Revenge of the Fallen May Have Its Revenge…

Published 5 years ago by , Updated February 15th, 2014 at 4:26 pm,

transformers 2 the fallen face1 Revenge of the Fallen May Have Its Revenge...

Say what they may (and they will) about the recently released Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but I suspect they’d be singing a different tune if they were the ones laughing their way to the bank right now. In its first five days in IMAX theaters, Transformers 2 set a five-day record of $14.4 million – and that’s only 3.5% of the film’s total grosses as of June 28th: $390,240,609.

So if I were Michael Bay, it wouldn’t take too much for me to ignore the harsh criticism that Transformers 2 has garnered – but that hasn’t stopped anyone from trying to get his attention.

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THE HIGH SALE OF LOW QUALITY

transfomres 2 bumblebee fight Revenge of the Fallen May Have Its Revenge...

It didn’t take critics long to start slamming the movie for being juvenile, and what CNN called “…a grotesque exercise in hyperinflation”. Most nay-sayers were reading from the same script, touting the film as a non-stop, action packed, plotless, 147-minute Hasboro commercial that appeals only to 14 year-old boys and their fathers who once owned the toys.

And they’re right, in my opinion. Transformers 2 is everything the critics say it is, and more.  It is a Shia La Beouf/Megan Fox vehicle; an opportunity to watch Fox run through the sand in slow motion while La Beouf stammers like some next generation Hugh Grant; and of course, it is a chance to see the toys of our youth have the life-giving breath of CGI breathed into them so they can bang around like junkyard porn.

This is why I was willing to be gouged at the box office for IMAX tickets.  Watching this movie made my childhood playthings come to life.  And watching Megan Fox bounce through sandy explosions in super slow-mo made another childhood plaything come to life…

transformers 2 megan fox Revenge of the Fallen May Have Its Revenge...

Can't be mad about that...

I, like so many others (and unlike so many critics), were not surprised to find that this movie wasn’t likely to be awarded an Oscar, nor was it going to warrant attention from any elite festival.  So I didn’t leave the theater yammering about how the last 45 minutes of the film were vapid and mind-numbing, or groaning about how Skids and Mudflap were such offensive stereotypes of African Americans that I’m henceforth boycotting Michael Bay and everything Chevrolet. Instead, I left grinning from ear to ear, having gotten exactly what I expected.  In fact, had I sat through two hours of insightful dialogue and profound, globally relevant social commentary, I would have left rather peeved.

But the people have spoken. Currently trailing closely behind The Dark Knight’s record grosses, the new Transformers will have its Revenge on the critics as it thunders down the road toward some serious box-office records of its own.  And with numbers like these, it’s amazing that those involved with the production are still unsure about a third installment.

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TAGS: transformers 2, transformers 3

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  1. oh i saw public enemies on the midnight showing… i know its good… i was just curious about the review

  2. This movie sucked and was garbage. If i wanted to watch a flick like this i would have stayed at home and watch southpark or a van dam flick.

    The first one was balanced with humor, action, and story.
    this was full blown unbalanced

  3. SInce when does a movie have to be FOX NEWS? (Fair and Balanced)

    For Pete’s sake … it’s E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N-M-E-N-T!

    Some people, myself included, are entertained by mind-numbing action and sexploitation of women. My everyday work life is stressful enough, I don’t need a movie that is depressing, boring and/or slower than a drive I-95 during construction time. Not that is all I watch, but in the summer it is what I look forward to.

  4. @Foopher
    So I guess the Fallen lied to Megatron when he said Optimus was the last Prime.

    Bumblebee was not shiny when he first met Sam.

    @790
    Kind of. Just showing some of the problems. :-)

  5. Yeah….whatever…….I’m going to go see it again tonight!!!

  6. Cover me in paper cuts and dip me in lemon juice!

    If I hear one more person exclaim that ‘the masses have spoken!’ I am going to start quoting Karl Marx and resurrect the goosestep to start invading the Rhineland!

    I think that in five years time we won’t even remember this film. 10 more ‘blockbusters’ will have made a squillion dollars by then, and ‘the masses’ will be bleating about how wonderful the ‘Watching paint dry’ film ROCKED!!!!

  7. “I am going to start quoting Karl Marx and resurrect the goosestep to start invading the Rhineland!”

    Too late we already have Obama.

    Saw Transformers 2 last night. I thought it was a great action flick.
    Exactly what I wanted from a movie with giant transforming robots. Kick-butt action. Where there parts that made my brother and I roll our eyes … of course But who cares, overall a lot of fun.

  8. Bring on the sexism, racism, and toilet humour. The masses lead by the big boys with little toys have spoken!

    Yeeeee! haaaaaa!

  9. “Bumblebee was not shiny when he first met Sam.”

    I know :) . I’m just saying that now he transforms into a shiny car. Or at least that’s the way i look at it. i tend to do that with movies so that anything that doesn’t make sense makes sense to me.

  10. It was megatron that “killed” optimus right?

    at the end of the first one optimus calls him his brother. wouldn’t that make megatron a prime?

  11. “The masses lead by the big boys with little toys have spoken!”

    Sexist.

  12. “… racism …”

    I agree. The mother in this movie was portrayed as a crazy white person and as a crazy white person, that offends me.

  13. Hey,

    respectfully ‘Sir Ink’, when men and women are finally treated equally in all arenas of the media, including film, and men’s bodies are used gratuitously with a focus on slow motion genatalia (big ones, not the miniscule) running at me on the screen for MY personal enjoyment as a woman, THEN and only then are you entitled to claim that women are sexist.

    Until then, I can assume that Megan Fox’s slow motion chestathon was for the enjoyment and, dare I say it? ‘Titillation’ of a men only crowd. And if you DARE split hairs to say that gay women would enjoy it too, not only are you missing the whole ‘sexist’ ( Men are from Mars, women are from Venus) complaint that I am aiming specifically at men who think its OK to see women, mothers and sisters treated like meat on screen.

    The fact that this is being billed as a ‘children’s movie’ and that women are represented to young children that way, as ‘entertainment’ is offensive not only to me, but a few other men I know as well.

  14. And furthermore, can someone(s) please drop the race accusations? I mean, seriously, it’s getting to the point of grabbing onto just about anything & calling it offensive anymore.

    Why is the stuff involving the Twins “racist”? Why, because they talk slang? So black folks are the only folks in urban America? I’m asking this AS a black man, myself! So, black people are the only ones who speak slang? What, so because the Twins aren’t fans of “reading”, as they put it, that’s a black thing too?

    Sounds to me as if the people making these accusations are the ones guilty of the very things they’re accusing the movie-makers of, in this case. No one in the film said they were “talking black”. Their way of speaking had nothing to do with a COLOR.

    Were some of you on the high horse when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were big? Were you moaning “racism” then, when they were running around yelling “KOWABUNGA DUDE!!! TOTALLY AWWWWESOME!”? Were you accusing THEM of unfairly racially stereotyping surfer white boys? But the moment someone goes “Yo, yo, yo”, suddenly it’s a race thing.

    Not everyone who speaks that way is black, nor is everyone yelling “Totally rad!!!” white. Stop bringing color into it. Take the 5 seconds & remember that Transformers adapt to the various dialects of Earth. Which is why Ironhide & Sideswipe have BRITISH accents, why the little “Doctor” Decepticon had a German accent, and why Jazz from Movie 1 spoke urban slang (anyone remember that, or does that require too much thought?). They adapt to surroundings & dialects – not colors. No different from the Turtles, years ago.