Rating:

0.5 out of 5
By Vic Holtreman
Short version: I didn’t think it was possible, but AVP-R is worse than the previous Aliens vs Predator movie.
Abandon all hope ye who enter a movie theater that is showing Aliens vs Predator: Requiem.
It’s that bad. I kid you not. As first time directors, “The Brothers Strauss” (as they are referred to in the credits) are great visual effects guys. Honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with ways to tell you just how depressingly awful this movie is, but I’ll do my best.
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Within minutes of the start of the film I was bored and my mind started to wander. It opens aboard a Predator ship, where a dead comrade is presumably being transported to the home world directly after the events of the last film. An Alien bursts forth from the dead Predator, shortly taking out the entire crew and crashing the ship on Earth.
Immediately I wondered just how this could happen so easily. In the last film the premise was that Predators had been using Antarctica as the location for a rite of passage or training ground for Predators. For many years (was it centuries?) the Predator race had been doing this very thing.
So how is it that they could be so oblivious to the possibility that a dead comrade might be home to a gestating Alien? How is it that one Alien was able to take down the crew of a Predator ship (these guys ARE hunters, right?) so easily?
Once the ship crashes one of the mortally injured Predators manages to send a distress call which is pi,cked up by an elder on their home world. It was marginally cool to get a glimpse of their world, but that’s about it. He heads out for destination Earth.
Once the story cuts to the residents of the small town it gets even worse. We meet a variety of characters whose lives will clumsily come together as the movie progresses. We have an inexperienced (and inept) sheriff, the rebel/criminal brother of a local teen who comes back to town, that teen lusting after the local hottie who is dating a jerk/bully.
We also have Reiko Aylesworth as Kelly: a mom returning home after some unspecified amount of time to an estranged little girl and stay at home dad. The whole role reversal thing here creeped me out a bit for some reason.
She is probably the only person in the entire film who demonstrated any acting ability above what you might see in a high school play. We don’t really care about what happens to any of the characters despite the weak attempts at trying to connect the audience with them.
Oh, who cares about the acting, right? You want to see this for the action. Well I’m sorry to report that 90% of the time the scenes were shot in such a way that between the low lighting, rain, extreme close ups and quick cuts you can’t even tell what the hell is going on. Nor do you care much, as the whole thing seems assembled with less reason for being than a video game plot.
Then there were the really vile bits, like Aliens invading a hospital and finding easy hosts for their “little ones.” Beyond the idea of using the sick and helpless for this were a couple of scenes in the maternity ward where a woman who is going into labor is attacked by an Alien and has eggs deposited inside her in a repulsive manner (no, not THAT, but it was still disgusting).
Seriously, if I wasn’t going to review this I was so bored and disinterested I would have walked out 20 minutes in. It seems that my initial reactions to AVP-R turned out to be right after all. Of late I had been getting cautiously optimistic that there might be some chance that this would actually redeem the first, but it’s actually worse.
While I gave the first on only 1.5 stars, at least it got to be a bit of fun in the second half, but this one is almost completely without any value. There were a couple of very brief moments that were cool between the Pred-Alien and the Predator, but I’d count those at no more than maybe two or three eye-blink moments, tops.
I know the Strauss brothers are big fans of both franchises and had good intentions, but Aliens vs Predator: Requiem proves that being a big movie fan does not necessarily mean that you can make a good movie.
Folks, seriously, don’t bother. This thing is going to tank hard at the box office and if you see it anyway don’t come crying to me because YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I can only hope this will sound the death knell for this sci fi movie franchise merger.
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92 Comments
I have to say i liked this movie. i wont say it lived up to Aliens or Predator. I will say it kicked aliens 3 and 4 by far since someone went and destroyed and wrecked great movies. Anyway the movie didnt have the greatest acting and i think they went way to far into thier own personal lives. anyway with some of the things your saying if you buy or rent this movie and watch a few of the special features youll see some of the things they were getting at with the movie. and incase your wondering the original script they had, had the predalien ded on page like five (it died in the crash). So the movie could have been worse. anyway they were trying to bring back that creepy vibe from the original aliens. One thing that bugged me is how people keep saying is how they’re got to be so many aliens so fast. 1.they’re are a few facehuggers to start it off and 2.the predalien if you look puts like five eggs in each person. If you ever watch a few of the special features though you can actually see the whole predalien. The thing i thought was the very dummest thing about the movie is how they made the predalien just blindly be on the alien side having some predator you think it would have some individuality in it. I thought they may even bring in a fourth race (kinda) to the franchise. In some areas i could have written better parts for the movie but in some they went perfectly along like they should. so id give it probably a 6 or 7 outta ten.
Dosnt matter how many eggs, the jestation to maturation rate was the fastest in any of the previous films.
Jestation to maturation used to take days. Not 30min.
At times I was reminded of Benny Hill.
(Everyone running in fast forward with that stupid circus song playing in the backgorund).
I just watched this movie and I have to utterly and totally disagree with you because obvously you are either an alien/predator film nazi OR your jus jumping on the hate the film “bandwagon” simply out the second film was such an vastly better film than the first…minus the issue of “jestation to maturation rate” which i agree with.
I am continually amazed at the fact that when someone has a different opinion than someone else it automatically makes them a “nazi,” and “idiot” or some other wonderful name, becuase only THEIR opinion can POSSIBLY be valid.
I’m really quite sick of that attitude.
Vic
First: Godwin’s Law is now in effect.
Second: Sorry Vic, but opinions can be a dangerous thing. It’s great that you have your own views, but if you don’t want to be attacked by fans, idiots, and those that just love to start an argument don’t post you views on the internet. And if you still feel a need to let the world know that you think somethings bad than prepared to be fired upon.
I am really quite sick of the attitude were people assume that their opinions are allowed to be unjustly judged by others just because its THEIR opinion.
Get over yourself.
“I am really quite sick of the attitude were[sic] people assume that their opinions are [not] allowed to be unjustly judged by others just because its THEIR opinion.”
Although you mis-typed something in your statement, I found myself agreeing with you until you had to go and blow it with this:
“Get over yourself.”
Get over MYSELF? You obviously missed my point, which is while I express my point of view in a logical, intelligent manner, most (not all) of those who disagree regarding this film have arguments that amount to “You suck! This movie rocked you idiot!”
Why don’t you tell those immature and rude idiots to get over THEMSELVES, eh?
Best regards and perhaps you should get over yourself as well.
Vic
Vic..care for round two on the helping those less fortunate….
Just being Cheeky Vic..there is no need to be rude to anyone because of their opinion not agreeing with what you believe..you can say anything you want if you find the right words instead of just sending insulting barbs at those you disagree with…when I say you, I don’t mean “you”specifically. I am talking about opinions in general…
Cheers
Vic
Next time you decide to correct someone on their grammar you should check your own first. And you obviously can not tell an idiot to “get over themselves.” They obviously wouldn’t understand the complexity of so many words.
On the note of what this is actually about, I liked this movie well enough. Considering what passes for quality entertainment these days I’ve seen worse, much, much worse
I miss the good old days when movies were actually good even without all the special effects.
Great now I feel old.
Hey, guess what? This is my site - I can do whatever the heck I want, and considering the tone of this thread I haven’t exactly felt the desire to hold back, m’kay?
I’m about ready to lock this sucker down because honestly, I’ve pretty much had it.
Vic
If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size.
No, a small thing does not. However the abuse in this thread has been cumulative and patience has worn thin.
Vic
Both the AVP movies were good. Everyone knows the Predator would win hands down.
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