Because it’s your birthday, I’ll forgive you for that. LOL

Also whats the deal when I’m sitting in a practically empty theater and someone comes in and sits two seats down from me in the same isle?

Yeah, and they wonder why no one wants to go to the movies anymore. People of all ages are just f@#$ing rude!

I went to see The Proposal starring Sandra Bullock and Deadpool. LOVE Deadpool. Don’t say it, I already know: Chick flick! Which explains why I was alone.

Well, not quite alone. It was the middle of a Friday afternoon and I was killing time waiting to pick up my husband from work. I wanted to see that movie. He didn’t. He was working, I wasn’t. Perfect!

Do you know who else goes to matinees in the middle of the afternoon? That’s right: senior citizens. Senior citizens with weak bladders, terrible hearing, and a ravenous hunger for things they shouldn’t eat and will be “sorry for later”. I was the youngest person in there and I’m 48!

But why would I care, right? I’m going to, hopefully, be a senior citizen someday and really soon the way time’s been flying by. Ill wanted to be treated respectfully then too so you behave accordingly. And surely (don’t call me Shirley – can’t help myself) they know how to behave in a movie theater after all, it’s just common courtesy. But they’re no better than anyone else.

The small, rag tag bunch of old timers in front of me kept switching off who got to watch part of the movie while the other one peed. Then, after that person came back from the bathroom, the other person would loudly repeat any dialog that was missed, word for f@#$ing word with bonus color commentary such as; “that blouse was just DARLING” or “she really shouldn’t wear horizontal stripes!” or “He is really holding up well, but his hair is much too long for his age. He should cut it. He looks foolish” Then the person giving the commentary would go pee and it started all over again when they returned.

And for some reason, they always forget the popcorn or whatever before they sit down, and watch the commercials, and watch the credits, and the movie vendor logo appear. Then the movie starts and they have to decide what to get while standing up in directly in front of you, your only view being their ass in their baggy, polyester pants that some evil manufacturer makes for just such occasions, with matching jacket and short sleeved polyester blouse covered with giant buttons printed loudly in pink, over sized cabbage roses. Saying;

“Oh, do you want popcorn?”

“Oh no, I really shouldn’t what with my diverticulitis and all.”

“How about some M&Ms with peanuts.”

“Oh no dear. Remember? The peanuts get caught in the tiny pockets in my colon and give me terrible gas and cramps.”

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, how could I forget. What would you like then?”

“Oh, anything you pick would be fine.”

OMG! I just wanted to whip out my ice pick and stab myself, repeatedly, through the eye! Now granted, I was the youngster in their territory but for pete’s sake, turn up the volume on your hearing aid so you can actually hear someone whisper, take your frigging diverticulitis meds before you to the movies, and with all that peeing going on, Depends might be the logical next step for the comfort of everyone involved!

Really fun movie actually. No one transformed into anything, no one was hungover or lost, or was going to die at the end. Ah, I need one of those from time to time but only with actors I like. And I never go to a movie with “Dance” or “Sing” in the title. You’re only asking for trouble then.

I think that my husband should have gone for the entertainment value of that alone. He wouldn’t care about missing the movie and he would have laughed his ass off.

I’m an equal opportunity hater. No matter your age, race, creed or religion, if you’re going to behave like an ass, I’m going to hate you. Fair is fair.

Tirade over.

Speaking of scumbags in movie theaters. I was watching “Moon” a few weeks ago and this guy sitting a few seats away from me turned in my direction quickly said “excuse me’ and then sneezed like a hurricain in my direction.
Thanks for the swine flu dude !!!

You’re killing me! Cut it out! ROTFL!

“So awesomely money making the first time now, see it again as you never have before – for the first time…again!”

“Don’t tell me there ain’t no motherf@#$ing snake handlers on this thing! Well bitch, today I’ll be handling me some motherf@#$ing snakes on this motherf@#$ing shuttle! Now shut up and fly like you mean it, before something comes up and bites you in the ass!”

“Some language may not be appropriate for children under the age of thirteen but if you want to bring your screaming baby into the movie theater, no problem. For some reason everyone will wait until you either finally have the good sense to realize that you’re being rude by thinking you’re the most important person in the theater and your baby has rights too!

Oh and by the way, we have really enjoyed your running commentary through out the entire movie. Particularly the screaming at the screen while your baby chimed in.

Using your Bluetooth earpiece with the constantly blinking blue light was no bother at all. Please don’t worry about using your cell phone in here and in a average tone of voice. We’re as certain as you are that you’re phone conversation is just as fascinating if not more so, than this movie. You shouldn’t have to miss an all important phone call just because people paid to see the same movie and you’re only one person. You’re number one! Have a nice day. ” God I hate people!

“300 million miles from earth,,,this time the snakes are weightless and they aint drinkin no Tang!”
“Well somebody get that mother***king floating snake out of my airlock !!!”
«Summer 2012»

The film will have loads of graphic language and violence but will still get a PG-13 rating.

I would soooo see Viper Moon over any remake !!!

ROTFL!

“Snakes on a train”? I mean, no air lock but having one installed would make about as much sense as a passenger plane carrying thousands of poisonous snakes that just happen to get loose.

What I love about Samuel L. Jackson is that he said he didn’t even read the script. As soon as he saw the title of ‘Snakes on a Plan’, he agreed to star in it. LOL

“Well somebody get these mother***king snakes out of my airlock !!!”

«Summer 2012»

What a great title for a horror movie!

That’s called a “re-run” not a generic statement.

Yada yada yada.

Darn it! Well, I knew it was in there somewhere. I should have taken my lazy fingers over to The IMDB and just looked the soundtrack.

Thanks for the info!