Star Trek Review
May 6, 2009 by Vic HoltremanWill you like the new Star Trek movie even if you’re not a geek?
Short version: While hard core Trekkies may have some problems with it, this long time classic Star Trek fan found this reboot fun, fresh & exciting.
Screen Rant reviews Star Trek
Where to start? (This is going to be a long one, folks. If you want to skip the preamble and get right to the review itself click here.)
Some people are Star Wars fanatics, others go nuts over Transformers or X-Men. While I’m a huge Iron Man fan, Star Trek is my true love going back well over 30 years. My favorite of all the shows? The Original Series (aka TOS). You may look at it now and think it looks cheesy (however I highly recommend you check out the digitally remastered version with brand new visual effects on DVD or Blu-ray), but remember the original Star Trek is over 40 years old.
At the time the other big Sci-Fi TV show was the cheese-fest called Lost in Space – so keep that in mind as a comparison. 
I have Star Trek prop replicas on my bookshelves (some pretty damned nice ones) along with a copy of the original Star Fleet Technical Manual by Franz Joseph and a set of blueprints of the original U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 (which shows the location of a bowling alley on the ship!). I’ve memorized every episode of the original series – I can tell you which one each one is within seconds of any of them starting. And I’ve seen every movie.
Yes, I’m into Trek “canon” – tracking all the little details that tie the whole Star Trek universe together, however I’m also aware (though some fans seem to be in denial about this) that over the course of hundreds of episodes across five different series, Star Trek itself has violated its own canon many times.
Why am I telling you all this? So you have some context for my review of J.J. Abrams’, Roberto Orci’s and Alex Kurtzman’s reboot of the Star Trek universe. However this is not a review just for “Trekkies,” and that’s appropriate because neither is this film just for that group of die hard fans (among which I include myself).
Also, I did read the four part prequel comic that tells the story which leads to the events that take place in the film. If you have a chance I recommend you find it and pick it up at your local comic book store as it really fleshes out the “villain” in the film, Nero.
Some fans may disagree, but this franchise was in desperate need of a reboot, re-imagination, fresh “take” or whatever you’d like to call it. Star Trek, as a brand, was whithering on the vine and was in danger of being put on the shelf for who knows how long – until Paramount might decide enough time had gone by to give it another go. This was due to a number of factors, among which included the subsequent series being taken in directions by Rick Berman (and to some exent, Brannon Braga) that the fans did not agree with. Essentially it was a case of “the fans don’t know what’s good for them – we’ll tell them what they want.”
From this we gained the ignoble death of Captain Kirk in a transition movie with a stupidly weak plot device, Star Trek: Voyager, the Lost in Space of Trek, progressively crappier movies and finally Enterprise: At least an attempt at something fresh in Trek, which unfortunately went off in some half-assed direction – and Manny Coto’s efforts to bring the show back to what it should have been in season 4 were too little, too late.
So… when it was announced that the new film would go back to before the original series crew had met I was both excited at the prospect and terrified of how it might turn out. I mean we’re talking about recasting iconic roles. Bill Shatner? Leonard Nimoy? DeForest Kelly and James Doohan?
Sacrilege!
But I tried to be cautiously optimistic over the course of very early news, pre-production and through the production. I listed this film as my most anticipated of the year…
And I was NOT disappointed.
So finally – the review…
Click here to continue reading our Star Trek review…
Our Rating:
4 out of 5
Around the web:
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@ All:
Whoops, I misspelled lightning, and also the MSNBC reporter’s name is Harwood, not Harewood. I wonder if spellchecker works on this bulletin board?
Oh, Kahless, your inventiveness about People Eating Tasty Animals (Hahaha, God I LOVE that!) prompted me to come up with my own concoction:
PETA – Psychos Entreating Total Anarchy
Whaddya think? Don’t wanna turn this into a hate thread, but let’s face it, MEATEATERS UNITE, am I right, people?
Okay, back to ST topics now…
Not that I want to burst your bubble, Johnny, nor do I seek to anger a Klingon, but “People Eating Tasty Animals” has been around for quite a while. One of my good friends in college had a bumper sticker reading such. For limited information, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_eating_tasty_animals
@Doc
Yes it has, and I quote it a lot. Of course, if anyone here is a vegan, I sincerely apologize.
Now, since I got the answer…
I got the answer, petaQ!!!
Since ** ahem ** Kahless got the answer, here is the next quote:
“The philosophy of Nome, meaning all” TOS episode
@ Kahless:
Abraham Lincoln, or rather a simulacron of him produced by the Excalabian, onboard the Enterprise in ‘The Savage Curtain’.
This episode was, to me, the difinitive statement of Star Trek philosophically, as per the final scene:
KIRK (self-righteously) What gives you the right to play with people’s lives?
EXCALABIAN: The same right you claim – the right to know new things…
Absolutely damn right, hear, hear!
~Johnny
@ Kahless:
And since I am certain I remembered that correctly, and I needed an excuse to correct my misspelings (lol), here is my next ‘definitive’ quote:
“…we drained nine phasers, and they still came…”
Extra points if you can identify & name the item in question…
~Johnny
The Omega Glory, Captain Tracey of the Exeter, referring to the “Coms” I believe.
@ Steve, the Doc:
Bullseye!
Extra points, if you can name the document involved (both what it was and what they called it);
Hell, I can’t speak for anybody else, but I will grant you the next two turns if you can answer:
a) The name of the other group (Comms & ?), as well as what their names meant, and
b) The name of the document of interest, both our name for it and theirs.
Any objections? Cool.
Good pickup, Paisan!
In any case, it’s YOURturn, pal.
~Johnny
I think you mean
A) Kohms (Communists) and Yangs (Yankees)
B) I don’t think you mean the Declaration of Independence as much as they say “E Plebnista” instead of “We the People” – I believe they took “E Pluribus Unim” off of the dollar bill to come up with the bastardization text they used, but I don’t recall where I heard that.
“We might not be able to save anything…including this ship!”
@ Steve:
“B) I don’t think you mean the Declaration of Independence as much as they say “E Plebnista” instead of “We the People” – I believe they took “E Pluribus Unim” off of the dollar bill to come up with the bastardization text they used, but I don’t recall where I heard that.”
You know, Doc, you’re probably right, I never thought of that!
I always wondered how they got ‘E Plebnista’ out of ‘We The People’, I’ll bet you’ve got something there – and it only took me, what? – forty years, to figure that out, and I needed your spelling it out to me to do it! E pluribus Unum, indeed. Very good, paisan.
“We might not be able to save anything…including this ship!”
– I’ll take a stab at this for the lightning round, and say:
Kirk, onboard the Constellation, in ‘The Doomsday Machine’?
Just a blind phaser shot, I don’t know…
In any case, I reserve right of quote in deference of yet another turn by you.
Besides which, my head hurts whenever I think of an exact quote, now, hahaha! I will gladly let you take another one.
Cheers,
~Johnny
PS: The Declaration of Independence didn’t have the ‘We The People’ preamble, Steve, that is the Constitution, pal – you’d tell me…lol!
L8r!
I’ll take a second shot when you get the first one right
And yes, I know the preample of the Constitution… for some reason I got the impression you were alluding to the Declaration of Independence, hence my sentence beginning with, “I don’t think you mean…” Could have been worded better, I suppose, but that’s the peril of sleep deprivation. Once someone gets the last quote right I’ll worry about whether or not I have to post the next one, too. Khaless, Ingénue, Fury, or Big D might get it. They didn’t opt in to your scheme, paisan.
~Doc
@ Doc:
I got ya, pal, thought it was worth a shot, what the hell, right? Some scheme, just bein’ friendly, but you’re right, whatever you wanna do.
Anyway, I assume it’s a TOS quote, right? …Or maybe it’s from a TOS movie? Since nobody else seems to be around, I’ll take another shot:
Kirk, to Gillian Taylor, on the way back to the 23rd Century in the BoP with George & Gracie…? Maybe?
I think it was right before they timewarped back.
Lemme know, Fratello.
~Johnny
@ Steve:
As brilliant as your deduction was, concerning ‘E Pluribus Unum’ being mangled into the ‘E Plabnista’ – and seriously, I think it was inspired, really – I think I finally figured it out, sort of like ‘V Ger’ would be sussed out later:
wE the PeopLe of the UNIted STAtes…
Whaddya think?
I don’t know about the a and the b, still don’t get that, but the letters in caps spell out ‘E PLU NISTA’, so that checks.
I think maybe you heard it wrong, maybe?
Just a thought, I don’t know.
~Johnny
I checked the subtitles and how I typed it is how they captioned it. You could be right, too; captioners are far from perfect. And yes, it’s a TOS quote (I know of no others) and no, it’s not in that scene in ST IV.
~Doc
I figured as long as people are busy chatting up the Transformers thread, I was wondering if anyone noticed that said movie (also from Paramount) has a lot of lens flares at the beginning? The titles in particular, reminded me of the “beaming in” effect used on ST IV – V titles.
On an unrealted subject – got this from my great uncle, who practices medicine in Italy. For those who do not know, “Nono” is Italian for “grandfather.”
~Doc
An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,’ how do you stay in such great physical condition?’
I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.’
‘Well’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?’
‘Who said my Father’s dead?’
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your Father’s still alive. How old is he?’
‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the Old Italian golfer. ‘In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s Italian and he’s a golfer, too.’
‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Father’s Father? How old was he when he died?’
‘Who said my Nono’s dead?’
Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘you mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the Old Italian golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’
‘No, Nono couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?’
‘Who said he wanted to?’
Musings on an alternate timeline…
So I was suturing a patient today, which isn’t very difficult under most circumstances, and he made the comment that if X hadn’t happened, and Y hadn’t subsequently happened, then he wouldn’t have been injured at all. (I never point out to patients that if they weren’t stupid around power tools many injuries could be avoided also)
This got me to thinking; in our new reality, the Federation owes its existence to James T. Kirk’s sex drive. If he hadn’t been hitting on Uhura in the bar, he wouldn’t have been beaten up. If he hadn’t been beaten up, Pike wouldn’t have rescued him and “recruited” him. If he hadn’t been recruited… well, you get where this is going. So while in our unaltered timeline George Kirk Sr. serves as his inspiration for joining Starfleet, in the new, alternate timeline we owe the perpetuation of the Federation to Jim Kirk’s attraction to Uhura. Ironic, is it not?
I’m a doctor, not a miracle worker.
~Doc
@ Doc:
Does not surprise me one BIT!
I loved Uhura (Nichelle Nichols), and this new Uhura (Nyota, played by Zoe Saldana), okay, she’s a little scrawny compared to the original but, still, as a white man who adores black women I find if comforting that Earth (and the Federation, really) owes its existence to a young farmboy’s sex drive.
It’s procreation as philosophy, if you ask me.
One of the most mind-bending movoes I ever saw was ‘Excalibur’, starring Nigel Tery & Nicol Williamson, who played Merlin the Magician.
When Uther Pendradon uses his magic to ‘cloak’ himself in the visage of the Lord of Cornwall, he mounts his horse, rides across the fog on the water and even fools the beautiful Egrain, takes her, impregnates her, and rides off. His lust changed the world. Sonofabitch didn’t even take his armor off!
Arthur was the result of such deception, and he became the Great King. Very cool movie.
“The Future has taken root in the Present…” Merlin says, and then spirits the babe away.
Of course, one could theoretically take this all the way back to the original singularity, metaphorically speaking – reminds me if that old joke:
“Know what came after the Big Bang?”
“The Big Cigarette.”
Fractured symetry, as orgasm! Hahahaha!
Just my musings, makes me glad we have two sexes…
~Johnny
PS: Great joke about the old ‘Nono’, hahahaha!
@ Doc:
As for that quote, I just do not know, Steve, I can’t place it although I know I heard it before.
Irritating, isn’t it? But fun, too.
~Johnny
You’ll get it if you keep guessing… eventually
@ Steve:
Well, yeah, there are only 39 TOS episodes, HAHAHAHAHA!
I gotta admit, Doc, you picked a good one…probably right under my nose, am I right?
Well, Fury, Kahless, or Big D might get this one right off, I will wait for them to pitch in before I throw in the towel.
I don’t suppose Kahless EVER throws in the towel, lol!
~Cheers, Johnny
PS: Okay, one more blind phaser shot (God, I’m incorrigable!) –
Was it from ‘The Tholian Web’? Maybe McCoy to Spock or vice versa? Or maybe Scotty to Spock? I’m flummoxed.
And I don’t get flummoxed very often…
Nope.
Fury – guesses?
It was Mcoy in The Paradise syndrome .
@ Doc:
(Me, clenching my teeth – and fist): SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!
@ Gary:
You say that with enoogh confidence I suspect you are correct – was that what Kirk said to Spock just before Spock had the idea to make the Enterprise broadcast a ‘pissy wave’ (I believe it was a Theta bandwith broadcast, if I’m not mistaken) and caused McCoy to threaten to put Frank Overton in the hospital? That does sound right, Gary.
@ Steve:
How ’bout it, Doc? Did he get it?
~Johnny
What was the quote again?
Gary got it right… McCoy in “The Paradise Syndrome” – not to be confused with “Thise Side of Paradise” in which Spock sings, to which Johnny is referencing. It’s after Spock tries (in vain) to split up the asteroid heading for the clueless Kirk… Kirok… and I believe the only episode in the series which spanned months. You’re up Gary.
~Doc
TOS quote,
“you might as well try to to outthink a calculating machine. “
@ Steve:
Congratulations to Gary, of course, but I just wanted to thank you, Doc, for straightening me out on that episode name; I confised ‘This Side of Paradise’, about the spores in the farming colony, with the one about the Indians being threatened by the asteroid.
Nice going, Gary, and kudos to you again, Steve, for giving us such a difficult quote.
Better have a good, tight one, Gary, lol!
~Johnny
PS: Fury, that quote was “We may not be able to save anything, including this ship!”
I know the reference… I can see the face… “What are Little Girls Made Of?” – the one with “Lurch” from the Addams Family. I cant’t remember the character’s name… but I know it was Chapel’s long-lost fianceé… more screen time for Majel thanks to Gene. Not one of their better scripts. Well, I’ll have to watch the episode on CBS’ Website now to find out the name of the character.
A someone who can’t out-think a thinking machine, I need to check my sources.
~Doc
Steve ,
Yep .
and the chracters name is Roger Korby .