6 TV Personalities Who Would Survive ‘The Walking Dead’

Published 3 years ago by , Updated March 3rd, 2014 at 6:45 am,

televisions all star zombie survival team2 6 TV Personalities Who Would Survive The Walking Dead

This past October, AMC’s The Walking Dead infested the world. After premiering to over 5 million viewers, the television landscape has now experienced the same fanatic fervor that has resonated throughout the film world for over 50 years.

While many will say that they watch The Walking Dead for the wonderful storylines, amazing visual stylings and suspenseful cliffhangers, the real reason – whether you’ll admit to it or not – is that you want to be prepared for a zombie apocalypse, in case it actually happens.

Each episode, while entertaining as ever, provides viewers with even more insight into the zombie mythos and helps build your preparedness for the eventful day where the undead will walk among us.

Keeping with the theme of television’s zombie avengers, we searched through the vast television landscape and put together an all-star list of people who you’d want to have on your side in case of a zombie apocalypse.

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Criteria:

With any list, we have to use a set of rules in order to select these zombie survivalists. Here are ours:

  • It must be a real-life TV personality. Fictional characters aren’t allowed (Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural or Clark Kent from Smallville just wouldn’t be fair).
  • They must be the best possible choice for their specific role/ area of expertise (excluding “The Secret Weapon”).
  • They must be able to actually survive a zombie attack.

The Roles:

In any good zombie film, the characters are affectionately thrown into a set of familiar roles. These are the roles that we have chosen for our team:

  • “The Leader”
  • “The Expert”
  • “The Weaponizer”
  • “The Inventor”
  • “The Scavengers”
  • “The Secret Weapon”

With that, we give you television’s all-star zombie survival team.

Enjoy!

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The All-Star TV Personality Zombie Survival Team

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les stroud all star zombie 6 TV Personalities Who Would Survive The Walking Dead

“The Leader” – Les Stroud (Survivorman)

Who better to kick off the all-star zombie survival team of TV personalities (and fill the much need spot of a leader) than a man that risked his own life to show the television viewing audience how to survive in situations that (hopefully) nobody will ever find themselves in.

For three seasons and twenty-three episodes of Survivorman, Les Stroud has done as his series’ title suggests and survived in the Earth’s most barren landscapes, frigid snow-covered wildernesses and dangerous animal- laden territories.

More importantly, he did it alone.

As other television survival experts have brought controversy with staged situations, hidden flotation devices and comfortable nights sleeping in a hotel, Stroud has been stuck out in the middle of nowhere with a hefty bag of camera gear and left to survive on wits alone.

Sure, Stroud also carried a satellite phone, which could connect him with production crews that were dozens of miles away. Unfortunately, when you’re in the middle of nowhere, cell phone service – even of the satellite variety – isn’t as reliable as you may think.

While Stroud has never actually combated zombies, much of his survival knowledge will come in handy after the apocalypse turns your loved ones into the flesh-eating undead. Most importantly, and impressively, Stroud succeeded with the task of not only surviving, but doing so while also filming his endeavor – with multiple camera angles.

That type of production would be grueling on anyone in average circumstances, but while also having to survive on turtle feet and dirty water… it should have been impossible – that is, unless you were a clear-headed, advanced-planning Canadian like Les Stroud. For these reasons and all his accomplishments, Stroud is “The Leader” of our zombie survival team.

Check your local listing for reruns of Survivor and Beyond Survival with Les Stroud.

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Of course, even the best planning in the world wouldn’t be of any use without prior knowledge of what exactly you’re up against… They need “The Expert.”

Continue to find out who “The Expert” is…

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TAGS: the walking dead

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  1. HAHAHA great list Anthony. But I’ll admit..I HATE American Pickers with a passion. Some of the episodes I’ve seen just annoyed the hell out of me.

    • @Anthony

      THANK YOU! Those morons from American Pickers would definitely not survive. They are such a-holes and they don’t have any kind of survival skills that I can see. I can’t stand how they talk to that girl that dispatches them, they act like her job is so easy and they yell at her like it’s her fault that some people lie about what they have or what they’re willing to sell. My bet is they will either die or be turned into zombies within a day of the outbreak…

      • Funny thing is Ken, that girl can take those two twits. Ones to outta shape to have any stamina, the other weighs maybe a 100 pounds. easi;y breakabel.

  2. Excellent list. Kudos. :)

  3. Great list, beside having Les Stroud instead of Bear Grylls( THE GREATEST PERSON ALIVE!)He name is effin Bear! That alone totally meets leader criteria..and that he zip-lined down a cliff with a deer antler.

    • No Mythbusters?

      • I agree. They should be the inventors.

        • Having seen both shows I think they got it right with John Cohn. That guy was AMAZING, he even put MacGuyver to shame with what he made and the resources he had. He’s even got the crazy scientist quirks.

    • Bear doesn’t do half the stuff he claims to do, les is out there completely alone with no…no support. Heck Half the time Bear isn’t even in the place he claims to be

    • Nahh…as someone versed in real-life survival instruction, I have to burst your bubble a bit about Bear Grylls. His shows are more about entertainment than actual survival techniques that work and should be used by people in those situations. Les Stroud however..have to admit HE shows that some situations are just NOT survivable, he has failed in some of his shows. The truth hurts sometimes, humans can’t survive in some situations.

      HOWEVER, all that said, I would urge the inclusion of Ray Mears over either of them!

  4. Where’s Paula Deen?!?
    Or Simon Cowell?

    • They are among The Walking Dead

      • LMAO!!

  5. Bear grylles should have been the expert or leader

  6. Great list… I would subjectively disagree with the Scavengers — send them out for supplies and they’ll come back with rusty signs, half an antique bike and a slew of oil cans (the only usefull thing they would get).

  7. Where’s Bear Grylls and Gordon Ramsay?

    Gordon would scare the zombies just by yelling.
    “GET THE @%%^& GUNS!!! THE ZOMBIES ARE CLOSE YOU @#$%#$% DONKEY!!!”

  8. No Joe Rogan?

  9. My fellow Canadian Les Stroud is the leader over Bear Grylls because he did everything “ALONE”. Bear had a camera team and flotation devices you could see in his white water episode. Stroud went alone, had to place cameras, walk away, walk back and carry the cameras over somewhere else to get another shot. He is amazing and it is proof that he actually did it. Because after 3 seasons he hung up his boots to work on less grueling work while Bear kept going.

    Don’t get me wrong, I like Bear as well, his shows are entertaining and he does teach survival skills, but it is Les Stroud whom actually put himself in situations where he had to survive.

    • Couldnt agree more. I was very happy to see bear wasn’t on the list. http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/man-vs-wild-behind-the-climb.html
      Les is the man

    • Couldnt agree more. I was very happy to see bear wasn’t on the list.
      Les is the man. Bear is a phony. Check out the “behind the climb”on discovery.

      • Yet you both seem to forget that Bear Grylls was in the British SAS. Where was his camera crew to help him with that?? You guys can talk all of the crap you want from the comfort of your own home, Grylls obviously cannot know everything there is to know about every environment they put him in for the sake of the show. But the fact remains, he is a bad-ass survivor because he can survive the ultimate hunt in the ultimate wilderness. And that is the hunt for prey that can shoot back in their home turf.

        So until you can tell me that your own credentials top that, all I read is “blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.” :-P

  10. Never heard of any of these people lol

    • u kiddin me? lol

  11. I’ll have to disagree with the inclusion of those two morons from American Pickers. What survival skills do they have? The skinny guy is weak as heck and has a “bad back” that he whines about all of the time and the fat guy probably can’t run. Not to mention, they are such a-holes, I can’t stand them…

    And I also would have put Bear Grylls in this list somewhere, if you guys don’t want him, I’m definitely going to hang with him, lol. And Good call on Mike Rowe! Mike Rowe for president! lol.

    Remember brown before green guys, haha.

    • Mike Rowe is a damn awesome dude. Down to earth and just fun to watch

  12. No Ray Mears?!? Sorry this team is doomed to fail without him, I’ll go off and find him instead of these guys when the time comes. lol

  13. Really glad to see Les Stroud on the list. He deserves it. That said, in spite of the staged nature of Man vs. Wild, I still think of Bear Grylls as an incredibly skilled and capable survivalist and outdoorsman. He and Les Stroud would definitely be the top two choices for my group.

    Some others I’d want in my group:
    Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage. We could re-build society with those people.

    Some people that might not be as useful for practical survival and zombie fighting, but I might want in my group so I can protect them include:

    Some scientists like Jeff Corwin(biologist), Michio Kaku(theoretical physicist), and Neil DeGrasse Tyson(astrophysicist).

    Morgan Freeman has a science show now, so he’s another possibility. Don’t want that guy dying.

  14. I only see one problem with this team. So lets assume the team manages to survie the zombie apacolypsem, then they say “now we need to start reproducing…..OH CRAP!!”. Whoops no ladies on the team. Unless that inventor guy can invent some vaginas on the american pickers I think we’re still screwed.

    • …and now we begin the discussion of the invention of the plasty vag?? … oh man I nearly dropped a link… what was I thinking???

      :$…. thats the correct expression of stopping now and sensibly moving on

  15. Edit: And in Octo Mom that should fix things lol

  16. Oh come on… Peg Bundy/Gemma Morrow will make short work of those American Pickers and likely size up that Bear Grylles for all he is worth short of Al Bundy and Mr. Clay the Perlman of Anarchy…

    For that matter I really dont see any of the greatest elements of the http://www.zombielandrules.com/ coming from any of this Survival Elite…

    I would swear by the Zombieland rules personally speaking… So… at this point I prefer to assemble my own team of Survivalists:

    The Animated Team

    Dale from King of the Hill…The Weaponizer… Not without a fight
    Cartman from South Park…The Leader… We will not see another visionary such as this in our lifetime
    The Brain from ‘Pinky and The Brain’…The Expert… Got a better one?
    Lisa Simpson…The Inventor… She’s been there… She can handle it!
    Meatwad, Boris & Natasha…The Scavengers … How else can they have survived all that they have put themselves and everyone else through?
    Dr. Splitz/Splitzy… The Secret Weapon… He is capable of anything as a split personality orangatang from space…

    The Femme Fatales

    Dr. Miranda Bailey..The Leader. Did you ever once doubt her character or her ability?
    Dana Scully..The Expert. Do I really need to explain this?
    Det. Olivia Benson..The Weaponizer. That woman is waste not want not
    Abby Sciuto..The Inventor. Admit it you want her on your team when it gets bad
    Tracy Lords & Martha Steward ..The Scavengers. Surely they can get anything from anyone if it has some purpose and use
    Peg Bundy…The Secret Weapon… She will find a way to dominate

    • I am sure that Martha Stewart can bring a few more handy skills now that she has served her sentence amongst hardened criminals… snicker…

  17. bear grills i would have to say would be the top survivor. come on he’s a straight up bad ass!!

  18. No Daniel Craig?

  19. How did Cade Courtley of Surviving Disaster not make this list?

  20. GREAT list, but I would have added Jamie Hyneman of Mythbusters.

    • Ya know… I tend to agree. Perhaps it should have been 7 TV personalities instead of 6. :)

      Vic

  21. “For all his knowledge and real-world experience with mythical beasts, Josh Gates is” a bloody funny comedian! Keeping a straight face during these hilarious shows is quite a talent, it’s even more comical when we see some dim witted folks take it all seriously…too funny!

    • Well picked, but in order to save the world you missed out on a huge factors. Repopulating!! or a Doctor!!! or a BioChemist, a cure of the Zombie Virus would be nice!!! Just saying.

  22. The one thing this list is missing is WOMEN.

    • BM,

      So… who would you suggest while you’re busy throwing a rock at our list?

      Thanks,

      Vic

      • I’d also love to see more women listed. It’s a sad day when you realize that men are the most dominating TV personalities on TV right now….To balance the group, I’d also add:

        1. Rachel Maddow because she’s simply brilliant (and compassionate), and is great at analyzing what’s going on while convincing others to agree with her point of view
        2. Allison DuBois, the psychic portrayed in The Medium (there needs to be at least one good psychic on the team who can get unseen information and interpret it accurately for future strategic moves)
        3. Tabatha from Tabatha’s Salon Takeover because she can identify weaknesses/strengths of group members, initiate group change, and delegate responsibilities…she wouldn’t let the guys give her cr**

        • We had considered Jillian from The Biggest Loser, but couldn’t think of a category for her besides “bad-ass.” :-)

          Vic

          • Not to mention that Jillian’s publicist wasn’t all that thrilled about her being included in the list.

        • Yep, when I think about Rachel Maddow, I think compassionate. Without a doubt. Sheesh.

      • Hey…did you catch my lists Vic?

        • Must have missed it in the daily flood of comments.

          Vic

  23. I was disappointed that Uncle Ted Nugent wasn’t on the list.

  24. Where is Bear Grylls??

    • Yes! Bear! He’s the secret weapon, in my opinion!

      • Bear only makes it on there if he has a team of people assisting and pampering him… and at the end of each night in zombie land he gets a 4 star hotel room with a concierge

        • Word. Bear is a pansy compared to Les. Survivorman did it alone, no help. Always had the utmost respect for him and why Bear is simply second rate.

          • Yah, you guys are so right, I’m sure all of you have been in the SAS or in some sort of military special forces in order to call him a pansy right?? Right???? Oh, no, none of you?? Oh, now I’m confused…

            :-D

  25. Hey, here’s a list of six white males who are on TV!

    • Huey,

      Yes, you’re exactly right – the initial criteria for this list is that everyone on it had to be a white male. Truly, your powers of observation and detective skills are something to behold.

      Vic

  26. 1.Jesse Ventura
    2.& 3. Dave and Cody (from Dual Survival)
    4. Jessi Combs
    5&6.The Mythbusters

    • I would agree with dave and cody for sure. Their different views work great together.

  27. without a doubt, Michael Scofield from Prison Break would be the leader, forget Les Stroude, he’d be eaten in a day. Scofield is the man.

  28. I can respect some of those choices but the last two are more fun choice than anything else. I think the following should be on that list however:

    Arnold Schwarzenegger – “The Secret Weapon” He has played all the tough guy roles and he is damn smart. Did you know he has a degree in economics? Plus he IS “the Governor” after all HA :D

    R. Lee Ermey – “The Weaponizer” You might not know the name but you know him. He plays the grizzled Sergeant in all the war movies and is a Marine through and through. He might be 66 but he’s just too damn mean to succumb to a piddly zombie bite.

    Lucy Lawless – “Kick Ass Female” (new category :) The only woman I have seen in recent memory that actually looked like she knew how to use a sword in real life and not cheezy swordplay. Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger fame) would be a close 2nd, maybe a kick-assed female duo? Plus she would be the token “ethnic” person!

    Jamie Hyneman – “The Inventor”. He’s in better shape than Cohn although put Cohn in a protected environment and he could be dangerous. I would add Adam but we all know he would screw up and get bitten the first episode.

    RDA “MacGyver” – “The Expert”. Yeah I know he is only a character but he IS the perfect choice. :)

    • Sorry, RDA would be the “Inventor/Scavenger” (I want an edit function Vic!)

    • mongoose,

      LOL, yeah… I guess we’re seeing what good a degree in economics is in the real world. 8)

      Vic

  29. I like the list, but two changes I would make, just my opinion of course, I would have Bear Grylls as my secret weapon, talk all the trash you want about his show, but the man is SAS, and Ive been in the military for 10 years, to include a year in 3RD SF Group, and have worked with some SAS guys, and trust me, they are some of the baddest dudes on the planet, period. And for the inventor, I would have Jamie from Myth Busters, I loved John Cohn, but he is older and slower, and would slow down the group, in Zombiepocalypse, gotta keep moving. Other than that, fun list.

    • Oh, and one other change, instead of the American Pickers, because of my “gotta keep moving rule” I would have Kari, Tory, and Grant from Myth Busters as my scavengers.

    • I agree about Bear Grylls, all of these trash talkers probably wouldn’t even qualify to get into the military without having to go through “fat camp” first, much less get into selection and pass into special forces and they are calling someone who was SAS a “pansy.” LOL, makes me laugh to myself. You don’t need to survive out in the arctic with nothing but a pocket-knife and a shoe string to survive a zombie apocalypse, Bear Grylls possesses enough survival skills taught to him by the military as well as the self-defense and offensive skills to fight off zombies and/or aggressive survivors trying to steal his stuff… If something like this would happen, these nay-sayers can have Les Stoud, I’m sure they’ll learn how to build a hammock out of tree branches, I’ll grab my guns and hang out with Bear Grylls, thanks.

      • Why just one and not the other? I’d take both.

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