Meet The Expendables!

Published 5 years ago by , Updated June 29th, 2009 at 7:14 pm,

expendablesposterbig 440x652 Meet The Expendables!

Sylvester Stallone’s upcoming tough-guy action movie throwback film, The Expendables, has been a holy grail of awesomeness for action flick fans everywhere. The cast includes some the genre’s most famous names, including Stallone, Jet Li, Jason Statham Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren,  “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Randy Couture, Eric Roberts and Arnold Schwarzenegger (in a cameo appearance). There’s now even rumor that Bruce Willis will make an appearance in the film.

Up until now everybody’s been aware of which actors would be in The Expendables – but what roles are they going to be playing? Who are the good guys and who are bad guys? Who will be facing off against who? Well, now have a breakdown of who is who and what is what in the bullet-ridden world of The Expendables.

The info comes our way courtesy of The Playlist, which snagged a copy of The Expendables shooting script and spilled the goods to us, the curious public. Most of what you’re about to read is just character synopsis, but for some it could be considered SPOILERS, so be wary.

Rather than mooch off ALL the hard work done by The Playlist, I’ll give you the character synopses of The Expendables‘ headlining stars, Sly Stallone, Jason Statham and Jet Li, and then link you to the rest of the info. Here are the three major players:

expendables posters3 Meet The Expendables!

Barney Ross (Sly Stallone): Stallone doesn’t write much about him, but his interactions with the other characters explain much without dialogue. Essentially, Ross is by far the oldest of the group, and as such is sort of a mentor to the others. he has individual scenes with each character, where they all end up revealing their insecurities to him through rambling, stop-start macho dialogue. Ross isn’t interested in playing armchair psychiatrist, but rather smoothing out the bumps so that the mission could go smoothly. There’s no origin or flashbacks for this or any other character, and you know Stallone “gets it”- everything you need to know is on the page.

Lee Christmas (Jason Statham): Second-in-command- takes it upon himself to bust every one’s balls, which carries a nice, compensatory weight when we learn he’s having terrible relationship problems with the his flaky lady love Lacy (Charisma Carpenter). He’s also lethal with knives, and carries the most sour disposition of the group – expect scowling.

Bao Thao (Jet Li): A private sort, the Chinese martial artist uses his feet as often as his guns. He is the most lonely of the Expendables, and clearly doesn’t seem to be friends with many of them. He takes quiet moments to speak about his displeasure with their jobs and how he wants a larger cut to sponsor his own charity.

Those are the top dawgs, but if you want to know more about who The Expendables are and what the film is all about, you’ll have to go here.

After a quick read of The Playlist‘s review of the shooting script, I’m proud to report that The Expendables is looking like it’s going to deliver exactly the kind of movie you hope it would. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, seems to have plenty of tongue-n-cheek moments, as well as varied forms of ass-whupping incorporating everything from martial arts to knives to good ol’ fashioned bullets. Oh and plenty of explosions, as we’ve seen in the behind-the-scenes video clips. If this film ends up PG-13 (which is a possibility), don’t be surprised if you hear the loudest societal groan in known history.

The Expendables is still at the top of my list of “films to see in ’10″. It will shoot its way into theaters everywhere on April 23, 2010.

Source: The Playlist

TAGS: the expendables

18 Comments

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  1. this looks like something sooo stupid that you might as well throw in John Cena

  2. “this looks like something sooo stupid that you might as well throw in John Cena” You might want to consider what action films are and reconsider your answer. Stallone in the same film as cena? stallone = legend in the action genre cena = failed in the action genre

  3. Looks awesome!!!! And anyone mentioning that douchebag , ubonics jibbering, make believe white gangster from an affluent Boston Suburb in the same sentence as Stallone is an A-hole

    Most of our youth culture is too stupid and amped up on riddlin to appreciate this film in theaters because it will likely have interesting characters and at least some plot rather than the video game cutscenes which now pass for William Faukliner gravitas, but I bet it breaks home video records.

  4. THIS WILL BE VERY COOL.

  5. How come you guys havent reported the casting of 1 cameo appearence of Bruce Willis? Yep he’s in guys

  6. Wow, tasouli makes him/herself look like more of a tool with each post. Comparing Sly to a crappy wrestler. Have you ever WATCH a Sylvester Stallone film? Sly Stallone is to action movies as Mel Brooks is to comedy. John Cena is to action movies as Carrot Top is to comedy.

    This is one of my most anticipated movies of next year, along with Iron Man 2. It’s going to kick major butt!!

  7. @ Lee Seymour

    After some quick fact-checking I added a mention of a Willis appearance. Thanks for the tip!

  8. Hail Lord Garth!!! Well put, sir…

  9. Lord Garth, you rule!
    Full on hate on John Cena. A terrible wrestler and worse actor, he really is the new Hulk Hogan of this generation.

  10. Did someone actually compare John Cena to Stallone? That was a joke, right? Sly is among the top stars in action movies and I have only seen Cena in 1 film (The Marine), and it was not good. Are there any films starring John Cena that are good?

  11. Your welcome kofi.outlaw its the least I could do, now if only Van damme said yes, Snipes didnt tick off the government and Segal liked the producer we’d be gettin these guys together, oh well guess sequel could have them right, maybe even Vin Diesel, Roland Kickenger, chuck norris, Michael Ironside, Clancy Brown, ARNIE’S FRIEND WHO DIES IN ALL HIS FILMS, The Rock, John Cena, Jackie Chan, Mark Dasacos, Ray Stevenson, and the original cast and we are A.O.K

  12. just watch… this film will have a sweet marketing campaign (lionsgate, c’mon) but the content will suck hard. notice none of the sites that talk about this film ever mention the script being even slightly worthwhile.

    pg-13 for sure.

  13. this is going to be a great movie im 30 i miss classic action movies from the 80s like commando and rambo this is like a throwback to old school action i love it no adays they stick a wrestler or some no name actor in a movie and it sucks or it goes straight to dvd i think its a plus for classic action fans that miss s**t blowing up the people that are hating on this movie are nerds or teens that are use to watching wwe action movies.

  14. But where is Chuck Norris?

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