In the world of superheroes, there are some who take the top prize as the most powerful beings in the universe. They are equipped with super strength, telekinesis, and some even have the ability to alter reality itself. There is no denying that these superheroes can change the course of history and make the world a better place. They radiate power because they are powerful.
On the other hand, there are superheroes that seem incredibly gifted at first glance, but once you take a second to think about their powers and abilities, they actually really aren’t that impressive. Sure, it would be nice to have just about any superpower, but these heroes leave a lot to be desired. Some heroes are gifted with magnificent powers, but others just simply can’t measure up to their more superpowered counterparts.
With that in mind, here are 15 Superheroes Who Seem Really Strong But Are Actually Worthless.
15. War Machine
In Iron Man’s canon there exists a puzzling man named James Rhodes, who goes by the moniker, “War Machine“. James Rhodes is equipped with his very own, specialized suit designed and created by Tony Stark. That seems pretty rad, right? Who wouldn’t want a suit that can do basically everything Iron Man can do?
Well, that’s the problem with James Rhodes. The reason Iron Man works for Tony Stark is because Stark is the creator and inventor of the suit. If he needs to upgrade it, or build another one, he can do just that. Rhodes is just a military man in an Iron Man suit. He can’t fix his own suit, so if something goes wrong, he needs to go to Stark to help fix it. At that point, he’s just like any of us in an Iron Man suit.
Not to mention that Tony Stark has shown the ability to create fully autonomous Iron Man suits, so why does anyone need to be inside one anyway? War Machine is just a less impressive and less useful Iron Man.
Doorman’s powers and abilities come from his ability to tap into the Darkforce Dimension. Whoa. Sounds pretty legit, right? And the fact that Doorman has been a part of the Great Lakes Avengers would signify that he must have some purpose. Unfortunately for Doorman, his powers are pretty useless when you consider their limitations.
You see, Doorman has the ability to transport his enemies anywhere in the known universe… so long as the place he is teleporting them is the room next to the one they are currently in. That’s right, Doorman can only teleport someone to one room over. Add in the fact that he needs to use his body as the vessel through which he teleports his assailant, and you end up with a pretty awful super hero.
Here’s another superhero with the ability to teleport, but with incredible limitations. Davis Cameron, aka Slipstream, has been a member of the heralded superhero team, the X-Men, but nothing about his superpowers would seem to warrant a place on the squad.
Get this — In order for Slipstream to teleport, he needs to create something called a “Warp Wave” via his incredible surfboard. That’s right, this dude is a surfer. He also can teleport people with him, but he needs to concentrate super hard, otherwise they will teleport somewhere they might not want to end up. Seems a bit risky.
What makes Slipstream even more useless is the fact that the X-Men already have multiple teleporting mutants who are far superior. One of the most famous and recognizable mutants, Nightcrawler, is a much more impressive teleporting superhero and he doesn’t need to make use of a weird surfboard in order to access his powers.
Dazzler first appeared alongside the X-Men in 1980, which makes no sense to anyone at all considering she is known as the “Disco Superhero.” That’s right, Dazzler is a big fan of disco music; a genre that went out of style quite a while before her comics debut.
Anyway, Dazzler’s super power is that she can convert sound vibrations into light and energy beam, which makes her about as useful as the bluetooth speaker you have that produces light to go along with the pulse of your music. Sure, her light shows can “dazzle” her enemies, blind them, or even hypnotize them for a bit, but you know what else can do that? A flash-bang grenade. Dazzler is as powerful as anyone in possession of a flash-bang grenade.
11. Stone Boy
As part of the DC comics universe, Stone Boy holds the distinct honor of being one of the most worthless superheroes in their canon. Once again, on the surface, this dude seems pretty legit. He has the ability to change his body into an impenetrable, unbreakable piece of stone. That sounds pretty cool. Kind of like DC’s version of The Thing. Except there is one big catch when it comes to Stone Boy’s power: once he unleashes this secret ability, he cannot move.
That’s right. Stone Boy can become indestructible, but the trade-off is that after he does it, he remains in suspended animation. Granted, through vigorous concentration he has learned to isolate this ability and only transform certain parts of his body into the impenetrable rock, but that’s still pretty wack.
As part of the X-Force, you had to know Zeitgeist was going to posses some pretty weird powers. Zeitgeist certainly did not disappoint in that aspect, as his only superpower involves him vomiting.
Zeitgeist’s main superpower is the fact that he can spew horrifically acidic vomit. It can melt steel in a matter of seconds and has proven devastating to his enemies on numerous occasions. But let’s just think about the fact that in order for him to muster this power, he needs to vomit all over everything – that’s just plain gross.
His vomit is so dangerous that he needs to wear a protective mouthpiece at all times to guard against any accidents. How could anyone think this dude would be a good idea? Did anyone really think Zeitgeist would inspire people to get into reading comics? Surely he actually turned some people off to comics, as his superpower is just that disgusting.
A breakdancing super hero? Yes please. Sign us up immediately!
…Said no one ever. But that’s exactly what we got with this intensely 1980s comic superhero. Vibe debuted in 1984 in Justice League comics, and was soon affiliated with the team. Wait, what?
Yes, it’s true, a breakdancing superhero has a role in the Justice League. Vibe’s powers are actually pretty decent, as he has the ability to create shock waves of considerable strength that could shatter concrete or steel. He harnesses the power of vibration (Get it? His name is Vibe!), frequency, and resonance. This is a power that hardly anyone understands unless they studied physics in college, so when he was brought back into the DC Universe, they made him able to affect reality and inter-dimensional stuff.
8. Mr. Immortal
Oh, come on! With a name like Mr. Immortal, this guy has to be awesome, right? He seems like the ultimate superhero! Perhaps one of the strongest ever created!
While it’s true that Mr. Immortal is in fact… immortal, that is legitimately his only power. He simply cannot die, at least permanently. And if he does die, he is immediately regenerated and healed from all of his injuries.
What really sucks for Mr. Immortal is the fact that he has no other superpowers. His one ability is his lack of ability to die permanently. That’s it. He can, however, be tortured constantly, because when he doesn’t die, his healing factor is just like any normal human’s. So, theoretically, you could keep Mr. Immortal chained up in a basement somewhere and torture him constantly and there is nothing he can do about it. Just keep him alive and you can do just about anything you want to him.
Anyone who has been burned by a firework can tell you, it hurts like a MFer. Handling explosives like fireworks is incredibly dangerous and can lead to a ton of injuries. You must do it safely and follow the instructions, otherwise you could end up in the hospital with severe burns.
If that’s the case, why is Jubilee on this list? Doesn’t she have the ability to shoot fireworks out of her hands?
Of course she does. She is a very dangerous mutant. But uhh… she’s just as dangerous as anyone who owns fireworks. You could literally go to a fireworks store, providing it’s legal in your area, buy some fireworks, and be just as dangerous as Jubilee. In a weird way, that kind of makes us all superheroes, right? Thanks, Jubilee for proving that in order to be a superhero, all you need is a couple bucks to buy fireworks.
Rogue is actually considered one of the more powerful X-Men on their roster. Her superpower involves draining the life force of anyone she touches with her bare skin. This allows her to absorb the psyche and abilities of the people or mutants that she comes into contact with.
This power has been shown to drive Rogue quite crazy sometimes, as once she inherits the memories and personalities of those she touches, it does a number on her mental well-being. When she absorbed the life force of Ms. Marvel, caused her some serious mental trauma and even led to the Ms. Marvel personality taking over her body.
A person this dangerous to herself and her fellow teammates carries a risk that might not even be worth it. If at any time a strange personality can take over Rogue’s body and start doing damage to herself and her teammates, that might not be worth it. Sorry, Rogue. You’re a danger to yourself and others.
5. Infectious Lass
Infectious Lass is a terrible name. Let’s just get that out of the way. She deserves to be on the Legion of Substitute Heroes in the DC Universe alongside Stone Boy, who we’ve already mentioned. But aside from her name, Infectious Lass has a pretty insane skill set that is dangerous for anyone in her vicinity.
Infectious Lass has the ability to generate infectious diseases. She is immune to these diseases, but anyone within the area, including fellow superheroes, might not be. Therefore, Infectious Lass could spread deadly viruses and diseases to anyone, whether they are on the side of good or evil.
That’s just a stupid and insanely risky super power to have, and it makes sense that she was rejected from the Justice League. She could easily kill anyone on that squad with her power. Sure, it makes her powerful, but it also makes her dangerous to anyone who dares to team up with her.
4. The Wonder Twins
These extraterrestrial twins are quite powerful. They are so powerful, in fact, that they made the jump from Hanna-Barbera cartoons to the DC Universe proper, which is no easy feat. These twins can transform their bodies into various substances and beings. That seems pretty darn useful and could come in handy in the heat of an intense battle with an evil foe.
However, in order for The Wonder Twins to activate their powers, they need to make physical contact with each other. If they can’t, their powers are rendered useless. Say what?! Add in the fact that they need to say “WONDER TWIN POWERS ACTIVATE!” in order for their powers to, you know, activate, and you’ve got yourself a pretty useless pair of superheroes.
3. Stacy X
Stacy X is described as having scaly, snake-like skin that can increase her durability. When the creators of this comic book character decided that simply wasn’t enough, they decided to give her an equally useless superpower; she can also control other’s pheromones through skin contact, which can lead to intense physical reactions and sensations in a person’s body.
So what does that all mean? Well, she can give people a burst of adrenaline to boost their stamina if they’re tired? Or drain their adrenaline to make them more tired? These powers are incredibly undefined and, more specifically, she has been deemed so worthless that she doesn’t even appear in the comics too often.
If you want to know how worthless Stacy X is, consider this — she was supposed to be in X-Men: The Last Stand, and was cut from the movie. There were so many mutants in that freaking movie and she couldn’t even make the cut!
Having super speed isn’t a very unique superhuman ability at this point in the history of comics. There have been a ton of speedsters in the history of comics, and Whizzer is another one of them, only lamer. While some superheroes can run so fast that they alter reality itself, Whizzer finds himself with some pretty ridiculous limitations.
Robert Frank acquired his abilities via an injection of mongoose blood into his body. Yes, that is a real thing that happened. The mongoose blood gave him superhuman reflexes and agility, along with super speed. Unfortunately, Frank’s speeds only get up to around 100 miles per hour. This might have been impressive at the time of his creation in 1941, but isn’t too crazy these days.
Also, his name is Whizzer. What a poor choice. He would lose a race handily against The Flash and Quicksilver, and is also called Whizzer. Rough.
Poor Proty. Poor, poor Proty.
Proty is saddled with a pretty awesome ability, but none of the awesome things that generally come with that ability. Proty is an alien ball of slime that can shapeshift into anything it wants, but it gains none of that thing’s powers. For example, Proty can shape shift into Superman, but once it does, it doesn’t have the ability to fly or use heat vision.
There have been two versions of Proty, and the first version couldn’t even talk. This would make it very hard to convince someone that you actually are the person you are masquerading as. The second Proty could talk, but still couldn’t gain any other abilities via its shapeshifting. This could be cool if Proty just wanted to camouflage itself or use its body as a diversion, but other than that, this thing is pretty crappy.
But hey! At least it doesn’t need oxygen or anything to survive. Proty can survive in a vacuum, so there’s that.
Which other superheroes have powers that sound strong, but are actually worthless? Share in the comments!
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