He’s finally gone.

The haters will be happy and hordes of 12-13 year girls (and Howard Stern) will be in mourning for a while.

This past Tuesday was country music night and last night’s vote (with the exception of Blake in the bottom three) went pretty much as expected. It was so bloody obvious that Melinda is at the top of the class that Ryan Seacrest singled her out, since it would have been too obvious which group was NOT the bottom half if she was part of it.

In a strange, cosmic confluence of events Sanjaya Malakar just keeps hanging in there as a contestant on American Idol. It’s amazing to me the amount of emotion that this kid is generating on both sides of the equation. I guess it’s a sign that we’re not doing too terribly in our personal lives if we can get this worked up about a contestant on a talent show.

Is it strange? Sure. Should he still be in the competition? Probably not. But somehow he is outlasting contestants who seem to have better singing skills.

How has he been able to mange this…?

I haven’t written anything about this season’s American Idol, but it’s certainly been interesting so far. To date we’ve had:

- The Antonella Barba photographs story.

- Rosie O’Donell calling the show racist and “weightist” (gotta love those made up words) despite the fact that Lakisha Jones is both black and overweight and she’ll finish no lower than number two.

- A huge disparity in talent between the top two or three contestants and everyone else.

It’s pretty obvious that there will probably be no guys in the final three. I suppose one of them may make it to the final four, but if the public is not clueless (no guarantee of that) it should be either Lakisha Jones or Melinda Doolittle that walk away with the title. Of course regardless of whether either of those super-talented ladies win, their lives are already changed forever since they will get recording contracts either way.

Wow… say what you want about Simon Cowell, but he’s right when he says that one weak night can send you home.

Chris Daughtry was sent home last night and it was obvious that he was stunned. Truth be told, so was I. My family was really pulling for the guy, and yes, even voting every week.

I thought his performance on Tuesday (Elvis night) was not very outstanding and that came back to bite him. Especially since in a category like that he should have (excuse the pun) rocked.

No worries though as I’m absolutely sure the guy will get snatched up for a record contract, if he hasn’t been already.

So I guess now I’m pulling for dark horse Taylor. I always wanted to see him go at least final three, but who knows? Maybe his unconventional and fun style will win everyone over.

Now Elliot I just can’t figure still being there. Sure, great voice, but American Idol? Naaaah.

It’s funny how the entertainment world works. First, William Hung is singled out on American Idol as one of the worst singers of the past season. Then everybody starts tripping over themselves about his sincerity, his determination and his laid-back, “can-do” attitude. Next thing you know, he’s appearing on just about every talk show you can imagine. I can almost swear I saw footage of him on The Arsenio Hall Show, and that show was cancelled 12 years ago. To say the guy is ubiquitous would be an understatement. Well, lately his TV exposure has dropped to only two or three appearances every day, so it seems his 15 minutes are drawing to a close. Except…

It’s not over yet. People are still reeling about the fact that William was signed to a record deal, despite the fact that many of the people who made it into the American Idol finals weren’t even afforded that luxury. Not only that, but the album has actually sold more than 300,000 copies worldwide. The guy has been lucky, to say the least, but it’s not stopping there. This year, prepare yourself for William’s sophomore effort — a Christmas album. It seems to be an immutable law of nature that every single musical artist must record a Christmas album at some point. I’m still in therapy for the time I accidentally saw one of Mariah Carey’s Christmas videos on MTV.

Oh, Fantasia, showbiz can be so cruel, can’t it? Even if you’re an American Idol winner, life isn’t exactly served up on a silver platter. If you’re wondering what life is like after you win American Idol, the answer would probably be something along the lines of “very stressful.” After all, you have just been crowned the Grand Poobah of the #1 show on TV. For your follow-up work to be anything less than record-breaking is unimaginable. Did Fantasia have anything to worry about? After all, Simon rarely had anything other than tremendous praise for her during the competition. He even went so far as to tell her that she was quite possibly the best contestant ever to appear on any season of American Idol, which is very high praise indeed. The problem is, America didn’t quite agree with him 100%.

In its first week of release, Fantasia’s single “I Believe” sold about 140,000 copies. This was enough to knock Usher from the #1 spot. That’s the good news. The bad news is that her single is the second lowest in first-week sales among all American Idol winners and runners-up. The lowest was Diana Degarmo’s single, “Dreams,” which sold 65,000 copies. In other words, this year’s “winners” performed worse than any other season. The total of Fantasia and Diana’s first-week sales didn’t add up to Kelly Clarkson’s first-week sales of her single. For a long time, the running joke has been that Diana is headed down the same career path as Justin Guarini. (Just to give you an idea, William Hung’s album sold better than Justin’s.) Worst of all, neither Fantasia nor Diana has received much radio play since the release of their singles.

I don’t think it came as a surprise to anyone other than 13-year-old teeny boppers that Fantasia won Season 3 of American Idol. Not bad, considering that she barely escaped being voted off halfway through the finals. She is the youngest person to win (she’s 19), as well as the third southerner (she’s from North Carolina). This was a bland, underwhelming ending to a bland, underwhelming season. I didn’t exactly keep it a secret that once George and LaToya were voted off, there wasn’t much excitement in it for me anymore. I suppose I might have liked to see Diana win, but I didn’t think it was going to happen. Despite all the booing in the audience, I think America takes Simon’s comments very seriously when they vote.

Okay, now I will put on my peanut gallery hat and spew forth some choice comments regarding this finale.

1) George, for the love of all that which does not suck, stop singing “Me and Mrs. Jones.” For one thing, it’s about an extramarital affair — not an appropriate choice for a self-proclaimed evangelist to sing. Besides, Billy Paul sang that 100 times better than you. You’re a great singer, but that’s not the right song for you.

Well little Jasmine from Hawaii finally took her leave from American Idol last night. I guess viewers wanted the two who really deserved it to go on, and jammed the phone lines to make up for the massive voting from Hawaii that brought Jasmine to the final three.

Really, La Toya should have had a shot last night, but them’s the breaks. I’m not crying over it because I’m sure that she will be getting a juicy record contract anyway. I don’t know that I can say the same about Jasmine. She gave it a great shot, but she’s not in the same league as the others.

As much as I like Diana DeGarmo, I think Fantasia is the next American Idol. It won’t bother me either… she seems to have really toned done the arrogant routine and looks like she’s now geniunely thankful she’s gotten this far.

I say best of luck to all of ‘em.

American Idol Website

Wednesday’s American Idol was both interesting and frustrating at the same time. My initial guess was that Jasmine and Fantasia would be in the bottom two, and Jasmine would go home. I was right about Fantasia, but America chose to spare Jasmine this week, and yet again, LaToya was undeservedly in the bottom group. To my (and many other people’s) surprise, LaToya was voted off the show. I’ll come back to that in a minute…

Why is disco night always such a mess for American Idol contestants? There are only a handful of people who have really stood out on disco night; the rest file it under “things I never want to talk about again.” Even the guest judge/performer, Donna Summer, choked a little bit on one of her own songs. I know she’s not exactly a teenager, so we have to cut her a little slack, but I bet Giorgio Moroder was watching that, thinking, “Now people understand the difference a good producer can make.”

Okay, now it’s time for some tough love. Wednesday’s show was a disjointed disaster from start to finish. Towards the beginning, the finalists met with a psychic to lend them moral support. No offense to anyone who believes in that sort of thing, but every time a show features a psychic, I have flashbacks of Dionne Warwick and Erik Estrada. I can’t take that stuff seriously. I would have done a better job of predicting the end. “It’s your future… I see… a stupid video of a cheesy cover tune… wait… followed by… okay, it’s becoming clearer… yes… a bloated, unsatisfying finale!” They went to commercial break every two minutes, it seemed like. I hear there was an actual show in between the commercials, but I can’t get confirmation on that. Besides Donna Summer, who didn’t exactly raise the roof, Clay Aiken was also a guest performer. He performed Fantasy by Earth, Wind and Fire, which isn’t really a true disco song. I suppose that was a smart move, though, because anyone who saw last season knows that Clay doesn’t sing disco well at all. Add a few dozen commercial breaks, and finally we hear that Diana and Jasmine were the top two, while Fantasia and LaToya were the bottom two. I had hoped that the ever-annoying Fantasia would be going home, but sadly, LaToya had to take this particular bullet.

For a long time, I had really hoped that LaToya and George would face off in the final show. That would have been exciting. But as it stands right now, I can’t feel excited about the show anymore. All my favorites are gone, and only wannabes and posers remain. In my heart of hearts, I cannot fathom Jasmine winning this. I honestly believe America has more common sense than that, so it’s down to Fantasia and Diana. Vic has been saying this for weeks, and I haven’t agreed, but tonight I have to concede that Diana might actually win this. Even if she does, though, it won’t be as exciting as if LaToya or George had won. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that LaToya is right up there with Dorothy Dandridge and Billie Holliday. She’s that good. Like George, she was one of the finest singers ever to appear on American Idol, but unlike George, she was very savvy about which songs she chose so that her choices would showcase her talents in the best way. We haven’t seen the last of LaToya; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if quite a few contestants from this season end up with record deals.

If Diana wins, she will be the youngest of all the winners (Kelly Clarkson was 20, Ruben Studdard was 24 and Diana is 16), and she will continue the tradition of having a Southerner win the competition (Kelly Clarkson is from Texas, Ruben Studdard is from Alabama and Diana is from Georgia). But I’ll say it again: This competition has officially become much less exciting, at least for me. I think the fact that LaToya’s farewell performance was one of her big band songs from a week ago, rather than the traditional repeat of a song she sang the night before (which were disco songs), said it all.

Brian

As soon as I heard that the theme on Tuesday’s American Idol was going to be big band, I feared that George was going to choke on that musical style and end up going home. The good news is that he actually did much better than I thought he would. The bad news is that he received the fewest votes Wednesday, helping me to maintain my reputation as the worst oddsmaker on the planet. Vic has been calling them right, while I have been… well, let’s just say it’s a good thing I still have a day job.

Ironically, if John Stevens had lasted another week (heaven forbid), he might have actually shown some genuine musical talent with his big band performances. But compared to LaToya…? No contest.

I was disappointed to see George go, not just because he failed to step up and show us what he could do, but also because there aren’t any guys left in the competition. It feels like the battle of the divas now, and I think I speak for almost everybody when I say that The Apprentice had enough diva nonsense for one lifetime.

I don’t see how Diana or Jasmine will win this. For one thing, Jasmine is not very good. She was the worst singer on Tuesday, hands down. Paula likes her, but the other two judges have lukewarm things at best to say about her. Diana is more talented than Jasmine, but Simon doesn’t want her to win. He thinks she’s too young (she’s 16), and on Tuesday he called her a 16-year-old who sounds like a 50-year-old. He wants Fantasia or LaToya to win this, and I think he will get his wish.

Just for once, I want to see America vote for someone totally off the wall, just to stick it to the judges and let them know who’s in charge. (Actually, that sort of happened two years ago when tone-deaf Nikki McKibbin made it to #3). Sadly, I don’t think that will happen this year. It’s looking like LaToya will win this. Fantasia is just too creepy and annoying in my book, and Diana and Jasmine aren’t good enough. We shall see…

Brian

At long last, America did the humane thing and put John Stevens out of his misery. Tuesday night’s musical atrocities were committed against Gloria Estefan, who guest judged. All of the contestants were way off their game, painfully proving that Latin music is not as easy as it looks (or sounds).

I have never really been a big fan of Gloria Estefan. I thought most of her songs were overrated and overplayed. It’s partly that I’m not really into that kind of music, but also I didn’t perceive her as extremely talented. I have to say, though, she could run musical circles around any of those contestants when it comes to Latin music.

Remember how I was saying last week that Jennifer kept getting better and better with each passing week? Jasmine has done just the opposite. Every week she seems to get worse and worse. Her performance on Tuesday was downright painful to hear. She should be very thankful that she’s coming back next week. And what a difference a couple of months makes for Fantasia. In the “Final 32″ auditions, Simon couldn’t say enough good things about her. On Tuesday, he told her she sounds like Donald Duck on helium. D’oh! I’m guessing she has a week or two left before she gets voted off. One can only hope…

The dents in George’s armor are starting to show. For the first time in the finals, he was in the bottom three. Incredibly, Jasmine got more votes than he did. Could George be on the way out? Maybe, but this year the voting reminds me of most internet stocks in 1998-1999. Up 20% one day, down 10% the next. LaToya and Fantasia were in the bottom three last week; this week they were in the top three. There’s almost no consistency of any kind in the voting results. For that reason, it’s just downright silly to be predicting a winner, but do you think that’s going to stop me?

I’m still standing by my main man, George, to win this. I think the final showdown will be between him and LaToya. Jasmine and Diana are not talented enough, and Fantasia acts and sounds annoying beyond what mere words can express.

A quick side note about Elton John’s comments about racism in last week’s results: This wasn’t about race. There are two things that matter most to America: personality and singing talent, not always in that order. John Stevens is a cool guy, but he can’t sing, so he had to go. Jennifer is a great singer, but she has an abrasive personality, so she had to go. In a similar vein, I think Fantasia’s days are numbered. She’s a very good singer, but she is one of the most stuck up and obnoxious contestants ever to make it into the finals. Despite what Ryan Seacrest and the judges would have the public believe, it takes more than just singing talent to win.

Brian

Those of you who missed Tuesday’s American Idol and Wednesday’s results show really missed out. Seriously. With only a couple of exceptions, all the contestants were in top form. I had guessed that the “Bottom Three” would be John Stevens, George Huff and Jasmine Trias. Generally, it’s not terribly hard to guess at least two of the bottom three, but this time, I was wrong on all three.

I had just spent the past day lamenting my early prediction that George would win the competition. He and John Stevens got their butts handed to them by the judges for lackluster performances, while the women got big points, even Diana. How could George compete against powerhouses like LaToya, Fantasia and Jennifer? (Simon told LaToya he thought she could win the competition.) Incredibly, those three just happened to be tonight’s bottom three, and Jennifer got her walking papers soon afterward. She’s been getting better every week, Elton John called her the best of the group, and she hit it out of the ballpark Tuesday, so of course it made sense that she should be voted off. Yeesh…

The American public is quite fickle, so I’m trying not to read too much into these results, but I remain convinced that America doesn’t want a “diva” to win this year. After that, who’s left? Diana? Please… Jasmine? Don’t make me laugh. John Stevens? America is playing some sort of practical joke on him. He needs to go home. He knows it, we know it, everybody knows it. The only logical choice remaining is George, but he’ll need to seriously polish his singing chops from here on out. Choking once is understandable, twice is perhaps forgivable, but three times could send him packing. He’s already screwed up twice; he’s run out of mulligans. For now, I stand by my prediction that George will win this year.

I had a side note about Tuesday’s theme. I have never been a big fan of Barry Manilow, but I have to say the guy is a musical genius. Not only is he a gifted singer and songwriter, but I was really impressed by how well he directed and coached the singers. He’s the only musical guest star I’ve seen on that show who took the time to work with the contestants and make sure they sang his music the right way. Did my ears deceive me, or did the usually-bland John Stevens actually sound good for about the first 30 seconds before he ran “Mandy” into the ground?

It’s still anybody’s game, but things aren’t looking good for LaToya and Fantasia. LaToya has been in the bottom three twice now, and Fantasia barely beat out Jennifer to survive on Wednesday. Not a good situation for the supposed “odds-on favorites.”

Brian

I don’t think there are too many people who disagree with the assertion that Tamyra Gray should have won the first season of American Idol, rather than Kelly Clarkson. After a few acting gigs, the public started to see less and less of her, and people started wondering if she would ever get the chance to record an album. Nearly two years after she was voted off American Idol, she is finally coming out with an album. In comparison, it took William Hung (who admits he can’t sing a note in tune) less than four months to release his album.

Why is that?

I have read several articles in various publications that dared to postulate that the decline in CD sales over the past few years owes itself less to piracy (which is certainly a factor) than to the outright absence of real, genuine stars. Is Britney a star? Sure… everybody’s watching her Toxic video to see her singing ability. What about Enrique Iglesias? The guy has Anna Kournikova in his videos for a reason… people aren’t watching to see him. (I heard Anna plays tennis on occasion; is that true?) What about Ricky Martin? Please… name a major hit he had in the U.S. other than the infernal Livin’ La Vida Loca. Oh, right… She Bangs, but that was mostly after William Hung sang it. I suppose Norah Jones might be considered a star, but even she is more about musical talent than personality.

It wasn’t very surprising to see Camile voted off American Idol on Wednesday. Ironically, her farewell performance was not too shabby. If she had done that well on Tuesday, she might still be in the running. Pop is obviously not her musical style, so she needed to go. What I found surprising was how poorly most of the contestants performed on Tuesday. Some of the performances were downright embarassing to watch.

Even the supposedly “untouchable” Fantasia gave a substandard performance. LaToya was in one of the top groups Wednesday, but wasn’t it just a week or two ago that she was in the bottom three? Those Americans can be a fickle bunch, can’t they? Diana was deservedly in the bottom three after her horrendous performance. Newsflash, sweetheart: Walking through the audience doesn’t make a bad performance sound any better. Oh, and Jasmine, how does it feel to finally be in the bottom three? Ha! Where was that arrogant, plastered-on smile this time?

If I were John Stevens, I would be really scared right now. He is the worst of the remaining male contestants, and after Simon compared his performance to Ed Wood’s movie Plan 9 from Outer Space, how long can he really expect to stay? Jon Peter Lewis is trying to hold on, but there’s no way he can stand up to George Huff’s talent and popularity. Speaking of which…

You read it here first: George Huff will win the competition this year. He is immensely popular, and he is the only contestant of either gender who has been consistently excellent week after week. Sure, his dance moves need work, but have you seen Ruben Studdard’s or Clay Aiken’s dance moves? Yikes… If I’m wrong, I’ll step up and admit it. I know it’s a little early to be calling this, but I honestly think Fantasia and LaToya (the current odds-on favorites) are headed down the same path as Howard Dean.

Brian

I thought it would be fun to start a thread on what American Idol judge Simon Cowell would most likely say to some of the musical stars we’ve come to know and love (or not) if they tried out for the show.

Here goes… feel free to add your own.

Whitney Houston: “You have a good singing voice, but you can’t dance. Plus, if I’m being honest, you look a bit frumpy, and the kind of star we’re looking for will have the right combination of talent and image. You have talent, but the image isn’t quite there.”

Bono (lead singer of U2): “Terrible. Abysmal. You sound like a goose getting strangled. If I were to put you through to the next round, the music industry would implode.”

Mick Jagger: “You shout all your songs, and you don’t have much in the looks department. There is nothing about you that says ‘Idol’ to me.”

Prince: “Your singing skills are good when you’re not screaming your lungs out. If I’m being honest, you look a little weird; your image needs work.”

Michael Jackson: “You sing everything too high, and don’t even get me started on your image. You look like Joan Crawford two years after the funeral. If I put you through to the next round, Fox will go out of business in a week.”

Sean “Puffy” Combs: “That was one of the worst auditions I have ever had to sit through. You can’t sing, you can’t dance. We’re looking for the best, and if you think you’re even close to that league, you’re delusional.”

Aretha Franklin: “You have a great singing voice, but if you really want to make it in this business, you need to lose a few pounds.”

Britney Spears: “Fantastic. Superb. You are the American Idol. You are a star.”