Published 11 months ago
This is a list post.
Shrimpanzees. Tacodile Supremes. Wildabeets. Bananostriches. Double bacon cheespiders. Watermelophants. Flint Lockwood has quite the menagerie of food animals to contend with in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2, and that's only naming a few of the edible beasties inhabiting Swallow Falls in the sequel to Phil Lord's and Chris Miller's thoroughly delightful 2009 hit.
The film's list of food animals stretches for miles, and has so much diversity to its credit that it got us thinking: what other humanoid (or at least sentient) foods exist out there in the greater realm of moviedom?
It turns out that, much like Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 (read our review), there's an impressive variety of food-based creatures and characters to be found - if you know where to look, that is. In fact, we stumbled upon so many different walking and talking comestibles that we had to leave some real choice picks for this list on the cutting room floor. With that said, here are our five best anthropomorphized foods in film.
Space Balls: Pizza the Hutt
In the realm of all things foodie, nobody can deny the universal appeal of a tasty pizza pie. That's exactly why Pizza the Hutt, the ancillary heavy in Mel Brooks' Spaceballs, proves so utterly revolting - in fact, he's probably the only entry on this list that may discourage, rather than induce, hunger.
Forget that he's out for Lone Star and Barf's blood, and that Brooks regular Dom DeLuise voices the Italian gangster to slimy perfection, that's one nauseating slice.
Fortunately, Pizza only pops up in the film once - when his name comes up again, it's only through a radio bulletin announcing his death. He eats himself, confirming that Pizza is indeed quite as delicious as his right-hand man testifies when Brooks first introduces them.
Of course, that gets a cheer out of our heroes and us, because we really don't need to see Pizza's face more than once.
Ghostbusters: The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Ray Stantz had no idea what he was getting his fellow Ghostbusters into when he accidentally summoned this jolly-looking fiend. In his defense, a giant walking marshmallow doesn't sound like much of a threat to New York City, but when that campfire treat ends up being brought to life by a demonic god, you'd better put the chocolate and graham crackers away and reach for your proton pack.
Of all the skeletons, spirits, and haunts that end up terrorizing the Big Apple across both Ghostbuster films, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man might well be the most iconic of the bunch, if only for his involvement in the climax of the first movie. He gives Slimer some stiff competition, anyways.
At the very least, he's one of the few "name" ghosts that lasts beyond the lifespan of the movies, coming up again and again in the TV show at first as a villain and then as a helpful ally to the team later on in the series. He's still pretty adverse to sitting by an open flame, though.
Whether you're a fan of the Shrek franchise or not, everybody knows that the true hero of the story is actually Gingy. His is a tale of adversity - you could craft an entire standalone feature around his flashback scene in Shrek the Third, one that builds off of his experiences as a double amputee who overcomes his life-altering injury through blood, sweat, and gumdrop tears.
That's actually a good bit more dramatic than what actually happens to the Gingerbread Man over the course of the series, but he does kinda get brutalized by Lord Farquaad in the first movie, and between that and his exploits in each installment, he's one of Shrek's toughest allies. He stands up to torture, saves the day when duty calls, and he's downright impossible to catch.
Plus, he's got pluck, always an admirable trait in an animated baked good. There's no getting around it: no matter what the Shrek movies throw at Gingy, you just can't keep him down.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter: God In A Sundae
Being the son of God can be trying: half the people you meet expect you to pull a miracle out of a hat without hesitation, and the other half just don't accept that you exist. The upside, of course, is that you have impeccable hipster style, unbeatable kung fu skills, and a direct (if unpredictably weird) line to the big man upstairs.
In all of cinema, God has been portrayed by a countless array of actors - like Morgan Freeman, Graham Chapman (using W.G. Grace's visage), Alanis Morissette, and George Burns - but only one movie depicts Him as a bowl of ice cream. That would be Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, an obscure cult movie from the early aughts that pits Jesus against vampires preying on Ottawa's lesbian population.
It's every bit as strange as you might expect, but nothing's more out there than a conversation Jesus has with his dad, who chooses to appear in the form of a yummy ice cream sundae. Brought to life courtesy of a sock puppet.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Master Shake, Frylock, & Meatwad
Strictly speaking, this trio earned their fame on television, not at the multiplex, but Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters made them into stars of the silver screen - and besides, the distinction feels almost petty. Any list about walking, talking, food items would be incomplete without these guys.
If you're familiar enough with the Aqua Teen show on Adult Swim, you probably remember that Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad got their start fighting crime before unceremoniously dropping their vocation because, well, it just didn't pay.
At that point, each ten minute installment devolved into random adventures involving the Mooninites, the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future, Romulox, and an entire rogues' gallery of other characters. No overarching narrative here, just fast food staples engaging in wacky hijinx and making life miserable for their poor neighbor, Carl.
Conclusion & Honorable Mentions
Believe it or not, this list could stretch out even farther than five entries. In the movies, food rocks out to Van Halen (Better Off Dead), menaces innocent people (John Dies at the End, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes), improves our moral fiber (Veggie Tales), and teaches us how to be honest with ourselves (Wet Hot American Summer). Sometimes, it just entertains us (The Muppets).
But we bet there are some anthropomorphic foods we didn't think of, so rattle off your favorites in the comments section!
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 is now playing in 2D and 3D theaters.