Review: Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem

Published 6 years ago by , Updated February 9th, 2012 at 9:53 pm,

By Vic Holtreman

Short version: I didn’t think it was possible, but AVP-R is worse than the previous Aliens vs Predator movie.

avp2 trailer Review: Aliens Vs Predator: RequiemAbandon all hope ye who enter a movie theater that is showing Aliens vs Predator: Requiem.

It’s that bad. I kid you not. As first time directors, “The Brothers Strauss” (as they are referred to in the credits) are great visual effects guys. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with ways to tell you just how depressingly awful this movie is, but I’ll do my best.


Within minutes of the start of the film I was bored and my mind started to wander. It opens aboard a Predator ship, where a dead comrade is presumably being transported to the home world directly after the events of the last film. An Alien bursts forth from the dead Predator, shortly taking out the entire crew and crashing the ship on Earth.

Immediately I wondered just how this could happen so easily. In the last film the premise was that Predators had been using Antarctica as the location for a rite of passage or training ground for Predators. For many years (was it centuries?) the Predator race had been doing this very thing.

So how is it that they could be so oblivious to the possibility that a dead comrade might be home to a gestating Alien? How is it that one Alien was able to take down the crew of a Predator ship (these guys ARE hunters, right?) so easily?

Once the ship crashes one of the mortally injured Predators manages to send a distress call which is pi,cked up by an elder on their home world. It was marginally cool to get a glimpse of their world, but that’s about it. He heads out for destination Earth.

Once the story cuts to the residents of the small town it gets even worse. We meet a variety of characters whose lives will clumsily come together as the movie progresses. We have an inexperienced (and inept) sheriff, the rebel/criminal brother of a local teen who comes back to town, that teen lusting after the local hottie who is dating a jerk/bully.

We also have Reiko Aylesworth as Kelly: a mom returning home after some unspecified amount of time to an estranged little girl and stay at home dad. The whole role reversal thing here creeped me out a bit for some reason.

She is probably the only person in the entire film who demonstrated any acting ability above what you might see in a high school play. We don’t really care about what happens to any of the characters despite the weak attempts at trying to connect the audience with them.

Oh, who cares about the acting, right? You want to see this for the action. Well I’m sorry to report that 90% of the time the scenes were shot in such a way that between the low lighting, rain, extreme close ups and quick cuts you can’t even tell what the hell is going on. Nor do you care much, as the whole thing seems assembled with less reason for being than a video game plot.

Then there were the really vile bits, like Aliens invading a hospital and finding easy hosts for their “little ones.” Beyond the idea of using the sick and helpless for this were a couple of scenes in the maternity ward where a woman who is going into labor is attacked by an Alien and has eggs deposited inside her in a repulsive manner (no, not THAT, but it was still disgusting).

Seriously, if I wasn’t going to review this I was so bored and disinterested I would have walked out 20 minutes in. It seems that my initial reactions to AVP-R turned out to be right after all. Of late I had been getting cautiously optimistic that there might be some chance that this would actually redeem the first, but it’s actually worse.

While I gave the first on only 1.5 stars, at least it got to be a bit of fun in the second half, but this one is almost completely without any value. There were a couple of very brief moments that were cool between the Pred-Alien and the Predator, but I’d count those at no more than maybe two or three eye-blink moments, tops.

I know the Strauss brothers are big fans of both franchises and had good intentions, but Aliens vs Predator: Requiem proves that being a big movie fan does not necessarily mean that you can make a good movie.

Folks, seriously, don’t bother. This thing is going to tank hard at the box office and if you see it anyway don’t come crying to me because YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I can only hope this will sound the death knell for this sci fi movie franchise merger.

Our Rating:

0.5 out of 5
(Incoherent)

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TAGS: 0 star movies, alien vs predator

100 Comments

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  1. Best to you Adrian!
    ^
    I look forward to the young talent out there to someday save us from this “fun in the sun” garbage.
    ^

  2. Hey, Adrian,
    you have restored my faith in the future of movies! Keep up the good work! Certainly a 16 year old can do better than the schlock that is being served up today on multi million budgets. There are so many talented si- fi writers today. All apparently ignored when it comes to creating a movie script.
    I took my son and 13 year old daughter to see this last night. She laughed all the way through it. Thought it was a great comedy.
    (We also had to sit through 30 minutes of mainly adverts and trailers before the movie!!!. Curse you Hoyts!!!)
    I found the hospital scenes quite vile and totally irrelevant to the ‘plot’. Trying to ‘outdo’ Saw and Hostel perhaps??
    Everyone seems to pan the first movie. For what it was I quite liked it, (with reservations), certainly found it better than this sequel. Does ‘Requiem’ in this title signify the death of the franchaise?

  3. I couldn’t dissagree more with you. In my opinion AVP-R was a vast imrovment upon the previous movie. To your question of how the Predalien could take down the Predator ship single-handedly, it was OBVIOUS that the Predalien was much stronger, larger and more intellegent then the other aliens, and, if you couple that with the fact that the predators were caught with their proverbial pants down AND that it was in their ship (imagine a feral grizzly in the shace shuttle; the things gonna go down) then it’s easy to see how things went so horribly wrong for the predators aboard said spaceship.
    You ARE right about how they should’ve thought’ve the possibility that he was carrying a chestburster before picking him up though. I dunno. Maybe they were stoned.
    The hospital scenes did make me cringe, but that was the point. It’s a sci-fi/HORROR movie. You should see some of the other horror movies as of late.
    They make AVP-R look like “Gumby’s Christmas Specail” by comparison.
    But we’re cool right? ._.

  4. Kent knowhere on this post has anyone stated how a predalien could take down a predator ship..

    Read the posts I challenge you to tell me where you find that…
    ^
    The biggest problem with this film in relation to Alien cannon was the way the Predalien reproduced 20 predators in a matter of hours.
    ^
    The film coulda been better….

  5. Kent,

    We’re totally cool as long as you continue to express your opinions in an intelligent and polite manner. I have no problem with people who disagree with me and encourage discussion and debate here on Screen Rant as long as it doesn’t devolve into emotional name-calling.

    You DID make a good point about the fact that the Alien was part Predator contributing to how it could have made it easier for it to take down the other Predators. :-)

    Best regards,

    Vic

  6. thanks donneperth and steve adams, it feels good to know that i got some support. I really want to make movies one day and know i could do it if i work hard and really put my mind to it. here are some movies i would like to make:
    - the darkness (based off the comic)
    - twisted christmas
    - spore (horror movie)
    - spawn (based on the comic) one film i would love to do the most because its my favorite comic.
    - a dragon movie based in modern times
    - the roar of war, and action packed trilogy
    - the waliking dead (also a comic)
    - daywalkers (a group of people who hunt vampires and werewolves)
    and maybe a monster movie or an alien invasion movie, what ever one that captures my intrest the most, or maybe both, who knows? it seems like a bit much, but i know i can do it.

  7. Good concepts except for the modern day dragon film. Didn’t they allready make that film. I can’t remeber the title. I know Alice Krige is in it….
    ^
    Here’s a concept for you Adrian,
    I would love to see a WaterWorld type film right after the flooding due to global warming.
    It would have more islands and city buildings sticking up out of the water then Waterworld did. And more mutetated sea life I’m typing giant whales and sharks.
    There could be fleets of miltary aircraft carrers that rule the world the possiblities are endless. :)

  8. This movie really sucked ass. I saw it Xmas day and almost pulled my hair out it was so bad. I was a huge fan of the Aliens franchise and this movie was crap. I could not see anything during the fight scenes and felt bad for Reiko (24) and the guy from Rescue Me who were stuck in this clunker.

  9. Yeah Yapper I totally agree…..!

  10. Drat, guys! Now I don’t know what to do. I really wanted to see this film but now, I’m not soo sure I want to waste money on it. Rotten tomatoes gave it %15, which means some critics thought it was worth seeing, but you guys are real people. Maybe I should just wait for Cloverfield.

  11. John there was about 5 min in there that I liked.
    (Scene with the predator homeworld.
    Other than that the Cloverfield TRAILER’s are more fun to watch. :)

  12. Trust me, you will go in wating to love the movie, but leave dissapointed. Watch the Last AVP much better (and thats not saying much)

  13. OK, I had some time to kill this past Saturday while my wife was in class. I decided to see this movie mainly because there wasn’t anything else out that I wanted to see. I got some popcorn, a diet coke and some peanut M&Ms; the popcorn was more satisfying that this garbage of a movie. I know, I should have listened to you all but my father told me I’m bullheaded, so there :o)

    I still don’t know exactly how the predalien looks. I got glimpses of it from time to time but no full body shot. About the scene in the maternity ward? I couldn’t even tell you because I fell asleep before they got there. The movie was boring, predictable, and badly shot. There were only 2 people I recongnized in the movie; the guy who had the weapon in the briefcase and Ms. Utani. I have no clue who the rest of those actors were.

  14. Sorry John we tried to warn ya!!
    ^
    The predalien looked like a walking cockroach.

  15. I’m not trying to “brainwash” anyone. I just try to help people avoid crappy movies and discourage studios from putting out said crappy movies.

    If this movie was actually GOOD, word of mouth would have cancelled out bad reviews and it would have made a ton of money.

    But it hasn’t – it’s been out almost 4 weeks and has only now broken $40MM in the U.S. That tells me that most people think it stinks.

    But hey, everyone is entitled to their opinion. :-)

    Vic

  16. Avp is the perfect film for you Saad.
    ^

  17. DON’T LISTEN TO ALL THESE CRAP REVIEWS OF AVP-R FOLKS, I JUST SAW IT TODAY AND THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT FUN HORROR-SI-FI!!!
    IT’S FUN!! GREAT ACTION AND EFFECTS AND THE ACTING IS OK!
    IT AIN’T SHAKESPEAR IT’S JUST T GREAT MOVIE MONSTERS HAVIN’ A BATTLE!!
    C’MON YOU HEAVY PEOPLE OUT THERE, LIGHTEN UP!!
    I GIVE IT 3 STARS OUT OF FIVE!!!

  18. Hey Graham your a little late. The “film” is allmost out of all the theatres… :(

  19. If my Fruit of the Looms, could audibly form sentences or type on a keyboard,,, uh huh,,that’s right.

    it would first say, “Solient Green is People” and then it would say “AvP requim sucks, its really bad, it stinks! don’t go”…….!!!!!!!

    Fruit from the Loom don’t lie,…kile.

  20. I’M IN SCOTLAND AND THE MOVIE JUST CAME OUT HERE!!!
    I READ THE REVIEWS HERE BEFORE GOING AND WAS EXPECTING THE WORST BUT WAS PLEASED TO ENJOY A NOT TOO BAD MOVIE!!
    I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE MAKE THERE MINDS UP IN ADVANCED BEFORE GOING TO SEE MOVIES.
    I LOVED THE FIRST PRED MOVIE WITH BIG ARNIE AND I LOVED ALIEN AND WITHOUT ARNIE AND WEAVER IN THESE NEW MOVIES TO GIVE IT THAT REAL TOUCH OF CLASS THEN WE GOT TO JUST ENJOY THESE FANTASY FUN FILMS
    I REST MY CASE!!

  21. Graham,

    I guess everyone has their own taste in movies, but if you look through the articles I wrote leading up to the release of this film you’ll see that I was actually getting quite optimistic about it.

    Of course watching the film changed all that.

    Best regards,

    Vic

  22. i read the review and i must disagree. i saw avp the weekend it came out and have to say i liked it alot. being a fan of all the movies (except aliens 4 and the first avp) i think the guys who made this movie did their homework. also, this might have been a rumor, but i heard that it came out to make up for the first AVP. well, if that rumor is true you got my vote. comparing it to avp one AVP-R is a 10 hands down. comparing it to the other movies thats going a bit too far. people are complaining about not enough of predators. well, if you look back predator one and two really only have one predator stalking a city or jungle. the predator is a loner in the scheme of things. whoever got the idea that this predator in the AVP-R is some kind of hero you can forget that. he just cleaning up the mess in this one. you didnt like the scene in the sewer? ok now as for the acting that can just goes out the window… who did you people expect brad pitt to save the day?! no they numbers – people they can just kill off and thats that. seriously its 2008?! how many scary movies these days do see top billing when everything ISNT centered around them…. you think we have arnold, paxton, glover, micheal bean, weaver these days? (if you dont know who these peoply are – look em up!) no. now we must get low paid actors that dont really have any status so it is easy to kill them off. yeah you are right that its stock casting with the “outcast” or “bully” or “hot chick” but what movie do you get to see aliens kill off that hot chick, a little kid and pregnant woman?! these are aliens. just like insects. they have no remorse or conscience. brutal and no mercy. well, i must be stupid to many of you on here, but im down for AVP-R and really. fully entertained on my part, however, im deeply into 80s movies as well… so that might hinder your opinons. =)

    keep on truckin’.

  23. Marc,

    Your comment is the most intelligent “pro-AVP-R” post I have read ANYWHERE to date. For the record, I’m a huge fan of 80′s movies as well (you should run, and not walk, to see the new “Rambo”).

    Actors don’t have to be famous to be good at their jobs, but they can only do so much with the script they are given.

    You are welcome to come back and comment any time, even if you disagree. :-)

    Best regards,

    Vic

  24. Hey marc, you didn’t have a problem with how fast the aliens were reproducing themselves. I mean dude the entire film took place in a 24 hour period. By the end of the film there had to be 50 aliens.
    ^
    Your old school marc. Did you ever see that occur before in the other films. Didn’t it usally take like at least a day for the chest buster to come out and then it would take more time for them to grow?

  25. I really wanted to see this movie. I guess I am one of the few people that really enjoyed the first AVP movie. I didn’t try to hold up to the originals, but to have it stand out on it’s own. To me, it did that, as I was entertained for the length of the film. However, after reading the reviews of all the people here, I am glad that I decided to spend my movie money that week on National Treaaure 2 instead. I will still probably end up seeing this in the future, either through Netflix or on tv, but now it is not in my “MUST SEE” pile.

    BTW, Vic, on a side note, I have to tell you that I am enjoying the site. I appreciate all the effort you’ve put into your reviews and responses in the comments!! Keep up the great work!!

  26. Hey Andy, I also loved the first Aliens vs Predator.
    ^
    I liked the fact that the predator and the girl teamed up.
    ^
    At the end they (predators) throw her an old gun like a trophy she earned in battle yet leave her stranded in the arctic. I loved it!
    ^
    The predators remind me of Klingons in a way.

  27. Thanks, Andy. Great to have you here. :-)

    Vic

  28. You know steve, the Preds ARE similar to the Klingons!!

  29. Cant help but think some of the comments on this movie are a little harsh! Yeah, its not exactly top trumps, and yes the predator dude was a bit wooden and generally not that hard looking, but man!.. What a rocking gore fest! Credit where its due for the targeting of the weak and infirm.. Classic natural selection in action!
    Lets not forget that the first alien to appear was a hybridized predator.. Bad A$$ for any space fairing species to deal with, especially the dim witted predator that shot the guts out of his own ship (which caused it to crash right?)..
    This films definately worth a shuffle on down to the pictures… 8/10 for putting humans in there rightful place!! All we need now is Alien Vs Predator Vs Terminator… hehe!! Come on Arnie, you know you want to….

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