‘Two And A Half Men’ Season 9 Premiere Review & Discussion

Published 4 years ago by , Updated July 18th, 2014 at 9:56 am,

two and a half men ashton kutcher Two And A Half Men Season 9 Premiere Review & Discussion

Read More: Charlie Sheen Loved ‘Two and a Half Men’ Premiere; Gets $125 Million Settlement

The moment has come to say goodbye to Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen) and say hello to Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher) in the Two and a Half Men season 9 premiere.

With all eyes watching this highly publicized transition of characters, will Chuck Lorre be able to reinvent his hit CBS sitcom with a new character serving as the lead, all while still maintaining the same type of quality storytelling that the series’ fans have grown to expected?

And, more importantly, will Alan (Jon Cryer) and Jake’s (Angus T. Jones) roles change now that an internet billionaire owns Charlie Harper’s house?

After months of debating, the potential future of Two and a Half Men will be revealed in the season 9 premiere.


Despite the fact that the Two and a Half Men season 9 premiere isn’t a true representation of what the series will become without Charlie Sheen on board, what is presented is a cringe-worthy attempt at Chuck Lorre trying to satisfy a childish need to have the final word in one of television’s most public feuds.

With a poorly realized opening that awkwardly presents the funeral of Charlie Harper as a disgustingly humorous soiree, all hopes of Lorre competently executing the extremely difficult transition from Harper to Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher) were lost, as the inability to even acknowledge the importance of the character in the series lead to a flurry of STD jokes, and a disturbing acceptance by all to a murder confession.

charlie sheen two and a half men season 9 premiere Two And A Half Men Season 9 Premiere Review & Discussion

In a surprisingly brief moment of humanity, Alan (Jon Cryer) eventually provided a much deserved eulogy to the character that helped make Two and a Half Men the television hit that it is (or was). Unfortunately, this moment served to be the only realistic response to the grave themes presented in the premiere.

Making sure that the brilliantly conceived idea of tackling the topic of death remained throughout the 30-minute comedic sitcom, Lorre decided that the best way to introduce Ashton Kutcher to the series was with a failed suicide attempt and a haphazard backstory.

With the general consensus amongst the series’ many fans that Kutcher is unable to capably serve as the new series lead, Lorre never once attempted to prove the vocal majority wrong. Instead of focusing on creating a new character in Schmidt and, in turn, reinvent certain elements of the series’ appeal to viewers, Lorre chooses to introduce him as a distraught, heart-broken billionaire… that will happily have sex with any woman (or women) willing to keep him company.

alan jon cryer two and a half men season 9 premiere Two And A Half Men Season 9 Premiere Review & Discussion

In that respect, it feels like Lorre’s decision to axe Sheen from the series was never followed up with the appropriate discussion about how the show will grow and evolve through this debacle. The question about replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men was never whether or not they could replace him; it was always about how they would replace him. In an age when television has elevated itself to become a beautiful storytelling medium, audiences have grown to expect a certain level of respect from series creators.

While simply replacing Charlie Harper with the characteristically similar Walden Schmidt allows the writers to continue with minimal changes to the actual thematic execution of Two and a Half Men, it fails to give its audience the respect it deserves, by providing them with the opportunity to find a new reason to enjoy what the series currently represents, not what it used to be.

two and a half men cast photo1 Two And A Half Men Season 9 Premiere Review & Discussion

For all intents and purpose, Lorre has decided against using the Two and a Half Men season 9 premiere to build a new foundation – from which the series can continue. Instead, the ability to publicly ridicule Charlie Sheen through his now-murdered character Charlie Harper served as the driving force of this episode.

In that respect, Lorre has won: Charlie Sheen (through Charlie Harper) is an STD riddled, panty wearing, exploding bag of meat. Congratulations. But now what? What happens next? What will the series now become?

Click here to check out our Two and a Half Men  Photo Gallery

As it currently stands, Two and a Half Men appears to be poorly realized copy of the original. Despite CBS being generally known for securing high ratings for all of its comedies – no matter the quality – one has to ask themselves how much longer this series can last the way it is, especially when a series creator is willing to sacrifice quality to simply “one-up” their enemy.

Two and a Half Men airs Mondays @9pm on CBS

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  1. Im watching it so far and I’m surprised at how no one is sad or crying at the funeral. Jake says ” I’m hungry. Anyone else hungry?” and Evelyn is trying to sell Charlies house at the funeral

    • First, the show seemed only about 10 minutes long… ruined by commercial after commercial. Then again, they had to make money while they could because the premier of the new season was a big disappointment. The transition was weak and the jokes really didn’t work for the most part. After some of the great writing of the past, I expected a lot more. Frankly, I don’t think Ashton is going to make it as the lead character… his performance just wasn’t very strong. That is likely the fault of the substandard script, but he just came across as someone passing through. They may have “killed” Charlie off, but there’s always a way to bring the character back. Perhaps as a ghost that only Alan and Jake can see and hear… kind of like the old “Topper” movie and TV series. That could be really funny. What’s going on now isn’t. And yes, I expect a writing gig on the show if CBS and Warner Brothers decide to bring Charlie back using my idea.

      • Haven’t you heard – Ashton has not been, is not, and will never be a good actor – he just cannot act, but his ego is even bigger than Lorre’s (if that’s possible). The show will never fly!

        • and who are u?

          • I’m someone who knows bad acting when I see it.

      • Exactly, they can always bring Charlie back. I was thinking that maybe they could make an episode where Allen finds out that Charlie isn’t dead but instead Rose has him hostage in her house and won’t let him go. That would make total sense since she’s deranged anyway.

    • winning?

  2. I’m watching the premiere and i think your just being vindictive, And the funeral is very distasteful. That is a horrible way to write somebody off the show. I expected the show to flop, and it looks like i was right.

    • “distasteful” – you were looking for “tasteful” from Two and a Half Men?? That’s like looking for respect for women from Benny Hill, lol.

      • Sooo true the show was all of a sudden suppose to become “tastefull”

  3. This show sucks doesn’t have the punch that Charlie gave it

  4. Not funny so far after the wake. Just wondering why this supposed good looking guy is trying to kill himself, with a stupid name. Where’s Walden. So not funny already.

    • After seeing the first episode CHARLIE IS WINNING

      • I must agree with you. Chuck Lorre tried to make Charlie look bad but it back fired.


  5. ” will ‘Two and a Half Men’ prove to the world that there’s still some laughs to be had in this series?”

    When was this show ever funny?

    • It was always funny – until last night’s premiere!


  6. They trying too hard,looks like without Charlie this show will be canceled after few episodes,in my humble opinion.

    • wow, the show is awful now! they screwed up bad without charlie sheen

  7. I have to say the spirit in which this series opener was made is rather mean. And most importantly NOT FUNNY ………. At all! Mistake to let Charlie Sheen go

  8. Bring Charlie back. Please.

    • This is soooo not funny. It is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. The opening sucked too, not a way to write someone off a show. I know I won’t be watching any more episodes. too bad Charlie may have been an ass but he made the show what it was. He did his job well, shouldn’t have fired him. Oh well gotta find something else to watch on Mon at 9

    • “He’s dead, Jim.” (apologies to Star Trek.) Not. Coming. Back. EVER. Got it?


  9. Was a loyal fan. No more. Not funny, stupid. Turned it off. Charlies charactor held the show together. I will nolonger watch.

  10. Ashton is basically playing his character from “That 70’s Show”.

    Wait. He’s a one dimensional “actor”. What else can he do?!

    I’m not a big Charlie Sheen fan. I’m also not a big fan of the show. However, I did find Sheen to be funny in the episodes I did watch which is more than I can say for tonights episode.

  11. I think it was great! It’s not the same, but it was good.

    • Are you deaf and blind. Must be to like this garbage. Ashton should stick to sticking it to Demi. He can’t act and I bet his pecker is smaller than his brain, if that is possible.

      • Wow, so much for respecting other peoples opinion. Get a grip dude

      • i almost lost my bladder control with your comment. KUDDOS!!!

        • The sad thing was 2 broke girls was way more funnier. I only watched it to satisfy that feeling you have to slow down and see an accident.

          Accident is over. Goodbye Two and a Half Men.

    • Luda I know you want to say something positive here but let’s face it… the show sucked last night. What part did you find great? Was it the part where no one was crying at the funeral, not even Chelsey. The long time girlfriend who almost married him, his own mother or Jake who always bragged about Charlie being the best uncle in the past episodes? Was it Rose when she pratically confessed to murder or how charlie exploded like a bunch of meat. I know what it was.. it was the part when Alan drops the ashes all over the living room floor and Ashton appears looking through the window after trying to drown himself over a girlfriend. Then again, it could of been the part with him parading butt naked in the kitchen exposing himself and Alan commenting about how he can get over Ashton’s woody. Really? Be specific because what I saw last night was not funny. It just sucked.

      • I totally agree Janet.

    • You think that was good?! it was crap go buy Distionary & look up the word great!

  12. Nice effort. Can’t blame ’em for tryin’, but it’s a goner.

    Very disappointing. Sheen’s worst episode was better than this. Dynamics have changed and are all wrong. Kutcher will be nice distraction for a while. One more season at most.

    Kutcher will be nice distraction. One season tops.

    • I can’t even stand looking at Kutcher – he makes my stomach churn, and not in a good way! He is so pathetic. But he THINKS he’s a god. How could they ever have replaced Charlie with this jerk? When will the “people who should know better” realize that this guy CAN’T ACT.

  13. This premiere was horrible! Not funny at all……not going to make it without Charlie…..to bad it used to be a great show!


      • YES!! I agree. Berta should be the main character in her own show, now THAT i would watch!

  14. Not funny. This show will not lsat.

  15. Unbelievably distasteful. Ashton appears to be a big stupid jerk. Charlie deserved a better exodus after several years of good acting and entertainment especially if the people who supported him on the show truly cared about his well being. the creator and writers failed miserably.

    • i agree

    • Well said. I totally agree.

    • If you were looking for taste from Two and a Half Men you were (and have been) watching the wrong show.

    • Touché

      • The above comment was for another poster – don’t know how it got here.

  16. This was so bad….give Charlie what he wants!!!!!

  17. Absolute crap, Kutcher’s acting was terrible. And what was up with all the nudity… Do they think his naked body is going to attract more viewers?

    • When is his acting ever “good”?!

      • In That 70’s Show………

        • Even then I couldn’t stand him. Stopped watching the show when Topher Grace left.

  18. TERRIBLE!! No class… too many mean-spirited low-blows. Dry humor that falls way short of the mark.

  19. It sucked Bad.. .

  20. Just finished watching the new episode… ashton kutcher was not funny at all. I guess the writers thought that making him walk around naked was supposed to be funny. Jon Cryer tried his hardest, but he really needs someone to work the jokes with him.

    • I agree!

      • Poor Duckie. He’s trying, but it will be hard for him to carry the show. I agree with another comment that said Ashton seems just like his character on “That 70’s Show”, but that may be on purpose. Maybe he will
        come out of his shell if the show continues. I give it an “A” for effort, but I miss the Charlie/Alan chemistry.

        • “A” dasn’t stand for effort it standed for awful.

  21. this was the worst episode I’ve ever seen. Like “dude, where’s my car?” Can Ashton do any other rule than some surfer/bubbling/goofy type? seriously he is a bad actor. Also, how tasteless was this episode…Charlie’s ashes are sucked up by a vacuum due to Alan being scared by – – – oh what’s his name – – – Walden. The whole opening scene was so stupid and not funny. They lost it completely without Charlie Sheen. Also, what the heck was with Chuck Loree’s lame humour by bringing John Stamos, Dharma & Greg, and Pete (from Dharma and Greg, and he’s appeared several times before)? it was just stupid.

    • what a waste of my time

      • LOL !

      • I completely Agree!!

  22. Won’t last the season; bland, tasteless and no chemistry between the characters. Looked like everyone was sleepwalking. But then, maybe that is by design, milk one more season. After all, how much longer can you call it “Two and a Half men” when the “half” man is pushing 6 feet? Charlie Sheen/Jon Cryer had a chemistry that is hard to match. For this type of comedy, only Michael J. Fox is as good or better, certainly NOT Ashton Kutcher.

  23. Used to be a fan. Watched the first episode this season. I must say it will be the last. Not a funny show without Sheen.

  24. What a waste of airtime. Chuck Lorre’s worst writing ever. You’re reaching Chuck. The sponsors are cringing. This show is yesterday’s news.

  25. So glad that my Monday nights just became free…..They should have burried and burned the show with Charlie Sheen’s character.

  26. I agree that the funeral and cavalier way of dealing with Charlie’s death seems like revenge by the writers but overall it wasn’t that bad. We’ll have to see how it develops. Saying that Charlie was the show doesn’t give some of the other characters any credit which to me it’s not right. Hope they make it work though.

    • Well, I don’t have to see how it develops! They lost me after last night’s show (totally unfunny). But I’m not in the least surprised.

  27. The premiere was terrible! I’ve seen almost every episode with Charlie Sheen and it was hilarious. I hardly laughed at all tonight. And the funeral scene was in bad taste. I won’t be watching again.

  28. I will never watch two and a half men again! what a waste of my time

  29. I thought it was pretty funny. Strange they weren’t sad at his death, but I thought it was decent.

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