If you’re a fan of The Simpsons, a new Treehouse of Horror episode is like a holiday. You might have friends over, make fancy thematic snacks, imbibe intoxicants of your choosing—it’s always a good time. Depending on what else FOX is showing—the new Treehouse of Horror episode might happen any time between the end of September and early November. Lately though, it’s been an October thing, and fans are hoping it stays that way.

We ranked each ep as a whole, so all three segments (and when applicable) the wraparound story. We left intros and hilarious scary nicknames out of our ranking, since that’s not what anyone is tuning in for (except maybe James “Hell” Brooks). Spirited commentary is welcome, but if you “haven’t watched The Simpsons in forever,” it might be better to keep that to yourself. All that shows us is that you have no taste. Here’s Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best.

26. XI. G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad; Scary Tales Can Come True; Night of the Dolphin

11 Night of the Dolphin The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

This ep caused many die hard fans, en masse, to say ‘wow, that wasn’t very good,’ for the second time ever. Shame, that. The best thing about this Treehouse of Horror XI is the opening sequence, which perfectly spoofs The Munsters. After that, it’s a bunch of lazy tropes we’ve seen in other milieus. The basic theme of G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad is that newspaper horoscopes can’t accurately predict the future. Scintillating, right? Conversations with St Peter have been happening to cartoon characters since before Bugs Bunny was a thing.

It doesn’t get much better from there. Spoofing fairy tales is also one of the oldest and laziest forms of comedy. Sure, they can be hilarious if done well. But not this time. And finally, Lisa the know-it-all decides to release a captive dolphin from a SeaWorld tank. This seems like a great idea to anyone who has seen Blackfish. But if you haven’t, you might think an 8-year-old girl wouldn’t have the knowledge of a professional animal trainer. The biggest problem with this episode though, is that it lacks the traditional Twilight Zone spoof.

25. IX. Hell Toupee; The Terror of Tiny Toon; Starship Poopers

9 Treehouse Couch Gag The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

We just covered the second-earliest example of an unsatisfying Treehouse of Horror episode. This is the first. It’s also lacking in the customary Twilight Zone episode parody. Worse still, Hell Toupee was profoundly uninspired, and not especially scary. The best bit by far happens when Homer, possessed by the evil spirit of Snake Jailbird, whacks a terrified Bart in the face with a mallet. But wait—Bart making a terrified face was actually his school picture. Okay, that’s pretty funny. But the rest? Eh, not so much. Though we do like the couch gag with Freddy and Jason, totally getting along.

Bart and Lisa finding themselves in an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon should have been hilarious, but it was just more of the same. And a guest cameo from Regis Philbin and Kathy Lee Gifford? Are they TRYING to make Simpsons fans feel older than dirt? Regis is about as appealing to Simpsons fans as Frasier is to fans of Monday Night Raw. We do hope, though, that Scratchy and Snowball II have a long and happy life together. They won’t though, because Treehouse of Horror is not canon.

24. XVI. B.I. Bartificial Intelligence; Survival of the Fattest; I’ve Grown a Costume on Your Face

16 Grown a costume on your face The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Our first question about this episode is why they would choose to spoof a movie that isn’t even in the horror genre. A.I. is best described as “grief porn,” though it’s also been called a drama. Either way, it’s more sad than scary. Bart being supplanted by a robot boy was as awful as Marge believing Homer’s absurd lie that the missing Bart went to culinary school.

Mr Burns hunting his workers for sport isn’t that much of a stretch, but still gives the episode a few funny and scary moments. By far the best segment from this year loosely references the Twilight Zone episode, The Masks. A witch changes the townspeople into their Halloween costumes—resulting in great things for some, and worse things for others. Sideshow Mel does make a pretty cool Spiderman. Wiccans cheered for the evil green witch who wore a pentacle. Martin Prince picked the worse possible year to dress as Oberon, King of the Fairies—mainly because Willy ended up a giant can of bug spray.

23. XIII. Send In the Clones; The Right To Creep And Scare Harms; The Island Of Dr. Hibbert

13 Island of Dr Hibbert The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

For many fans, the teen years of Treehouse of Horror were some of the least loved. It was around this time that we heard the first serious grumbles about how long the show had been on the air, and how much longer it would last. Note though, that 13 isn’t even to the halfway point of The Simpsons entire run. By far the best things about this episode are Bart spoofing a scene from Charlotte’s Web, and Homer reluctantly milking Ned Flanders after he’s turned into a cow (and not a bull for some reason).

Weaker segments include an anti-gun-control parody that suggests getting rid of all weapons would leave us vulnerable to the zombies of Kaiser Wilhelm and Billy the Kid. We’re also treated to a segment where we learn that if there were hundreds upon hundreds of Homer Simpson’s, we’d go through resources more quickly. You don’t friggin’ say! Watch for some great Homer clones that include original, Tracey Ullman-era Homer, and Peter Griffin.

22. XIV. Reaper Madness; Frinkenstein; Stop The World, I Want To Goof Off

14 Frinkenstein The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

It’s sad that this episode is so far down on the list, because it should have been incredible. Fans had been waiting for years at this point, for Jerry Lewis to show up and do a voice. When he did, he played the father of Professor Frink—something fans had been tacitly begging for, for over a decade. Imagine if Edward G. Robinson was able to show up and play Chief Wiggum’s dad? Yeah… and yet, the episode just didn’t come together, either with laughs or scares.

This episode also features Homer as the Grim Reaper, a job you’d think he’d be reasonably good at since it only involves finding and touching people. But no… we’re given a plot where he’s actually supposed to fool God into thinking he killed Marge. Blech. Later, Bart and Milhouse parody the TZ episode, A Kind of Stopwatch. Seeing Bart and Milhouse as balding, do-nothing adults is just depressing. We did enjoy seeing The Simpsons as The Fantastic Four though.

21. X. I Know What You Diddily Iddily Did, Desperately Xeeking Xena, Life’s a Glitch, Then You Die

10 Desperately Xeeking Xena The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Part of the problem with movie parodies of popular films, is that we won’t know for years whether those films will actually hold up. How many people still have strong feelings about the hook-hand fisherman from I Know What You Did Last Summer? Not many. Still, I Know What You Diddly-Iddly-Did is still pretty scary, as is any scene where Flanders is a killer. The idea of werewolf Flanders finding Homer too much meal for him is also pretty funny. Eyes bigger than your stomach, eh Wolfie?

The other two segments are equally dated, as one references Xena Warrior Princess, which is almost forgotten among Lucy Lawless’s roles in Battlestar Galactica, Spartacus, and Agents of SHEILD. No matter what anyone says, Jeff “Comic Book Guy” Albertson (who should have been named Louis Lane for crying out loud) does not a good villain make. And a segment about Y2K? Scary if only because so many people were legit frightened of it.

20. XVIII. ET Go Home, Mr & Mrs Simpson, Heck House

18 Heck House The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

An episode that didn’t air until November, it wasn’t really worth waiting for. Bart and Kodos in a parody of E.T. The Extraterrestrial should have been amazing. It wasn’t. It was full of cheap humor and predictable jokes—yeah, who could have thought the bad alien who is bad in every single episode he appears in—turned out to be bad? Pretty much everyone. This is followed by another parody of another movie that isn’t horror or scary at all. Sure, it might be fun to see Homer and Marge as sexy assassins or whatever, but not at Halloween. This is a holiday for scariness, and maybe carving and displaying gourds to ward off evil spirits.

Heck House is easily the best segment, parodying uber-Xian anti-Halloween houses. In it, Ned Flanders depicts possible outcomes of engaging in the Seven Deadly Sins. As expected, the biblical punishments are far more gruesome than any horror movie (well, except Martyrs; that mess was brutal!).

19. XVII. Married to the Blob, You Gotta Know When to Golem, The Day the Earth Looked Stupid

17 Know When to Golem The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

At this point in our list, we’re nearing the end of the selections that are actually bad – but we’re not there yet. Treehouse of Horror XVII represents at least the third time we’ve seen Homer dramatically increase in size for laughs. Hahaha. No, seriously, Homer is giant and eating people. The only remotely funny thing happening is when he says Dr Phil tastes like his acting doppelganger, Jeffrey Tambor.

After seeing the Golem-centric segment, many fans were left feeling like its litany of Jewish jokes topped off with Fran Drescher’s most annoying voice was vaguely anti-Semitic. Even if it’s culturally kosher, it just wasn’t funny—no matter how much you love the movie it’s spoofing. The last segment is easily the strongest despite some heavy handed political commentary. The War of the Worlds parody was inspired, and the Iraq War metaphor was on point.

18. XII. Hex and the City, House of Whacks, Wiz Kids

12 Whiz Kids The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

This is another of the episodes that didn’t air until November, thanks to the non-stop thrill-ride that is Major League Baseball. Segment one introduces a delightful gypsy that is ruined by Homer’s buffoonery and who proceeds to curse the whole family. It’s hilarious, all of it. Segment two features Pierce Brosnan as the voice of the house from Demon Seed. Seriously, who thought enough people saw Demon Seed that it warranted a Treehouse of Horror parody? Granted, there’s some 2001: A Space Odyssey in there as well.

The final segment of this pretty good year is the Harry Potter parody, Wiz Kids. Watch for Bart to still manage to be lame at learning magic in wizard school, and for Lisa to still be awesome at it. Watch for Mr Burns as “Lord Montymort” and Smithers as Nagini. Best of all, the end of the episode combines characters from all three segments leaving the FOX parking lot. When people say “I remember the Simpsons back when they were funny,” this is the kind of episode they’re talking about.

17. XXII. The Diving Bell and Butterball, Dial D for Diddly, In the Na’Vi

22 In the NaVi The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Has the world run out of horror movies to parody? Is that why Treehouse of Horror insists on making parodies of non-horror movies for Halloween? Sure, this spoof of Dances with Smurfs or whatever that Ferngully reboot is called was almost as pretty as the film. But honestly, who the hell cares? Even sillier, this ep also references The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Even fans who adore French cinema don’t find this appropriate to Halloween. We’d like to say that a guy who communicates exclusively through farting is ridiculous and would never work. But Swiss Army Man probably disagrees. Treehouse 22 also features an homage to 127 Hours that’s pretty funny.

The saving grace of this episode is the middle segment, Dial D for Diddly. In this case, we’re willing to accept a parody of a black comedy even though Dexter is decidedly not horror. And Satan getting his giggity on with Maude in hell? Parental discretion advised, am I right?

16. XXIII. The Greatest Story Ever Holed, UNnormal Activity, Bart & Homer’s Excellent Adventure

23 UnNormal Activity The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Lisa discovering a black hole and then it basically following her home is kind of adorable. Lisa doesn’t get to do very many adorable things because she’s too busy being smart. Of course she warns everyone how dangerous a black hole is, but if you can even imagine this, they don’t listen. By the end of the segment, everyone is sucked in to a parallel planet or dimension or something. Wherever they are, they think Zunes are awesome. Those poor people.

UnNormal activity features a fairly amusing spoof of those Paranormal Activity movies where everyone is running around in the dark screaming about nothing. Finally, Bart and Homer go back in time à la Bill and Ted. This is a fun segment that’s reference heavy and features a visit from Artie Ziff, who still hasn’t gotten over Marge. Nelson shows up briefly as successful Bart’s personal punching bag and butler, and we meet the United Federation of Homers Through History, which is pretty dang hilarious.

15. XXI. War and Pieces, Master and Cadaver, Tweenlight

21 Tweenlight The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Plenty of fans (and this list) complain when Treehouse of Horror spoofs things outside the horror genre. But this year all three segments take aim at non-horror films. Dead Calm could be considered horror but is most often found in the drama section of Netflix. Jumanji is more like YA adventure, though it has a few scary moments. And Twilight? Any show that mentions the sparkly teenage vampire series where nothing matters more than getting a boyfriend, is treading on thin ice. Still, every one of these segments manages to work.

In fact, one might even argue that Daniel Radcliffe as a not-so-teenage vampire (though we’re not sure why no one considers a 100-year-old vampire who chases very young girls problematic) was tremendous fun. The juxtaposition between the sparkly emo bloodsucker and his father, Dracula, is delightful. Also watch for Hugh Laurie in the middle segment, that also features Maggie in the guise of Alex DeLarge. Nice.

14. XV. The Ned Zone, Four Beheadings and a Funeral, In the Belly of the Boss

15 Fantastic Voyage Simpsons The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

The lead-in segment for this year is super fun, with Kodos preparing dinner for her visiting boss. It’s a shame Treehouse episodes aren’t canon, because Bart would be the ward of siblings Kang and Kodos from that point forward. Surely they’d be better guardians than say, Monty Burns. The Ned Zone is a great opener. Creepy Ned segments are always great, and in this one he sees the future and tries to stop it. And it being Halloween time, we almost hear Ned utter a swear. Really.

The From Hell parody featuring the Ripper murders is great stuff indeed. Watch for fancy costumes and ornate blades that get up to some pretty nasty murders. Who knew Ralph Wiggum liked to chase the dragon (smoke excessive amounts of opium)? That might explain a few things about Ralph, actually. Finally, the segment spoofing Fantastic Voyage is hilarious and very well done. The family has to travel inside Mr Burns’s body when a shrunken Maggie is accidentally swallowed. Oops. Watch for Marge’s space suit to tatter, leaving all the vital areas covered. Hahaha.

13. XXIV. Oh the Places You’ll D’oh, Dead and Shoulders, Freaks no Geeks

24 The Places Youll Doh The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

A Dr. Seuss parody? Really? That’s not horror—or is it? One could make a good case for some of Seuss’s shenanigans to be on the horrific side. Do we really want to teach kids how fun it is when a stranger comes over while mother is out, trashes the whole house and then tells you to keep everything a secret? Probably not, but that doesn’t stop the funny. Even people who loathe body shaming can chuckle a little at The Fat in the Hat. This Treehouse of Horror episode also contains the most spectacular opening sequence ever referencing, among other things, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Car, Alfred Hitchock, Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, This Island Earth, Game of Thrones, and a whole bunch more.

The middle segment was weakest this year, featuring some silly head grafting and body swapping just for the sake of silliness. We’ve been tired of that joke ever since Burns was stitched onto Homer’s shoulder, ruining his plans to receive Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands. But the Freaks parody? Excellent, even if you thought they were doing American Horror Story: Freakshow.

12. XIX. Untitled Robot Parody, How to Get Ahead in Deadvertising, It’s the Grand Pumpkin, Milhous

19 Grand Pumpkin The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Another November Halloween episode, and another Treehouse with an election-focused beginning. “This machine is rigged! Must tell President McCain!This is also another episode that parodies a movie that’s not remotely horrific, unless you count things like bad acting and dialogue as horrific (which we do). The next segment, with a Mad Men intro, focuses on Homer as an assassin of celebrities. Why does he do this? He’s paid to by ad execs who want to kill actors so they can use their images in advertising without paying anyone for the likeness. Anyone who remembers Lucille Ball dancing with a vacuum cleaner is likely to find this relevant.

The star of this episode though, is the brilliant Grand Pumpkin story, with Milhouse playing the ever-faithful Linus-type who awaits the Great Pumpkin instead of trick-or-treating. When this Grand Pumpkin finally arrives, he’s horrified at normal holiday things like pumpkin bread or jack-o-lanterns. Of course he is. Watch for Springfield elementary students dancing like the Peanuts. It’s pretty awesome.

11. XXVI. Wanted: Dead Then Alive, Homerzilla, Telepaths of Glory

26 Dead Then Alive The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

The creator and lead animator of Ren and Stimpy, John K, has had his work featured on The Simpsons before. The pair appeared in the episode where Bart gets a “Bigger Brother.” Kricfalusi also did an earlier couch gag. But this scary, stylized intro features Frank Grimes skinning Bart alive. Hey, it’s Halloween after all. This is followed by a really fantastic segment where Sideshow Bob finally kills Bart…over and over and over again.

The Gojira parody is also pretty funny, spoofing both the original film and the Japanese culture’s fascination with ghosts of all kinds. The segment ends with some commentary on how most Godzilla films aren’t that good, which is why the remakes are few and far between. In the final segment, Lisa and Milhouse become telepathic, which makes Milhouse mad with power almost immediately. So that’s a fun time. Sadly, this is another year when Kang and Kodos don’t show up until the very end, complaining that they aren’t being well utilized. Fair point.

10. XXV. School is Hell, A Clockwork Yellow, The Others

25 CLockwork Yellow The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

By this point in history, we’ve got to think the number of Simpsons fans who still appreciate a Life in Hell joke are few and far between. It’s pretty hard to find those old, square books containing Groening’s early work. Still, School is Hell is a solid segment that has Bart getting thrown out of regular school and sent to a Hellish school that teaches him the ins and outs of evil. When Bart excels at this new school, no one is surprised. Even Homer ends up proud of his violent, destructive little son. About time!

A Clockwork Yellow is a sublime parody of the Kubrick film based on the Burgess novel everyone totally should have read by now. Moe-centric stories are always fun, if only because we learn new tidbits about our favorite bartender Momar. The final segment shows Homer summoning ghosts…of the Simpson family as they appeared on The Tracey Ullman Show. Inspired!

9. II. The Monkey’s Paw, The Bart Zone, If I Only Had a Brain

2 Only had a brain The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

For this entry, we go back to the original Treehouse of Horror format, featuring a classic movie parody, a Twilight Zone parody, and a spoofing of a classic tale of terror. We begin with Homer greedily buying the paw of a monkey from a mysterious seller who warns him that the wishes bring grave misfortune. So Homer puts it back and walks away, right? Nope. Watch for the hilarious line about The Simpsons new found fame: “If I hear one more word about The Simpsons, I swear I’m going to scream. At first they were cute and funny, but now they’re just annoying.” Then note that this was in 1991.

The second segment may seem predictable, but it was amazing and unexpected at the time. Bart takes on the Billy Mumy role from TZ’s It’s a Good Life, as the boy who makes things happen with his mind. Homer as a Jack-in-the-box is only slightly less scary than it was in the Twilight Zone. Burns and Smithers stealing Homer’s brain for their robot employee is tons of fun with many great reference jokes.

8. IV. The Devil and Homer Simpson, Terror at 5 ½ Feet, Bart Simpson’s Dracula

4 Devil and Homer Simpson The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Those fans who defend The Simpsons through thick and thin still have to admit that the show lost something irreplaceable with the death of Phil Hartman. Lionel Hutz’s defense of Homer, who sold his soul to the devil (Ned Flanders—because it’s always the one you least suspect) is as inept as ever. “Excuse me,” he says mid-argument, “I must use the restroom…” before driving away. The Twilight Zone parody here has Bart on a gremlin-plagued school bus choosing (wisely, we think) not to imitate Shatner at his most crazy.

The crowning glory of this episode is definitely the pitch-perfect parody of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which the rest of us know as Coppola’s Dracula. There are references to other vamp pics, like Salem’s Lot and Nosferatu. Mr Burns somehow doesn’t remember Bart’s name. So why did he invite him to his country home in… Pennsylvania? And why would he want everyone to wash their necks. Suspicious, right?

7. VIII. The Homega Man, Fly vs Fly, Easy-Bake Coven

8 Homega Man The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

One could argue that we’ve never had a perfect version of I am Legend. The existing film versions, be they Charleton Heston, Vincent Price, or Will Smith, all had their good points while leaving much to be desired. Homer’s foray into a survivalist future populated by pasty-faced mutants is as good as any big-budget release. Better still, it all wraps up in 7 minutes. Buying a matter transporter at Frink’s garage sale was as brilliant as the idea of mood pants.

The final segment is arguably the fave among fans, spoofing The Crucible as the Bouvier witches wreak havoc all over Olde Springfielde. Watch for Maude to fear “wanton acts of carnality,” while “Nedwin” grumbles, “Yeah, that’ll be the day.” We’re introduced to the caramel cod, and the idea that witches steal children to eat them. That’s horrible. Eating children around Halloween is a sure recipe for Type 2 diabetes.

6. III. Clown Without Pity, King Homer, Dial Z for Zombies

3 Dial Z for Zombies The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

The Telly Savalas Twilight Zone episode with the talking doll is a fan favorite, and one that pops up in every TZ marathon. So when Krusty the Clown became the doll that wants to kill Homer, there was much rejoicing. “Ha, didn’t even pull the string that time,” indeed. That gregarious piece ends with Krusty taking up residence in the dream house of Malibu Stacey after Homer tries unsuccessfully to kill the dolly several times. King Homer is exactly what it should be, with Homer as Kong and Marge as the damsel in distress. The stand out line from this ep being the immortal, “I think women and seamen don’t mix.” Yeah, we know what you think, Smithers.

If you think back to 1992, you’ll recall that the media invasion of zombies had not yet happened. Zombie fans had to go looking for things to watch rather than zombie shows happening on multiple networks and platforms. Bart and Lisa raising the dead in the occult section of the elementary school library is good stuff. The incantations used to put them back in their graves were even better. “Trojan, Ramses, Magnum, Sheik!”

5. VI. Attack of the 50-Foot Eyesores, Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace, Homer3

6 Homer 3 The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Treehouse of Horror VI is one that fans have disagreed pretty strongly on. Advertising mascots aren’t scary, not even a little. The redubbing of Kent Brockman’s Godzilla roar in this episode ruined every replay for the next 20 years and beyond (apparently, that specific roar is copyrighted, and no other character is allowed to use it). Next up is Groundskeeper Willie as Freddy Krueger, who is a pretty lousy villain with his wise cracks and overblown FX.

The final segment of this episode, though, is another parody of a Twilight Zone ep—this one about a girl getting lost in the wall behind her bed. Homer travels into the third dimension leading him to a place that looks like, well… “did anybody here see the movie Tron?” No? Okay then. This is one of the most popular Halloween segments ever, despite FOX’s best efforts to not fund it, not allow the secret jokes hidden in ASCII translations of the numbers, and to nix the live-action ending and crane shot altogether. The episode itself is cool, but highlighting the artistic integrity of the show’s staff and producers is even better.

4. XX. Dial M for Murder, Don’t Have a Cow, Mankind, There’s No Business Like Moe Business

20 No Biz like Moe biz The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Many fans argue that The Simpsons, and Treehouse of Horror episodes in particular, have dropped off in quality in recent years. Looking at this list, the earlier episodes do tend to be nearer the top of the list. But here is the exception. Treehouse 20 was a landmark episode, and got a landmark trio of stories to celebrate it. The opening makes you wonder why Frankenstein’s monster has a wife that looks like him, and not like the Bride of Frankenstein. After that though, we’ve got Bart and Lisa doing Strangers on a Train; it’s even in black & white. This is followed by a 28 Days Later –inspired story that has Bart as the savior of mankind after a zombie outbreak started by tainted Krusty burgers. Both are excellent stories and based on solid horror offerings.

The final segment of this episode, though, is loosely based on Sweeney Todd, and is presented in the style of a stage musical. We can’t say enough great things about the songs, Moe’s constant attempts to get together with Marge, the playful way the sets impact the story. All of it, gold. This is an ep that makes us wish we could have 20 more years.

3. I. Bad Dream House, Hungry are the Damned, The Raven

1 How to cook for 40 Humans The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Do you remember where you were when you saw this first ever Treehouse of Horror? The first time you heard James Earl Jones reading The Raven, or saw Edgar Allan Poe’s name in the credits of a TV show’s writing staff? The first Treehouse episode begins with Marge Simpson explaining that the show is going to be scary, it’s not for children, and maybe it’s better not to let them watch as it will save you writing an angry letter tomorrow. No dice though, it was a widely watched (and fervently enjoyed episode) that elicited tons of furious mail. Segment one has the family moving into a suspiciously huge and affordable home. Guess what? The home doesn’t want them there, and ends up self-destructing to avoid living with them.

Segment two is a spot-on parody of To Serve Man, arguably the most celebrated TZ episode ever. How to Cook for 40 Humans is the name of a couple of Kindles, we bet. The third segment though, featuring Dan Castelleneta and James Earl Jones reading The Raven is, in short, the best thing ever. Quoth the Raven, Eat My Shorts!

2. VII. The Thing and I, The Genesis Tub, Citizen Kang

7 Citizen Kang The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

What are the odds that Bart Simpson had a secret conjoined twin nobody knew about? Pretty low, right? But even those odds are nothing compared to the odds that Bart’s secret twin Hugo is actually the evil one. Yeah, looks like Hibbert messed up that routine soul smear and sent the nice kid up to the attic to live on fish heads even though the evil twin is, and always has been…Bart. Yeah, no one should look shocked.

The Genesis Tub is a delightful piece that has Lisa growing a tiny civilization in a petri dish containing a bit of electricity, some soda, and her lost baby tooth. Before long, the members of this petri civilization think she’s a god and Bart is the devil—well, they’re about half right. Whether or not you enjoy political humor, there’s plenty to love about Citizen Kang, when everyone’s favorite Rigellians replace a couple of nobodies named Bob Dole and Bill Clinton. Now we’ve all got to build a ray gun to point at a planet we’ve never heard of. Thanks, Kodos!

1. V. The Shinning, Time and Punishment, Nightmare Cafeteria

5 The Shinning The Simpsons: Every Single Treehouse Of Horror, Ranked Worst To Best

Horror fans know that Stephen King is not wild about Stanley Kubrick’s version of his novel, The Shining. We do know though, that he’s pretty cool with what Groening et al did with it. “No TV and no beer make Homer something, something.” Yeah, you know what comes next. And if you don’t, “urge to kill…rising.”

The middle segment features a broken toaster, Quantum Leap-style time travel, and a bevy of possible futures that range from spectacular to nightmarish. Flanders runs the world? Donuts raining from the sky? Fork-tongued humans? It’s all good stuff. And finally, the last segment features cannibalism in the Springfield Elementary cafeteria. You could argue that Bart and Lisa are a bit young to combat that alone, but as Marge explains, “You’re eight and ten years old, I can’t be fighting all your battles for you.” Luckily, this is also the episode where Maggie axes someone in the back during every segment. What a disturbing universe!

Agree with our ranking of the Treehouse of Horror shows? Disagree vehemently? Tell us about it. Your ideas are intriguing to us.

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