There’s nothing like taking four hours to tell a story that would fit into two.
I remember watching the original movie version of Michael Crichton’s story The Andromeda Strain and being riveted to the screen. I was suspicious of the A&E version when I first heard about it, even though it had names like Ridley Scott attached to it.
Well The Andromeda Strain 2008 managed to live down to my expectations.
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First off, I’d like to know how the heck A&E managed to get a TV-PG rating on a show that explicitly shows a woman setting herself on fire, a guy getting shot point blank in the head and a guy cutting his own head off with a freaking chain saw for crying out loud!
Anyway, the show opens with what look like a couple of under-twenty-years olds parked out in the desert, with the guy dropping below the camera line telling her he’s “going where no man has gone before” (yet more PG-rated fun). What appears to be a meteorite streaks by, but turns out to be a satellite crashed to Earth. Brilliantly, the redneck loads it into the back of his pickup truck (aren’t satellites like, really heavy?) and takes it back into town. Very soon thereafter everyone in town is dead, except for an old disheveled guy and a crying infant. When a couple of army guys show up to retrieve the satellite, they die instantly.
Alternately we’re introduced to the cast of characters, including the super-calm Benjamin Bratt as Dr. Jeremy Stone, Ricky Schroder (yeah, he’s going by “Ricky” again) as Major Bill Keane MD who also happens to have some bad history with Stone. There’s also Eric McCormack as drug-addicted reporter Jack Nash. There is WAY more backstory laid with the characters than we even remotely need, and I’m a big fan of character development, mind you.
They’re gathered to go to the super-secret lab, and we are then put through an artsy, slo-mo decontamination sequence that is ridiculously long and only there to show peek-a-boo shots of the guys with no shirts and 3/4 shots of one of the female characters topless (cough, PG, cough).
As opposed to the original film, they find the source of the virus almost immediately but then the questions are how is it spread, how does it mutate, where did it come from and what exactly is it.
I have to say that I more than half expected to see in the credits that this mini-series was sponsored by a combination of Moveon.org, Al Gore and maybe Greenpeace just for kicks. It was chock full of “government is the secretive bad guy hiding behind homeland security” plus there was a scene totally tossed in that had nothing to do with anything where one of the characters lets us know he’s gay.
The purpose behind the arrival of the virus is ludicrous and while you might call it “timely,” I call it idiotic. Sending a virus that could destroy mankind encapsulated by some container that warns us not to destroy some obscure natural resource is beyond the pale.
There are more annoying scenes, like where Nash narrowly survives an attempt on his life, is wandering through the desert with no food or water. He drops to his knees and prays, promising to give up some of his vices (obviously not something he does very often). Minutes later, God, if you will answers his prayer with the arrival of an SUV from out of nowhere – he looks up and says “I take it back.” What an a-hole, but it’s totally in line with the flavor of the rest of this thing.
If you’re really interested in what is potentially a really cool story, I strongly suggest that you buy or rent the original Andromeda Strain from 1971 which was directed by the great Robert Wise and nominated for two Oscars back when that still meant somethin. Do that, instead of watching a version written by a guy with seven times as many acting credits as writing credits to his name.
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22 Comments
You nailed it, Vic. They trashed the taut, intelligent original script, and threw in every modern sci-fi and disaster movie cliche, including the prerequisite idiotic U.S government and corporate conspiracies. And judging by one of the climactic scenes, Ridley Scott must have saved the strobe lights from the Nostromo.
Part I is a bit more coherent, but II falls apart completely with huge leaps of illogic. There’s even a scene at the end involving a severed thumb that is unintentionally laugh-out-loud funny.
Yeah, first half almost tolerable but the second, yeesh.
I’m going to rent the original just to cleanse my palate…
Vic
Only saw the first half last night, but from the looks of it they took a perfectly good sci-fi thriller and bogged it down with a bunch of unnecessary “issue” politics. If that’s what the writers think passes for an intelligent screenplay, it doesn’t bode well for any future work they do.
I remember reading the book and being riveted by it. If the source material is strong, trust it. Only make changes to the story where the difference in medium (reading vs. watching) make it necessary.
It’s a shame, really, because for a while it looked like there was going to have enough in common with the original (they still used many of the same names, and locations based on the names and descriptions in the book) to pull it off, and A&E doesn’t have the reputation of a Sci-fi channel movie, so I expected more. (It was better than that, but not as good as expected).
I LIKED IT.
Saw the 1st one qnd didn’t care for it then (1971)
in my opinion a shab and dismal attempt at capturing the same intensity as the original movie.
The acting was piss poor, the veiled left winged political remarks were totally out of place.
The other unbelievable aspects, such as weather fronts going from Utah to LA(east to west)…sorry folks…just doesnt work that way…at least not on THIS planet.
The PC aspects, the needless , moronic character develoment.
The “undercover” affair between Stone and the Lady “Doc”….geeeze…..and who the Hell is this Nash guy???…and what reason for him to be in the flick…is just beyond me..
Movie was just CRAP…nothin else to say
I agree Vic, the original is the inovator here…
I can’t believe it. I started out thinking this was a decent remake but they lost me with the wormhole garbage. The reasoning for it seems faulty too. If a far future had technology to send something back in time why wouldn’t it have the technology to engineer a sulpher eating microbe, even if a particular microbe was extinct?? If it was in the far future where biodiversity was diminished to the point of having nothing to work with, storing the solution in a space station wouldn’t be the most reasonable solution either. The world currently has better facilities doing this already on terra firma.
The first part wasn’t bad, but after watching the conclusion… I want the last two hours of my life back.
I feel soo dirty for subjecting myself and the woman whom calls herself my wife, the four hours of torture sitting through this kakapupu…
why even do it if your going to DISRESPECT the original?
While the first half was barely passable, the second was ridiculous crappo. All in all, plain old abusive. Loved the original. Once again, I say to myself “NEVER watch made-for-tv movies!!..NEVER!”
Writer Shenkkan and Director Salomon should receive the “Lead Lemon Award for Worst Mini-series” for the terrible adulteration of the original 1971 version of the Andromeda Strain. At best, the production was pseudo science replete with fourth-rate propaganda that targeted everything from sea-floor mining to ridicule of the U.S. government and its military. Terrible.
What a waste! The Andromeda galaxy is supposed to have a black hole in it’s center but, this entire film was one big black hole that sucked up 4 hours of my time.
No one mentioned the same commercials played over and over again. Had to press mute every 10 minutes. I think the movie was at least 50% advertisements.
The ending went over my head. Stupid. Character development, over done. Really graphic violence that I was not expecting. Shocked actually. heads cut off, folks shot point blank in the head. Really, PG? This kind of stuff is in “R” rated movies. How did that slip by the TV rating department? I wasted 4 hours of my time. The original was superior.
Hubby and I had been looking forward to this for weeks!! A&E did a massive promo for it and we thought, hmmm, must be good!!
What a waste of 4 hours! crap crap crap
I feel like I should be beaten like a red-headed stepchild for falling for that hyped-up promo…PUNCH..PUNCH……….PUNCH!!!
Vic allmost a no hitter!
Only 1 positive comment out of 16.
Hahaaaa!
The scene in which the dead chap’s thumb was tossed up the elevator shaft by hero2 and caught by hero3 was the only “thumbs up” for the entire 4 hours. The toss suggested that the mini series may have been a dark comedy conceived by the writer in retribution for having been asked to update the 1971 classic.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one to think this movie was junk. It had its moments but soon diminshed into that wormhole. Why oh why would an advanced human race from the future send back the very virus that was killing it with a built in message on how to kill it? Why not just send a message saying, “Hey, don’t destroy that bacterium at the bottom of the ocean because you will need it in the future”. AND WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT SYMBOL???!!! Oh, and the coup de gras, the virus actually turned on a nuclear missile; WHO WRITES THIS STUFF???!!!
Kahless, time to charge those disruptors and find some petaQs.
Finally, some real action!!
)
Perhaps this absoute mount everest of crap should have come with the same type of disclaimer used in many commercials hawking new and improved ways to treat various human maladies…
“Side effects may include vomiting, lack of interest, lack of sleep, dissapointment,smashed television screens, disorientation, and the urge to mutter- “What the hell was that all about?”
A&E really put their stamp on this former classic:
Assinine & Entirely pointless!!!
you got it. I watched part 1 and could not believe what a terrible, terrible show this was. the character development is forced, unnatural, cliche’d and completely unconvincing.
The team get gathered into an ABSURD secret underground lab, where everything is done via voice controlled computers (somehow they all know exactly how to operate everything, despite never having been there), and they keep telling each other they don’t have much time, yet two of them are sitting down drinking coffee together, while a baby and an old man are lying in quarantine!
An then there’s the science! my GOD! “Bucky balls are theoretical, don’t exist and were named after their inventor Buckminster Fuller”. wrong, wrong,and wrong.
They are real, they do exist, and Fuller did nothing of the sort.
This is easily the worst tv show I have ever seen. and that is saying something. I’m going to download part 2 – I’ve heard it’s even worse!
“I’m going to download part 2 – I’ve heard it’s even worse!”
Brace yourself, because it gets so much worse. It makes me wish MST3K was still on the air.
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