What were the top moments from this year's Oscars?
Instead of allowing everyone to simply say what they thought those moments were, we went to TiVo to find out the real truth.
Because if Terminator 2 has taught us anything, it's that machines never lie... unless it's about your dog Wolfie. Damn you, T-1000!
Tom Cruise announces “The Artist” as Best Picture
Even though Best Picture is considered the most prestigious award of the evening, Tom Cruise announcing The Artist as Best Picture barely made it in the top 5.
Whether it's because people were interested in seeing which film they have yet to see win the award, or because Tom Cruise looks really good for turning 50 this year, this was the fifth most TiVo'd moment.
…and with The Artist taking home the Oscar for Best Picture, you know that Tom Cruise is already working on his own silent film: Top Gun 2: Silent But Deadly (if I didn't say it, someone else would)
Octavia Spencer receiving the award for Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Perhaps one of the most awe-inspiring moments from the Oscars this year was Octavia Spencer winning the award for Best Supporting Actress for The Help.
If Spencer's emotional acceptance of the award wasn't enough for viewers to take notice, the standing ovation from the entire audience at the Kodak Theater surely did.
Sure, there's something snarky that could be said here... but I for one don't appreciate eating poopy pies.
Meryl Streep wins the Best Actress Award
People around the world groaned when Meryl Streep won the Award for Best Actress for The Iron Lady, and like any self-aware psychicwitchactress, Streep knew it - and called Earth out on it.
While The Iron Lady wasn't a great film, Streep's performance as Margaret Thatcher was outstanding. And even though Streep has been nominated for 17 Academy Awards, this is only her third win. Whether you like the fact that Steep won the award or not, there's no denying the fact that she is one of the most talented actresses in the industry.
Plus, Streep was in Mamma Mia! – and you have to give credit to anyone that stars in a movie about a mom who sleeps around so much that her daughter doesn't know who her father is... and then sings about it. It's like Maury: The Musical - but with Margaret Thatcher, a stuttering King (Colin Firth), and James Bond (Pierce Brosnan).
Robert Downey, Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow presenting the award for Best Documentary
Whenever Robert Downey Jr kicks off his award presentation by Tebowing, you know that you're in for a treat.
Taking the stage with Gwyneth Paltrow to present Best Documentary, RDJ brought his own documentary crew with him, and proceeded to provide one of the most entertaining moments of the evening… by just being his awesome self.
Also, he was wearing a bow tie - and as any Doctor Who fan knows, "Bow ties are cool!"
Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez presenting the award for Best Costume Design and Makeup
TiVo busted you, America!
How exactly did Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz become the #1 most TiVo'd moment from the Oscars?
Let us break it down for you:
When Jennifer Lopez took to the stage to present the award for Best Costume Design and Best Makeup, the collective male audience watching took notice of her "lovely dress." Then when the next commercial break came up, and everyone's significant other went to the bathroom to get away from the litany of Ellen Degeneres' JC Penney commercials, the men made their move.
Like Alex Rogan in The Last Starfighter, the men of America worked the rewind button on the remote control like a master… because they knew they saw something.
Unfortunately, you didn't see anything, as the designer of the dress revealed that J-Lo did not have a wardrobe malfunction, but that the dress just makes it look like she has.
Still, Centauri would have been proud... of both you and the dress designer.
Until Next Year...
And there you have it!
Don't agree with the list? Well maybe next year you won't be such perverts while watching the Oscars. ;-)
And while you may not agree with the moments that made the list, I'm sure you'll certainly agree that getting called out by your television for trying to "sneak a peek" is a lose-lose situation for everyone.
Especially since this was just Phase I of Skynet becoming self-aware.