Rating:
0.5 out of 5
By Vic Holtreman
Short version: I didn’t think it was possible, but AVP-R is worse than the previous Aliens vs Predator movie.
Abandon all hope ye who enter a movie theater that is showing Aliens vs Predator: Requiem.
It’s that bad. I kid you not. As first time directors, “The Brothers Strauss” (as they are referred to in the credits) are great visual effects guys. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with ways to tell you just how depressingly awful this movie is, but I’ll do my best.
|
|
Within minutes of the start of the film I was bored and my mind started to wander. It opens aboard a Predator ship, where a dead comrade is presumably being transported to the home world directly after the events of the last film. An Alien bursts forth from the dead Predator, shortly taking out the entire crew and crashing the ship on Earth.
Immediately I wondered just how this could happen so easily. In the last film the premise was that Predators had been using Antarctica as the location for a rite of passage or training ground for Predators. For many years (was it centuries?) the Predator race had been doing this very thing.
So how is it that they could be so oblivious to the possibility that a dead comrade might be home to a gestating Alien? How is it that one Alien was able to take down the crew of a Predator ship (these guys ARE hunters, right?) so easily?
Once the ship crashes one of the mortally injured Predators manages to send a distress call which is pi,cked up by an elder on their home world. It was marginally cool to get a glimpse of their world, but that’s about it. He heads out for destination Earth.
Once the story cuts to the residents of the small town it gets even worse. We meet a variety of characters whose lives will clumsily come together as the movie progresses. We have an inexperienced (and inept) sheriff, the rebel/criminal brother of a local teen who comes back to town, that teen lusting after the local hottie who is dating a jerk/bully.
We also have Reiko Aylesworth as Kelly: a mom returning home after some unspecified amount of time to an estranged little girl and stay at home dad. The whole role reversal thing here creeped me out a bit for some reason.
She is probably the only person in the entire film who demonstrated any acting ability above what you might see in a high school play. We don’t really care about what happens to any of the characters despite the weak attempts at trying to connect the audience with them.
Oh, who cares about the acting, right? You want to see this for the action. Well I’m sorry to report that 90% of the time the scenes were shot in such a way that between the low lighting, rain, extreme close ups and quick cuts you can’t even tell what the hell is going on. Nor do you care much, as the whole thing seems assembled with less reason for being than a video game plot.
Then there were the really vile bits, like Aliens invading a hospital and finding easy hosts for their “little ones.” Beyond the idea of using the sick and helpless for this were a couple of scenes in the maternity ward where a woman who is going into labor is attacked by an Alien and has eggs deposited inside her in a repulsive manner (no, not THAT, but it was still disgusting).
Seriously, if I wasn’t going to review this I was so bored and disinterested I would have walked out 20 minutes in. It seems that my initial reactions to AVP-R turned out to be right after all. Of late I had been getting cautiously optimistic that there might be some chance that this would actually redeem the first, but it’s actually worse.
While I gave the first on only 1.5 stars, at least it got to be a bit of fun in the second half, but this one is almost completely without any value. There were a couple of very brief moments that were cool between the Pred-Alien and the Predator, but I’d count those at no more than maybe two or three eye-blink moments, tops.
I know the Strauss brothers are big fans of both franchises and had good intentions, but Aliens vs Predator: Requiem proves that being a big movie fan does not necessarily mean that you can make a good movie.
Folks, seriously, don’t bother. This thing is going to tank hard at the box office and if you see it anyway don’t come crying to me because YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I can only hope this will sound the death knell for this sci fi movie franchise merger.
Loading ...
95 Comments
Damn, And I was just saying to the misses that we should break out the Alien and Predator Movies, then AVP, then go check this out at the movies. While I value your opinion greatly, and generally agree with you on most things Vic…I think I’m going to have to go check it out anyways. Who knows, maybe now that I expect it to be a steaming pile, I might be able to overlook how terrible it is?
Hirogen,
Who knows? Maybe you won’t mind it. Maybe you can look at it like a really bad B-movie and laugh at it. From what I’ve been reading it seems SOME people like it… although I certainly don’t understand how.
Vic
Vic,
this is my first time reading one of your reviews. And i cannot agree more.
This movie did suck. Really bad. I mean the whole Predator thing. There was 2 predators throughout the whole movie and one died. apparently, this “hero” predator wanted to take a Predator/Alien [alien] and the rest ofthe aliens all to himself. And never called for backup? wtf?
this movie was terrible. There was waayyyy to many human contact. I was expecting a WW3 between Alien And Predator. That wasnt it at all. Dont be deceived. Though the effects were more than awsome. I wonder to myself. Has the Directors seen the Predator and Alien movies? They obviously had no idea what kind of expectations they were required to live up to. Sad day.
I liked it. Maybe I’m just a fool. I enjoyed it as a fan of pred/alien films. I thought it was better than that poor excuse of a first.
Hirogen don’t waste your time and money.
Jazi. Welcome to the Rant!!!!
^
Vic your review was dead on. The film sickend me in ways that made the first film film look like a Oscar winner.
^
Especally the hospital scenes. Very vile indeed.
^
I would expect a alien/Predator would have been more keen to the hunt then to just reproduce itself in a hurry out of survival.
^
They missed that point and also it seemed like the whole film was a
complete bad lift of all the past films…
We have the acid-blood scene, the stupid army scene, the aliens getting killed and there screeming scenes, the swiming alien,the cool optics of the pred headgear (same ol same ol),the aliens face thru a hosptial blind right up to the face of a human female like so many other past ideas this film has no originality at all.
^
Who ever wrote, produced, edited, and greenlit this script sould be fired.
^
I feel bad for the actress that was in 24 being attached to this…..:(
and another thing.
the catch line of the movie is “this christmas there will be no peace on earth”
are you kidding me?
All this “action” that happens is based in a little POS town in Colorado.
Which promplty gets … well never mind.
But the invasion does not go outside the state lines of colorado.
So the awsome artwork for the movie poster. Is highly decieving.
Haha thanks Steve.
Just wasted my money on it today!
I liked all the scenes with the Predator. The rest they can burn …
^
It reminded me of a bad version of “Planet Terror meets I know what you did last summer 3″.
^
Right with ya there Jazi, I spent 8.50 on a matinee screening.
^
I’ll admit the film had at least 8 minutes of great stuff.
So that’s a buck per minute say,, overall at least we can warn the others!!!!!!
When I walked out of the theatre I felt like a facehugger was sucking the other end of me… In a bad way…
Violated,
Jazi, welcome… I hope you stick around. I think the Requiem part had to do with the first 20 seconds of the movie with the dead Predator and that’s it. Great basis for the title of the movie, eh?
Hey Mike, different strokes for different folks, I suppose. I know there are other folks that like it… maybe if I was 16 again it might work for me.
But much like how I compare the many crappy adventure movies that stink to “Raiders of the Lost Ark” I compare these to the original “Alien” and “Predator” and they’re not even remotely close.
Best,
Vic
God, I was gonna go see this tomorrow, thanks Vic.
Sounds like they could have done something different and daring (not to mention more interesting) if they’d kept the action on board the Predator ship, doing a scenario-revisit of the original Alien movie, with Predators taking the place of humans.
A talented director could have pulled that off, I think. But it sounds like these brothers Strauss are too green for that task at best.
I always wonder how guys whose only experience is in visual effects get handed the wheels to not only one franchise, but a film that combines two well known and established franchises – letting them run it to it’s final resting place.
When time finally wears down the stain of this installation from memory, maybe if one of the original directors is still alive, they’ll do us the favor of a Batman-style reboot, and remind us what was so good about those franchises in the first place. (I’m hoping this happens for the Aliens franchise more than the Predator one – just my own personal bias showing).
0.5 out of 5! LOL! That’s bad. Really bad. I actually watched the first AVP on FX earlier tonight and was reminded of how horrible it was. The whole time I was thinking how the sequel should be way better, especially hearing how dedicated the new directors were to this project. I can say I trust your judgment and most of the other readers who have posted comments already. Thanks for the heads up.
Depressing…:( What a waste.
“I always wonder how guys whose only experience is in visual effects get handed the wheels to not only one franchise”
Tell me about it. Working on the set of a movie doesn’t qualify one to direct. Maybe we’ll see some “Grips” or “Best Boys” direct the next one.
Vic
As always, dead on!
Well, I was afraid that it would turn out this way. Why?
First of all: strong, greedy producers and week, willing directors never get a good movie together. A good story needs some creative freedom in the writing/filming department and the suits only see the $$$ and want as much idiots as audience as possible. Consequence? “No big ideas here, Strauss brothers just stay in the sandbox!”
Next we have the sequel problem. Whereas Paramount ruined Star Trek by repeating the same stories/themes over and over AND ignoring continuity (which pissed off even the strongest fans), the script writers of AVP 2 ignored any other good story previosly imagined by comics, novels, video games and fan fiction. Hell, yeah, it costs ROYALTIES if you adapt another one’s story for the big screen. So instead of purchasing the story – or even offer the guy the opportunity to write a script himself – they rather hire “Mr. Cheap” to concoct something. Because the whole franchise is based on a video game anyway, they think. Yep, and that’s exactly why this one has GAME OVER painted all over it!
In the end it’s all about power and control over at Fox. The suits wanted the film EXACTLY as dumb as it is now. No creative dude from UK or France to mess with the audience they think, but some eye candy for christmas that will milk the fancow a little more.
And the best thing: if the movie fails, they will release a “director’s cut” on dvd/BluRay – OR even better BLAME it on the filesharers! (Remember Eli Roth and HOSTEL 2? He really blamed the downloaders for the failure! You know, Eli, you and your movie stink. Plain and simple.)
My advice to the fans? Hope for some decent fan fiction in the future (Batman: Dead End and Star Trek New Voyages already go in that (right) direction).
ZAR.
LOL,Vic! Steve Adams sent me his review,he said basically the same thing. I’ll wait for the DVD release of this one…………maybe.
Not to be combative, ZAR, but it doesn’t make any sense to expect profressional (albeit crappy) writers and directors to use fan fiction as a basis for their work. If Hollywood types ever used such material as a basis for, say, a screenplay, they would be sued and stripped of every cent they own.
I agree with Zar on Eli roths “work” his work is crap and I think the same for him…:)
Anyway…..
Zcole, producers rip off fan material as much as they can.
The fan/writer/creator only stands a chance of winning anything if the project is successfull.
I think what Zar and a few others are talking about is that there’s so much BETTER material out there to make into a good story, yet these “filmakers” mostly choose the crap scripts.
Fox owns both these characters, they don’t intentionally make films targeted to stupid film goers. They unintentionally place these films in the hands of stupid producers.
^
Fox picked the wrong team, plain and simple, even the credits looked like they were done by a 15 year old.
^
This script was picked prob over 15 other ideas, but these idiots said “hey that’s a good way to go”, they blew it. They are prob being fired as we speak.
^
Aliens Vs Predator wasn’t based on a video game, it was based on a Comic book series produced by I want to say “Dark Horse” but check that*
Ever since the comic came out Fox has tried to bring these 2 icons of Sci-fi together….
It took a few years to secure all the rights. (Years)..!
^
The first AvP film I thought was good, I know everyone seems to hate it but I liked the way the Predator worked alongside the human toward the end because she could kick ass and the Predator respected her. That kind of storyline was more inline with the comic version.
^
In the Comic story the Predators (on occasion) did team up with Humans to eradicate the aliens.
This is somewhat the direction this franchise should be headed but this latest blunder turns the frachise into a cheap sh*#y half-ass horror mess that’s unforgivable….:(
^
The Producers of this “mess” complety set this franchise back years if not permanantly.
Piss’es. me off because this could have been a great
franchise now its been destroyed.
^
I stayed all the way to the end waiting for just a little redemtion and all I got was the same old ending. You know the one. And like Vic noted by then you didn’t give a crap if the whole town was gone because the characters were meaningless.
^
KEL don’t even bother renting this thing its such a poc.
Man I’m so ready for some quality sci-fi !!!!!!!!!!!
I guess it time to watch my BG Razor dvd. Hmmm
while i havnt yet seen this film. i feel people should stop hoping these fims will be the next “aliens” or “predator2 films. those films were classic and will most probably not be bettered by any modern day version.
they should be taken as eye candy and/or a no thrills switch of your brain gorefest. most people who savage these films. are not fans of the genre / charecters and so dont trully understand what the true essence of avp is. sure the storys crap. the acting is ham. so what. we want to see two of our fave movie beasties scrapping on screen. thats it.
i read one review even question how the pred alien came about and said that ” it wasnt properly explained” helloooooooooooo have you seen the first movie you retard.
im so annoyed at snooty reviewers with their long fancy words which describe films they would never see in the first place. i thought reviewrs were meant to be impartial and unbiased. yet every review i read is tainted with the words of someone who clearly has no interest or love for the genre. take a work of advice.
Nando,
First of all: I do not allow profanity on this site. You should be able to express your opinion without a rude use of the F-bomb (you’re actually lucky I didn’t delete your comment due to your closing two words).
To address the main points of your comments:
“while i havnt yet seen this film.”
Well. That invalidates all your arguments right there. If you haven’t seen it you have no basis for slamming anyone’s review.
“i feel people should stop hoping these fims will be the next ‘aliens’ or ‘predator2′ films. those films were classic and will most probably not be bettered by any modern day version.”
Exactly right. So if they can’t at least match the quality of those it’s a blatant attempt to rip us off for our money by sucking us into the theater based on the quality of THOSE movies.
“they should be taken as eye candy and/or a no thrills switch of your brain gorefest.”
B.S. If they just want to do a “gorefest” or “eye candy”, then create something original instead.
“most people who savage these films. are not fans of the genre / charecters and so dont trully understand what the true essence of avp”
Again: B.S. I personally “savaged” this film precisely BECAUSE I am such a fan of the genre, characters and original films.
“im so annoyed at snooty reviewers with their long fancy words”
I do not consider myself a “snooty reviewer.” As a matter of fact I try to write reviews that the average person can use to decide whether or not to see a movie.
“every review i read is tainted with the words of someone who clearly has no interest or love for the genre.”
Again, I find it hysterical that you’ve posted that comment on THIS website. Have you even bothered to read Screen Rant??? Yeesh.
Vic
Just cuz someone uses long words doesn’t mean they’re snooty,it usually means they’re smart (duh!). You can’t bash someone for being “snooty” just cuz you can’t comprehend the words they use.
Uh oh. I have a feeling I just made a mistake of some sort…………….:-0
Yep KEL, I suggest taking cover in preparation for the retaliatory action that is no doubt coming your way. I still haven’t gone to see the movie myself…I mean, I know Vic is going to be right, and the film will be terrible…but I just can’t look away! So far I’m using the excuse that the Girlfriend has seen none of the original movies, or the first AVP movie yet…and yes, yes I know, it isn’t really necessary to see all that first but shoosh! It’s keeping me from seeing this
Hey nando, go see the film its awesome!!!
^
Wait in line even….its that good.
^
Hey KEL!
LOL,Hirogen!! You’re probably right……..;-)
I see ya,Steve!
Wow Hirogen, you have guts to take a girlfriend to this one.
^
Might want to check the surrounding theatres and see what time they come on so if you have to, you can walk out of Avp and sneak into another film midway thru.
^
I would expect that to be right around the scenes where the Pred-alien is killing a whole bunch of pregnant women.”Tastefully” of course, (gross pun intended).
wow. i’m only 16 and this movie seemes like the biggest piece of crapt i’ve ever seen. I’m going to be a film director someday and I know i can make a movie way better than this pile dung I paid $9 to see. The catch line was “there will be no peace on earth”, that had nothing to do with the film, the whole thing took place in that little hick ass town. Me and my friend have better scripts than this, i was actually kind of skeptical about our scripts at first but after seeing what felt like a knife in my eye, I feel that my scripts will be a masterpiece. The only good thing that came out of this movie is the confidence to make a movie that will either scare the crap out of people or blow them away.
Best to you Adrian!
^
I look forward to the young talent out there to someday save us from this “fun in the sun” garbage.
^
What's your opinion? Leave a Reply!
Go to Gravatar.com and upload your own (we'll wait)!