7 Ridiculous Toy-Based Movies (That Will Probably Be Made)

Published 4 years ago by , Updated August 6th, 2012 at 5:28 pm,

toy chest operation 7 Ridiculous Toy Based Movies (That Will Probably Be Made)

 

Last summer I beat my body up mentally, physically and emotionally to look into the future and make some predictions of what would be Hollywood’s next latest and greatest movie idea fads. I touched on Clothing, Appliances, School Supplies and even Mundane Everyday Activities to compile a list.  I guess I was painting with too broad a brush though, because I failed to see the onslaught of toys and board games that Hollywood was interested in making into a movie (read: messing up).

We’re entering a strange new world folks, one where a new set of Hollywood executives are in control, and much like me riding a mechanical bull with my shirt off, it ain’t pretty. Someone’s grandmother, mother or aunt was going through little Bobby Studio Exec’s old stuff up in the attic and found some old toys he used to play with. Of course Bobby Studio Exec can’t resist thinking to himself, “Oh man, this would make a great film franchise! I can’t wait to share this with my other Studio Execs on the playground!”

I know what you’re thinking, “Whew, Paul, at least Bobby didn’t mention anything about 3D.” WRONG! From this point onward, all films are assumed to be in 3D unless otherwise stated. Saying a film is going to be in 3D now is like saying it’s going to have sound and will be in color. So would you like to know what is in Bobby Studio Exec’s toy chest? Sure you do – so let’s take a stroll down memory lane before Hollywood ruins it forever.

We’ve already heard there are going to be films based on View Master, Hot Wheels, Monopoly, Battleship, Magic 8-ball, Candyland, and most recently, Erector Set building toys, but what else is in Hollywood’s toy chest? [Just in case you can’t tell, this article is completely fictional and just for fun.]

#7: Pogo Stick – Action/Comedy

pogo stick header 7 Ridiculous Toy Based Movies (That Will Probably Be Made)

Synopsis: John Pogo, a middle class vending machine repairman, is a good guy that never gets into trouble and manages to avoid confrontation by ignoring it. One day, he steps out of his boundaries  to save a woman and her son from would-be robbers. She calls him a hero and it sticks. He uses his talent for jumping on a Pogo Stick to fight crime and uncovers a plot to destroy the world.

Director: Matt Vaughn Writer: Mark Millar Starring: Taylor Lautner, Bill Murray and Gina Davis

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#6: Rubik’s Cube – Thriller

rubiks cube header 7 Ridiculous Toy Based Movies (That Will Probably Be Made)

Synopsis: A crazed killer called Rubik is on the loose in the city of Los Angeles and he’s targeting reporters. Nine strangers wake up in different colored rooms, knowing nothing about how they got there or why they have been forced to play Rubik’s deadly game. Can they solve the insane puzzle before the 10th victim falls prey to Rubik’s Cube?

Director: Christopher Nolan Writer: Eli Roth Starring: Bruce Boxleitner, Ally Sheedy, James Roday (And yes, I’ve heard of Vincenzo Natali’s Cube – these are the jokes, people.) icon smile 7 Ridiculous Toy Based Movies (That Will Probably Be Made)

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#5: Operation – Horror/Psychological Thriller

operation board game 7 Ridiculous Toy Based Movies (That Will Probably Be Made)

Synopsis: Sam Cavity is a man living in a horrible nightmare. Every time he goes to sleep, he wakes up with a new scar in a different location. What is going on? He’s terrified and no one believes him – not the cops, not the doctors and not his friends. First his Spare Ribs were removed and then his Wish Bone; now it’s his Bread Basket and if he doesn’t figure out who is doing this to him, he could soon lose his Adam’s Apple and Broken Heart. The one person that does believe him is a familiar stranger from the hospital, who seems to know more than he is letting on. Can he help Sam from becoming a patient on the run?

Director: John Carpenter Writer: Stephen King Starring: James Van Der Beek, Mos Def

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#4: Marbles – Action/Drama/Thriller

marbles header 7 Ridiculous Toy Based Movies (That Will Probably Be Made)

Synopsis: When the mysterious crime boss “Shooter” declares war on the cops of Marble City, his deadly gang “The Ringers” turns the city into a crime ridden nightmare. With no one willing to help them, one guy, Tom Bowler, forms a group of neighborhood vigilantes to start taking his city back.  The group consists of Popper, Shooter, Taw, Bumboozer, Tonk, Masher and Peewee. Together they call themselves “The Marbles” but they must defeat Shooter’s right hand man Cats Eye if they want to bring order back to Marble City.

Director: Sam Raimi Writer: David Hayter Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jeffery Dean Morgan, Billy Zane, Verne Troyer, and Mimi Rogers

Continue to see the Top 3 Toys and Games probably heading to the Big Screen

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TAGS: battleship, candyland, erector set, hot wheels, monopoly, view-master

46 Comments

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  1. Mancala. an animated fare starring lemurs leaping from the cliffs protecting their valley to take over the next one. woohoo

  2. I could totally see Uno as a film… which is kinda sad now I think about it.

    Though I think you guys forgot “Checkers the movie”, an army who's only hope is to repeatedly jump over the enemy, killing them in the process in order to get to the other side of the battle field… at which point they become twice as tall and totally awesome.

    I'll get on the screenplay now.

  3. I swear this looks like Mystery Science Theater 3000 fodder…….Someone needs to lay off the Jim Beam and let their heads clear before going any further.

  4. The Operation movie actually sounds pretty good, I'd probably see that movie.

  5. WTH!!!!!

  6. You don't like the idea? Fine, you're not invited to the premier.

  7. Sorry….But the whole toy to movie thing is gonna get (or has gotten) ridiculous….Heck I heard Taylor Lautner has agreed to play 'Stretch Armstrong'…..Talk about career suicide….

  8. Yeah, I heard that to. And with movies like Monopoly being made, I feel we're already down the rabbit hole on this one.

  9. Comic to movies can work if the director stay true to the comic instead of “Hollywoodizing” it with wimpy actors, or other cast members who don't fit the characters(Daredevil)…….Video game to movies Heck no (The legend of Chun Li/Doom)(I gotta say Hitman was actually pretty good)…..Book to movie, good if the director can get a screen writer who can successfully) transfer it into the screen play without making it to long or removing so much it doesn't make a lick of sense…..

  10. Legos
    In a post-appocalyptic world one man is on a journey to rebuild the country he loves. But are there enough blocks? Are there enough blue ones to finish the police statin? Will Gary oldman/Jackie Earl Halley/mark strong/the guy wh played Hans in die hard stop him before he completes his journey?
    Starring Dwayne “the rock” Johnson. Love interest Charlize theiron. Stiffler is the comic relief

  11. Quote: “(Disclaimer: the previous statement was a sarcastic, and pathetic, attempt at humor at the expense of everyone who reads an article on Screenrant and then complains about the author of said written article. If you find this statement funny in any form, please start taking your meds again…)”

    It's a good thing you put this disclaimer in your comment, I mean I was sooo ready to kick you in the head.

    True Story.

  12. Trouble – Action Adventure

    Boggle – Thriller/Crime Drama

    Dominoes – From the Director and Producers of Training Day and American Gangster

    Simon – One wrong move can be a killer – Horror

  13. “Simon – One wrong move can be a killer – Horror”

    Already been done, it's called Die Hard with a Vengeance (although admittedly not a horror)

  14. Ah and even before that it was Simon Phoenix in Demolition Man. Still this one would just involve the actual simon game and a retro strobe effect that kills people so it would be closer to the Ring :D :P

  15. Wow. I needed a good laugh on a Monday! Thank you! I hope the Hollywood execs don't have the internet.

  16. yahooo i'm mentioned in the above story ….yahoooo

  17. What's sad is that someone will see this and think it's a great idea.
    I hope it doesn't happen.

  18. I'm in. :p

  19. To quote Dr. Kermode, “This is the death of narrative cinema!” I don't know if I want to live in a world where the only movies made are Saw XX, Avatar: The Return to Pandora, Trouble: the Pop-a-matic Movie, and anything 3D. Studios wonder why pirates download movies.

  20. Yahtzee.

  21. wow….never thought about a marbles reboot!

    rubik's cube actually might work…great plot and cast

  22. Quote: “but what else is in Hollywood’s toy chest? [Just in case you can’t tell, this article is completely fictional and just for fun.]“

    It's a good thing you put this disclaimer in the article, I mean, I was sooo ready to rip you a new one for “toying” with my childhood – I went so far as to look up a few good, but utterly despicable words from urban dictionary so as to insult your family pet from YOUR childhood, I even considered hiring a beach bully to bring you a box of sand, put it on the floor in front of you and kick it in your face. As is, you'll just have to put up with anyone else that comes along and actually takes any part of the article to heart…

    (Disclaimer: the previous statement was a sarcastic, and pathetic, attempt at humor at the expense of everyone who reads an article on Screenrant and then complains about the author of said written article. If you find this statement funny in any form, please start taking your meds again…)

  23. coming soon….. Red Light, Green Light… The motion picture….imagine yourself on a playgound, your teachers are held captive by armed terrorists and only you and your fellow 1st graders are all that stands between her and bombageddon! You can only advance while the terrorists are busy perusing the lunch menu and discussing what could possibly be in the mystery meat being served on Friday. Do they have what it takes? Will Jimmy be able to make it all the way, or will somebody need to go to the bathroom….. coming soon to theatres, this fall

  24. im waiting for NIGHT OF THE PEZ DEAD.

  25. If you need a director, Ive got you.

  26. lol, Sean William Scott you mean

  27. You've left out the obvious ones that would really make people think. Major Matt Mason, Super Ball- In Orbit and the sequel Super Ball- To The Moon. Only a super nerd genius like Tim Burton would be able to handle the challenge of Yahtzee the movie! The games Risk and Life have merit. Just imagine Risk, Russel Crow versus Joaquin Phoenix all over again. Then cast Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman for the Life movie. Rubik actually sounds a little like a Batman villain rather than a franchise. Nolan.. You owe me if you use it. Simon, definitely a “Saw” replacement destined to be serialized. Don't forget the tie-ins. “Terminator: Rock-Em-Sock-Em Robots VS. Transformers” surely a hit…

  28. Rubik's Cube sounds like a spoof of Cube, sci-fi about prisoners in a somewhat rubik's cubish construct (well, the cells are cubes that shift around periodically) who need to get through puzzles to get out. They're not colored though so that's where Rubik beats them!

  29. So great to be mentioned in Screen Rant… Thanks Paul! I can see it now: “Dominic Purcell… Flavor Flav… and Academy Award nominee Ian McKellen… No balls are enough… with the Hungry, Hungry Hippos… Directed by David Cronenberg. Rated R. See your local theater—”

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