Screen Rant » 0 star movies

Dragonball: Evolution Review

Ross Miller — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 01:20:09 +0000

Short version: Dragonball: Evolution is a badly written film with horrible dialogue, lackluster action and a sense of fun that’s nowhere to be found.

Screen Rant’s Ross Miller reviews Dragonball: Evolution

When you head to the theater to see a movie called Dragonball: Evolution, you obviously aren’t expecting Shakespeare. From the advertising, the whole thing gives off a feeling of light, campy, action-packed fun that you would hope would allow you to just sit back, relax and turn off your brain for 90 minutes or so.

Yeah, well, that’s why we have words like “hope” as a counterpoint to “guarantee.”

Dragonball: Evolution may very well be one of the worst films of the past 12 months or so – I am actually struggling to think of the last movie I thought was quite as bad as this one was. And it’s not ...

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The Spirit Review

Vic Holtreman — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 04:10:18 +0000

Short version: The Spirit is two hours of your life that you’ll never get back.

Screen Rant reviews The Spirit

Wow.

That’s the first word that comes to mind as I think about The Spirit. It’s an example of a movie that just leaves me plain dumbfounded. It’s so awful that I’m completely in the dark as to how a movie like this can ever actually get funded, produced and make it into movie theaters.

The very first line of dialog spoken in the movie was utterly cheesy – and that set the tone for the entire movie. I wasn’t sure what I was in for… I’d seen the footage and the trailers and it ALL looked horribly bad, but I thought that there might be something else to the film that either wasn’t being conveyed in the ...

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Review: Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem

Vic Holtreman — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 01:07:02 +0000

By Vic Holtreman

Short version: I didn’t think it was possible, but AVP-R is worse than the previous Aliens vs Predator movie.

Abandon all hope ye who enter a movie theater that is showing Aliens vs Predator: Requiem.

It’s that bad. I kid you not. As first time directors, “The Brothers Strauss” (as they are referred to in the credits) are great visual effects guys. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with ways to tell you just how depressingly awful this movie is, but I’ll do my best.

Within minutes of the start of the film I was bored and my mind started to wander. It opens aboard a Predator ship, where a dead comrade is presumably being transported to the home world directly after the events of the last film. ...

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Review: The Rules of Attraction

Brian Rentschler — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 19:06:00 +0000

By Brian Rentschler

Short version: This movie was so bad that it was almost painful to watch.

I was more than a little stunned after seeing this movie. Not just because it was one of the worst movies I had ever seen, but also because of who was involved in it. Most of the cast ranged from competent to top-notch, and the writer/director was Roger Avary. For those of you who aren’t familiar with that name, he was a co-writer for Beowulf, which received a positive review right here on Screen Rant. He also collaborated with Quentin Tarantino to come up with the stories for one of my all-time favorite movies, Pulp Fiction. Besides that, I had recently seen the movie adaptation of American Psycho (which, like this movie, is an ...

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Review: Boat Trip

Brian Rentschler — Sat, 23 Jul 2005 07:36:00 +0000

By Brian Rentschler

Short version: This movie was so unspeakably awful that I’m almost tempted to sue Artisan Entertainment for pain and suffering. Every scene is either incredibly offensive, awkwardly unfunny or both. Don’t waste your time or money on this unwatchable crapfest.

As a general rule, I try to reserve ratings of 5/5 stars for movies that really hit it out of the park in all aspects. Likewise, I try to reserve ratings of 0/5 stars for movies that have no redeemable qualities to them whatsoever. Most movies are somewhere in between; there’s usually something that you can glean from a movie, no matter how bad it was. However, Boat Trip has received the dubious honor of a zero-star rating from me. There is literally nothing worthwhile ...

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Review: Timeline

Vic Holtreman — Tue, 03 Aug 2004 05:43:43 +0000

By Vic Holtreman

(Yes, that’s 0 stars)

Short version: Don’t waste your time on this pitiful excuse for a time travel movie that is terrible in every way: acting, dialogue, music, and plot.

If at some point over the last few days you’ve done something that you might be feeling guilty about… something particularly mean and nasty…. bad enough that you feel you deserve to be punished in some way…

Then I highly recommend you rent Timeline and force yourself to sit through the entire thing.

I read the book by Michael Crichton when it first came out and actually enjoyed it quite a bit since I’m a huge fan of time travel stories. The one stray thought I had as I read the book, and I remember this quite clearly, was that I felt like I was reading a story that was not written as a novel, but written as a novelization ...

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