For years now there have been rumors of a fourth Jurassic Park film. The first three have made an absolute killing at the box office, so it’s quite surprising that there hasn’t been a great deal of movement on a new installment.

I watched the first (and best) Jurassic Park recently and I was surprised at how well it looks, almost fifteen years later. Fifteen years, man do I feel old. The Lost World was a terrible film, and the book is even worse. I hope that to this day, Steven Spielberg and Michael Crichton feel ashamed for being behind such terrible work. Jurassic Park III wasn’t bad, but the ending seemed to be missing. It’s almost as if Joe Johnston decided to drop a reel, Grindhouse style.

Talk about beating a dead horse (or is that milking a dead cow?)… The rumor (one can only hope this is a rumor) is that Jurassic Park 4 is moving forward and that in this sequel the government will train the dinosaurs to use weapons.

(pause for awkward silence)

I kid you not, at least accoring to Bloody-Disgusting.com. They also said that Laura Dern will be back but that Sam Neill won’t (good call, Sam).

I guess that a velociraptor or a T-Rex just isn’t dangerous enough on it’s own.