Review: Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem

Published 6 years ago by , Updated February 9th, 2012 at 9:53 pm,

By Vic Holtreman

Short version: I didn’t think it was possible, but AVP-R is worse than the previous Aliens vs Predator movie.

avp2 trailer Review: Aliens Vs Predator: RequiemAbandon all hope ye who enter a movie theater that is showing Aliens vs Predator: Requiem.

It’s that bad. I kid you not. As first time directors, “The Brothers Strauss” (as they are referred to in the credits) are great visual effects guys. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with ways to tell you just how depressingly awful this movie is, but I’ll do my best.


Within minutes of the start of the film I was bored and my mind started to wander. It opens aboard a Predator ship, where a dead comrade is presumably being transported to the home world directly after the events of the last film. An Alien bursts forth from the dead Predator, shortly taking out the entire crew and crashing the ship on Earth.

Immediately I wondered just how this could happen so easily. In the last film the premise was that Predators had been using Antarctica as the location for a rite of passage or training ground for Predators. For many years (was it centuries?) the Predator race had been doing this very thing.

So how is it that they could be so oblivious to the possibility that a dead comrade might be home to a gestating Alien? How is it that one Alien was able to take down the crew of a Predator ship (these guys ARE hunters, right?) so easily?

Once the ship crashes one of the mortally injured Predators manages to send a distress call which is pi,cked up by an elder on their home world. It was marginally cool to get a glimpse of their world, but that’s about it. He heads out for destination Earth.

Once the story cuts to the residents of the small town it gets even worse. We meet a variety of characters whose lives will clumsily come together as the movie progresses. We have an inexperienced (and inept) sheriff, the rebel/criminal brother of a local teen who comes back to town, that teen lusting after the local hottie who is dating a jerk/bully.

We also have Reiko Aylesworth as Kelly: a mom returning home after some unspecified amount of time to an estranged little girl and stay at home dad. The whole role reversal thing here creeped me out a bit for some reason.

She is probably the only person in the entire film who demonstrated any acting ability above what you might see in a high school play. We don’t really care about what happens to any of the characters despite the weak attempts at trying to connect the audience with them.

Oh, who cares about the acting, right? You want to see this for the action. Well I’m sorry to report that 90% of the time the scenes were shot in such a way that between the low lighting, rain, extreme close ups and quick cuts you can’t even tell what the hell is going on. Nor do you care much, as the whole thing seems assembled with less reason for being than a video game plot.

Then there were the really vile bits, like Aliens invading a hospital and finding easy hosts for their “little ones.” Beyond the idea of using the sick and helpless for this were a couple of scenes in the maternity ward where a woman who is going into labor is attacked by an Alien and has eggs deposited inside her in a repulsive manner (no, not THAT, but it was still disgusting).

Seriously, if I wasn’t going to review this I was so bored and disinterested I would have walked out 20 minutes in. It seems that my initial reactions to AVP-R turned out to be right after all. Of late I had been getting cautiously optimistic that there might be some chance that this would actually redeem the first, but it’s actually worse.

While I gave the first on only 1.5 stars, at least it got to be a bit of fun in the second half, but this one is almost completely without any value. There were a couple of very brief moments that were cool between the Pred-Alien and the Predator, but I’d count those at no more than maybe two or three eye-blink moments, tops.

I know the Strauss brothers are big fans of both franchises and had good intentions, but Aliens vs Predator: Requiem proves that being a big movie fan does not necessarily mean that you can make a good movie.

Folks, seriously, don’t bother. This thing is going to tank hard at the box office and if you see it anyway don’t come crying to me because YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I can only hope this will sound the death knell for this sci fi movie franchise merger.

Our Rating:

0.5 out of 5
(Incoherent)

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TAGS: 0 star movies, alien vs predator

100 Comments

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  1. avp 2 rocks

    i agree with some of the comments apart from the bits where people are dishing the hospital scene (IT A HORROR) do people expect that women and children wouldnt be effected by the aliens Come On people. It was great graphic wise.

    9/10 for the graphics

    8/10 for the film.

    6/10 for the acting

  2. I’m suprised to see less about the pregnant women scenes, they were gross. I mean, when the Pred-Alien vomits babies down the woman’s throught it wasn’t that bad. But why did they have her say “oh nurse! my water just broke” beforehand. And for god’s sake, why did they make her act like she was in labor when the 5 chestbursters(uterusbursters?) crawl out of her pregnant belly. And WHY the HELL did they show bits of eaten fetus in there with it. Who knows.

    There was a bit earlier with a waitress who had the same thing happen to her, they could have shown them burst out of her, instead of the tasteless gore that was the hospital scene. Let it be known that the only other scene I had issue with was the part where the Pred-Alien looked over the babies in the maternity ward like a fat man at a buffet. Also, the whole IDEA behind the Alien’s reproductive cycle is supposed to be a perversion of birth. Thats why the host in Alien was a man. To screw with the preconcieved notions that rape and “birth” only happen to women. They just pushed it beyond that imperceptible line between “slasher flick” and “pervy snuff film showing a horse rape a dog in the background”. Babies and pregnant women are supposed to be sacred in relation to this type of film.

    I LEFT THE THEATER FEELING DIRTY, VIOLATED AND DISGUSTED.

  3. Yeah Hunter I felt the same way. Those maternity ward scenes were abomanable and truly disgusting.
    ^
    When I pay to see a Aliens vs Predator film its not to see helpless people die horribly. (Not what I’m into).
    ^
    If they do another AvP film I won’t even go. I’m done with that “franchise” if you can call it that.

  4. I had to respond. Horror movies are intended to do these things, PEOPLE! Killing innocent people has been the premise for horror/gore/thriller movies since i could remember. Really why are you seeing this movie if you are expecting PG-13 transformers action where CGI is mistaken for ideas? Don’t get me wrong, i liked transformers, but that movie and avp-R (i wish could highlight ‘R’) are a completely different franchise. Wheres the fun in Jason part one through 10, in Nightmare on Elm St part 4 – where Freddy turns a women (who loathes bugs) into a cockroach and makes her run around a roach motel, which is squished by his own hands concluding the scene with a great quote “you can check in, but you cant check out.” I’ll tell where the fun is – killing innocent people. Now, that scene is I think is a bit more disgusting that our oh so vile pregnant women scene. And when was this movie made? Not 10. Not 15. 20 years ago. 1988. If you haven’t seen it check it out. Now, in those movies they were mostly teens and i think no one can get enough of some mad men, cloaked or even in your dreams, killing off teens who are usually under the influence or “getting it on.” Now, theres far more worse its just this movie that was surprisingly put in the mainstream. IT ISN’T REAL! I really don’t see the problem with killing a women whos pregnant anyway. You think that alien cares? Hes making more of his/her kind. When i see stuff like that i try not to take too personally. I leave those violated/ disgusted/dirty feelings when i see REAL snuff (theres some pretty gross stuff out there… thank you internet?), those youtube fights videos or some guy REALLY getting mauled by a tiger or when my car gets stolen. The end!

  5. I remember that NMOES scene marc that’s was in the film “Dream Warriors” back then the effects were done in such a way that it didn’t look real.
    ^
    AvP was brutal, I was expecting a Sci-Fi film not “faces of death” part 6.
    ^
    Its disturbing to me marc that you see no prob with killing a pregnant women.
    Even a Predator won’t kill a Pregnant woman.

  6. i totally agree with marc. it not real why do people take things so seriously when it just a film.

    p.s the film is set over 48 hours not 24 if you wanna check

  7. i have to say i thought the hellraiser films where one of the best horror films of all time. Unlike brain dead (worst film in history)

  8. I swear to god I am sick of hypocrits like this guy! They have no lifes so they use there worthless exsistence to drop unnessicary bombs on really good movies! I loved this movie and even though the first one wasnt quite that good it was still a kick-ass thrill ride that brought back the 2 deadliest creatures of the 70s and 80s and put theme in combat. I admit there were some unnessicary parts like the hospital scene and the little boy but in a way that was just showing how nasty and bloodthirsty the xenomorphs are! Im also sick of hearing how bad the acting is and how there wasnt any of the old actors in the movie and thats for 2 reasons: 1. The freaken movie is called Aliens Vs Predator not Aliens Vs Predator: With a romantic human twist. The movie is about 2 deadly creatures whooping ass and humans caught in the middle. 2. Most of the actors from the old movies are old and are probily in wheelchairs by now! I swear even if this movie had no humans at all and was justthe movie from the Aliens or Predators side of the story then you losers would insult it for that too so if your a fan of Aliens and Predators and love the franchise then go watch it and look for the good and not the bad and youll feel proud of the money you spent but if your someone who doesnt like anything about The 2 movies then dont see it! Save all the fans the time of having too correct you and get a REAL JOB!

  9. i totally agree with what aaron says

  10. awesome web site vic

  11. GLAD TO SEE MORE PEOPLE STICKING UP FOR THIS MOVIE!!
    IT REALLY DIDN’T DESERVE 1 STAR FROM SCREEN RANT!
    COME ON GIVE IT 3! IT’S A GOOD HORROR ACTION BIT OF FUN!!!

  12. Half a star graham..
    ^
    This pile will be out on dvd soon.
    Enjoy!!!!!!

  13. i put up a response, but i have no clue what happened to it. maybe because i pasted an imdb link on here? whatever, heres a “cliffs” version.

    Professor Steve Adams should do his homework – the awesome cockroach scene is in Freddy part 4: DREAM MASTER not the movie HE mentioned – dream warriors. also, he says the effects didn’t “look real.” first, i disagree with that. second, its a woman turning into a cockroach how real do you want it to look? i think for 1988 they did a really good job. then again i admit i hate excessive CGI and thats one way they would ruin it if freddy 4 was put out today. so much computer graphics on the screen you have no clue what is going on. some looks amazing and some just looks like a cartoon. matrix 2 anyone?

    i would like to redeem any decency i have and say no, i would not like to see a pregnant woman getting killed. however, i do like to see an actress acting like a pregnant woman that is staged in a scene where there are men in fake suits that are set to look like aliens that kill her… its just when i explain it THAT way it takes all (really all of it) the fun out of scary movies. the end!

  14. Nightmare on Elm st part 3 “Dream Wariors”
    Nightmare on Elm st part 4 “Dream master”.

    Sorry I got them confused. Its been like 20 years since I gave a crap…

  15. SORRY MATE BUT YOU MUST HAVE BEEN HAVING A BAD DAY WHEN YOU HAD TO SEE THIS MOVIE.
    IF IT AINT YOUR TYPE OF MOVIE THAT’S ALRIGHT BUT ALL I AM TRYING TO GET THROUGH IS THAT IT IS NOT A “BAD MOVIE”, IT’S A PRETTY ENJOYABLE ONE!
    NUFF SAID!

  16. Yeah I love seeing people stand up for this movie! Sorry Vic!

  17. Let’s face-hugger it, the real Aliens vs Predator…..
    (Clinton vs McCain)

  18. So Aaron, was that “sorry” for:

    - Calling me a “hypocrit”[sic]
    - Having a “worthless exsistence”[sic]
    - Being a “loser”

    or for saying that I should “get a REAL JOB”?

    Or was it an apology for the fact that you can’t spell correctly?

    Fine, you liked it. Did I call anyone names because they liked this stupid movie? If it’s so freaking AWESOME, why did it only gross $41MM in the U.S.? People don’t listen to critics, right? So word of mouth should have made this movie a lot more money.

    Freaking “NORBIT” made TWICE as much money as AVP-R and that got crap reviews too. So what does that tell you?

    Or do I have to spell it out for you?

    Best regards,

    Vic

  19. Hey Aaron, Mel and Graham time for a group face-hug?

    :¤ :¤ :¤

  20. Hey Vic, I’m all in favor of locking this thread down…^
    If I have to read another stellar review of this “film” I’m going to loose all hope for humanity.

  21. The 0.5 out of 5 seems a bit harsh but when this just came out a mate of mine told me it suuuuckkkked!. So I, didn’t bother to go to the cinema to watch it.

    It’s NOT worth the price of an admission ticket that is for sure, but as far as ‘action’ films go…it wasn’t too bad. The gore was cool. There were some ace moments, especially when the teen hottie got nailed *cough* to the wall (SOB!, she really was cuuuutte…but it ain’t like she’s gonna seduce any of the Aliens right?). The rest of it was hmm…pretty obvious.

    We all saw the nuke coming, we all knew the pe0ns in the city center were dead one way or another. We also knew that there was going to be a chopper escaping the bomb scene. Correct me if I’m wrong though – I would *think* that a 200k-ton bomb would ‘have’? to be a nuke? In which case, shouldn’t the EMP have killed them? No matter whatever mad skills you may have, a chopper with no power == bye bye!

    I also found Michelle Desler’s (LOL) initial shock to that brother with the gun rather odd. She almost screamed! Is that the kind of reaction an army (or what have you) seasoned vet would have to a guy in a gun? If she wasn’t half decent what’s with her toting NV goggles back home?

    Also, what’s with Ms. Utani…that bit made no sense apart from..”We’ll be back…” – let’s just hope that this time around they get it right and PLEASE get someone else to direct it this time!

    Cheers,
    Mike

  22. Set more indepth into the close proximity of what no human wants to ever experience, based on what as humans we currently beleive is a secure planet out of the reach of potential harm comes to public light a new killer species.

    After the predators unwittingly take onboard there ship of what they beleive is a dead predator, slayed and hosted from the previous Alien Versus Predator movie, a new born cross breed is hatched, this the cross between an Alien and a Predator, most deadly, smarter and wiser than the current Alien species we have come to know.

    This cross breed is responsible for the devestation that occurs on the Predators ship, which is closely orbiting mother Earth.

    The aliens and at a latter stage the master predator on an alternative ship invades earth, the aliens in this case escape on what seems to be a pod of some type from the Predators ship progressively leading the aliens to stumble across the natural habitat of humans, perfect for there natural killing instincts and abilities.

    Close to home strikes the reality of vicious, intelligent and highly gory killer out of this world alien and off spree aliens, with forcus on a main Predator character in revenge of the newly slaughtered Predators.

    After missing parties of humans, and in some instances found bodies, mutilated and generally sevred in some instances alerts the local quiet community of unknown attacks by unknown entities, this occuring at a little town in collorado where a surviving team of humans band together for the fight for survival.

    The Military also known as the National Guard (NG) get involved in a confrontation with the at-our-door-step vicious deadly killing machines (the aliens), but ill prepared and not knowingly these soldiers step into the killing grounds which is the centre of the town.

    A Predator hell bent on taking down the aliens responsible for this invasion takes the role of a lead character attempting to secure the threat to the Predator race and to stop an invasion that would lead ultimately to the expansion of a new alien inhabited world.

    Serious fighting takes place in a local community where damages on a devastating scale commences in some appropriate and not so appropriate locations, for example the hospital, ultimately leading to the death of all in this local community bar the survivors who escaped on what seems to be an evac-come helicopter, only to crash land at a later date due to an army commander firing a missile on the designated contamited area.

    This movie overall gives the viewer a distinct feel that some how as a human race we neglect to realise the potential harm of what is as some refer to as ‘out there’. The realisation of how humans are insufficiently matched against multiple hostiles with killer abilities and unknown technology are rapidly taking over our planet earth at a rate not known as human to human conflicts.

    Although in parts, the movie seems to lack quite the story line detailed as out given above, the movie was steadily involving the viewer with a more generalized over view of what is happening.

    Albeit multiple viewers comments on this movie about budgeting and role play, personally I thought this movie was worth watching, with an anticipated arrival of a new movie, as indicated by the ending of this movie.

  23. I have to say i liked this movie. i wont say it lived up to Aliens or Predator. I will say it kicked aliens 3 and 4 by far since someone went and destroyed and wrecked great movies. Anyway the movie didnt have the greatest acting and i think they went way to far into thier own personal lives. anyway with some of the things your saying if you buy or rent this movie and watch a few of the special features youll see some of the things they were getting at with the movie. and incase your wondering the original script they had, had the predalien ded on page like five (it died in the crash). So the movie could have been worse. anyway they were trying to bring back that creepy vibe from the original aliens. One thing that bugged me is how people keep saying is how they’re got to be so many aliens so fast. 1.they’re are a few facehuggers to start it off and 2.the predalien if you look puts like five eggs in each person. If you ever watch a few of the special features though you can actually see the whole predalien. The thing i thought was the very dummest thing about the movie is how they made the predalien just blindly be on the alien side having some predator you think it would have some individuality in it. I thought they may even bring in a fourth race (kinda) to the franchise. In some areas i could have written better parts for the movie but in some they went perfectly along like they should. so id give it probably a 6 or 7 outta ten.

  24. Dosnt matter how many eggs, the jestation to maturation rate was the fastest in any of the previous films.
    Jestation to maturation used to take days. Not 30min.

    At times I was reminded of Benny Hill.
    (Everyone running in fast forward with that stupid circus song playing in the backgorund).

  25. I just watched this movie and I have to utterly and totally disagree with you because obvously you are either an alien/predator film nazi OR your jus jumping on the hate the film “bandwagon” simply out the second film was such an vastly better film than the first…minus the issue of “jestation to maturation rate” which i agree with.

  26. I am continually amazed at the fact that when someone has a different opinion than someone else it automatically makes them a “nazi,” and “idiot” or some other wonderful name, becuase only THEIR opinion can POSSIBLY be valid.

    I’m really quite sick of that attitude.

    Vic

  27. First: Godwin’s Law is now in effect.
    Second: Sorry Vic, but opinions can be a dangerous thing. It’s great that you have your own views, but if you don’t want to be attacked by fans, idiots, and those that just love to start an argument don’t post you views on the internet. And if you still feel a need to let the world know that you think somethings bad than prepared to be fired upon.

    I am really quite sick of the attitude were people assume that their opinions are allowed to be unjustly judged by others just because its THEIR opinion.

    Get over yourself.

  28. “I am really quite sick of the attitude were[sic] people assume that their opinions are [not] allowed to be unjustly judged by others just because its THEIR opinion.”

    Although you mis-typed something in your statement, I found myself agreeing with you until you had to go and blow it with this:

    “Get over yourself.”

    Get over MYSELF? You obviously missed my point, which is while I express my point of view in a logical, intelligent manner, most (not all) of those who disagree regarding this film have arguments that amount to “You suck! This movie rocked you idiot!”

    Why don’t you tell those immature and rude idiots to get over THEMSELVES, eh?

    Best regards and perhaps you should get over yourself as well.

    Vic

  29. Vic..care for round two on the helping those less fortunate…. :)

    Just being Cheeky Vic..there is no need to be rude to anyone because of their opinion not agreeing with what you believe..you can say anything you want if you find the right words instead of just sending insulting barbs at those you disagree with…when I say you, I don’t mean “you”specifically. I am talking about opinions in general…

    Cheers

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