifetime spent tanning beneath Earth’s yellow sun, the Last Son of Krypton has become particularly sensitive to red sunlight. So much so that any exposure to it strips him of his superpowers and renders him defenselessly human. It’s one of Superman’s greatest weaknesses, and Batman knows it. Or rather, Batmankoff does.
In the Elseworld miniseries Superman: Red Son, Kal-El is a Communist and Bruce Wayne a Russian terrorist. When the two meet, ideologies clash and blood is spilled. Using synthetic lights that simulate the rays of Krypton’s native red sun, Batkoff is able to get the upper hand and easily beat the Champion of Russia to a pulp. He then shoves Superman down into a bunker filled with additional red solar lamps, where the drained hero is left to die. It is only thanks to Wonder Woman that Superman eventually breaks free.
9. Put on the Justice Buster
If Frank Miller’s iconic graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns showed us one thing, it’s just how far Batman will go to harm Superman. Particularly with the powerful exoskeleton he created for the sole purpose of beating the crap out of Big Blue. Only problem, a suit like that is more a statement piece than a real threat. That’s where the Justice Buster comes in.
The mechanized Justice Buster armor (aka Fenrir) was created by Batman in case he ever had to take on the entire Justice League in a fight. In 2015’s Batman #36, when Supes gets turned into a smiling lunatic thanks to some Joker Venom, Batman is left with little choice but to put it on. Along with plasma shields that can deflect heat vision and specialized thermal to counteract freeze breath, its knuckles are retrofitted with pods containing microscopic red suns collected from dead solar systems. How Batman achieved this ludicrous feet is beyond us.
8. Guilt Him to Death
The Dark Knight is one conniving son a bat. He loves to play head games, especially with the most resolute of opponents. Combine this with the fact that Superman’s overwhelming sense of responsibility makes him a psychological time bomb, and there is one surefire way to make him the Man of Tomorrow no more. That’s right, we’re talking Batman driving Superman into committing suicide.
Perhaps the best precedent for this is Alan Moore’s Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? where after murdering Mister Mxyzptlk, Supes walks into a room of Gold Kryptonite, strips away all his powers, turns himself into a normal human and, for all intents and purposes, kills off Superman. It’s not hard to imagine a scenario rigged by Batman that would bring Kal-El to a similar state of life-ending guilt.
7. Unleashing Super Sonic Sound
During their epic brawl in The Dark Knight Returns, the aging Caped Crusader whips out a sonic wave gun to stun the Man of Steel and send blood spurting out his nose. Though the attack only momentarily stuns Superman, the more lethal implications are there.
Superman’s dislike of extremely high frequencies shows that he can be just as vulnerable to excruciating acoustics as the rest of us. While a sonic gun blast won’t blow his brains, if powerful enough, it could cause an air embolism in his lungs, incite them to explode, and even stop his heart. Granted, building a sonic weapon of that magnitude would be hard to pull off, and it would most likely kill the rest of the planet, but when he’s determined, nothing will get in the Dark Knight’s way.
6. Kryptonite Gum
When all else fails, spit in their face. You know that’s one thing Superman will never see coming, because it takes a true whack job to invent something as batty as Kryptonite Gum. When Superman gets “joker-ized” during 2015’s Batman #36, the Caped Crusader does his best to keep him at bay with his awesome mechanized armor mentioned above. However Super-Joker finally gets the upper hand in a last ditch effort, and it looks like the Caped Crusader is a goner.
Flying high above the Earth, Superman tears apart Batman’s armor, poised to rip his head off. Luckily, the Dark Knight keeps a pellet of Kryptonite Gum on him at all times. The squirt knocks the super-smiling hero out and sends the two of them plummeting to the ocean below. Just imagine what would happen if he dosed his friend in the goo, or had the entire Justice League start spitting on Superman. A very sticky, minty death, that’s what.
5. Learn Magic
Of all the cool and ridiculous powers endowed upon Big Blue by DC writers, the one they forgot was an ability to protect against a little abracadabra. If Batman spent time hitting the Book of Spells, no doubt he could go all Harry Potter on Superman’s ass and Avada Kedavra him to kingdom come.
Most likely, the only reason why Batman is not already a full fledged Sorcerer Supreme is because he has been too busy focusing his attention elsewhere, like designing lightsabers or sleeping with his Robin’s girlfriends. For those who find the idea of Bats twirling his metaphorical wand absurd, there have been instances such as Batman #284 when he stopped Dr. Tzin Tzin with a mystical scarf he conjured together after about an hour of studying Tibetan mysticism. He’s a fast learner.
4. Enlist Poison Ivy
Let’s face it, Batman’s fists are pretty awesome, but there is only one being truly powerful enough to defeat Superman, and that is Superman. But how do you get someone so righteously transparent that he has no qualms about wearing his underwear on the outside of his clothes to do himself in? Luckily, there’s a rogue for that.
In Batman #611, when Poison Ivy gets some of her mind control spores all up in the Man of Steel, we learn just how easy it to get Superman to do whatever you want when just the right amount of sexy vegetation is applied. If the Caped Crusader were to join forces with one of the greatest members of his rogues gallery, he could probably persuade the Gotham vixen to use her mesmerizing abilities to get Kal-El to kill himself.
3. Skinless Kryptonite
Batman’s predilection to prepare for the worst is the stuff of legend. Especially, his contingency plans for taking out every member of the Justice League “just in case.” In JLA: Tower of Babel, Ra’s al Ghul causes planet-wide chaos after he steals Batman’s plans and uses them to systemically eliminate Bruce’s teammates.
Scarecrow’s fear toxin renders Aquaman aquaphobic. Special nanites cause Martian Manhunter to burst into flames. Green Lantern is hypnotized into using his own power ring to make himself blind. Flash is shot with a specially designed “vibra-bullet.” Nanites implanted in Wonder Woman trap her in a never ending battle. But the Dark Knight’s plans for Superman were the most inventive of all. Batman has developed a synthetic form of Red Kryptonite that turns Supes’ skin transparent. In this state, Kal-El is unable to withstand the sun’s radiation, and he burns alive from the inside. With a long enough exposure, the Man of Steel would eventually drop dead on the spot in the grossest way possible.
Superman is affected by gravity just like the rest of us. Granted, not in the same way, but as a mortal being, he is just as susceptible to the deadly power of universal law, not to mention the cold calculating stare of Neil Degrasse Tyson.
Spaghettification in astrophysics is the vertical stretching and horizontal compression of objects caused by an extreme gravitation force. Supes is comprised of the same matter everything else is in the universe, so his body can be turned into a limp noodle. Sure, there are several examples of a pre-Crisis Superman out racing the gravity of a black hole, but ignoring the ridiculousness of these events, if Batman could temporarily weaken Kal-El and then send him into a black hole. Superman would be disassembled on a molecular level, and we have to imagine that that would be very hard to come back from.
1. Make Him Breath in Space
When trying to kill Superman, the amount of effort you’ll need to put in greatly depends on which era you’re getting your murder on in. Because as any self-respecting Superman aficionado can tell you, not all Supermen are created equal. Case in point: space breathing. There’s a long standing debate whether the Man of Tomorrow can actually “breath” in outer space. Over the years, some writers have found creative work arounds, others have tried to explain it away with pseuodoscience, and the rest ignore the problem altogether.
The most realistic version has Superman holding his breath while flying about the cosmos. This is great news for a bloodlusting Batman, who we just know can figure out a way to keep Supes in space long enough for his lungs to give out while at the same time blocking all access to a yellow sun’s rays. How would he go about this exactly? Who knows; that’s why he’s the Batman, and we’re not.
Do you have any other creative ways for Batman to terminate Superman? Tell us in the comments.
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