Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan will be killed. Not for real, of course(?): the pair of tabloid-headlining celebrities will meet their demise onscreen in Scary Movie 5, the upcoming new chapter in the long-running comedy series, which is being directed by franchise newcomer Malcolm D. Lee (The Best Man, Undercover Brother).

In other Scary Movie 5 news: the latest addition to the cast will be Expendables 2 star Terry Crews, who will play a yet-unspecified role.

The Scary Movie franchise started as a spoof of the Scream horror films, which always opened with sequences of celebrities in cameo roles being slaughtered by the infamous Ghost Face killer. Scary Movie has continued that proud(?) tradition, with notable deaths in prior installments being hilariously suffered by the likes of Carmen Electra, Jenny McCarthy, Pam Anderson, Shaq and Dr. Phil.

Sheen played the protagonist in Scary Movie 3, and had a bit role (not to mention a death scene) in the fourth film. As THR reports, the controversial actor will not be returning as his deceased character, Tom Logan, but will rather team with Lohan to play “the world’s hottest new couple,” in the opening sequence – which will presumably end with one or both their deaths.

The combined presence of Sheen and Lohan onscreen is surely enough to grab a lot of attention (such as… this article); the further revelation that they’ll be playing up their own famous personas will only be a more attractive proposition – while word that both could be horribly slaughtered will only seal the deal, no matter if you hate or love them. I say all that to say: this is a smart play for the filmmakers behind Scary Movie 5.

Crews in ‘The Expendables 2′

Black Film  managed to grab the exclusive that actor Terry Crews – who can currently be seen on HBO’s The Newsroom and will be shooting up the box office in The Expendables 2 this week – will be coming onboard. Said Crews:

I will also be in Scary Movie 5. That’s being directed by my man Malcolm Lee, who I love from The Best Man.

As stated, no word yet on who the actor will play, but with a long comedy track record that includes White Chicks, Idiocracy, Balls of Fury, Friday After Next, Malibu’s Most Wanted, and many other entries, Crews should do fine bringing the funny.

Scary Movie 5 is being written by Naked Gun and Airplane! legend David Zucker – who also happened to direct Scary Movie 3 & 4 – with help from Pat Proft, who wrote the scripts for parts 3 &4 that Zucker directed from. While franchise star Anna Faris won’t be back, fresh faces like Ashley Tisdale and Erica Ash will be picking up the reigns.

Scary Movie 5 will be in theaters on April 19, 2013.

Sources: THR & Black Film