WARNING – SPOILERS Ahead!
Orange is the New Black season 3 kicks off a new direction for the series. Now, it’s not so much the seasonal stories which matter; it’ll be the overall journey, when the show finally comes to an end, where you’ll find the most enjoy experience. However, even the best show has some weaker moments – especially this season.
From Bennett’s “early departure” to Norma’s rise to Grace, there are more than enough moments which will make your wait until next season all that more painful. After all, if they had time for these storylines, they could have at least strung together a few which actually paid off. Cliffhangers are fun and all, but so feeling the relief of watching a well-crafted story-arc come to end.
10) “Praise Norma”
“Tounge-tied” Norma may have a terrific backstory (with a shocking twist), but when it comes to creating religious figures inside Litchfield, it’s best to keep it quick and simple. Instead, we’re treated to an extremely long story-arc that ultimately goes nowhere – so much so that even Red is confused about what’s going on. And then there’s the toast. And then the “Freedom Lake”.
9) “Bennett & Baby”
So “that” happened – whatever it is you want to call it. Everyone’s favorite budding couple at Litchfield was just put on hold, for some reason. In the first two episodes, Bennett and Diaz appear to be the focus for the majority of the time, with one of the more direct storylines of the bunch. Then, for some reason, Bennett goes “Holla Back Girl” – which itself wasn’t bad – and then decides to visit “the family”. As much as anyone wants to use Bennett’s Army flashback as foreshadowing for “this situation”, it’s difficult to deny the fact that this story, baby and all, falls flat.
8) “Lorna’s Day”
The first “shocking” story of the series came when it was revealed Lorna’s relationship with Christopher was actually a stalker’s tale, and since then she’s largely remained in the background. Unfortunately, she largely remains in the background this season – though she finally does find love – except it’s through a series of scenes where she’s sitting at a table, acting like a stalker. That’s it, sadly.
7) “SHUfly Nicky”
Actress Natasha Leone is terrific in everything that she’s in – which was Orange is the New Black before her character was put “on hold” for most of the season. Even the fellow inmates mourned her loss for more episodes than Natasha Leone was in! What’s worse: we return to Nicky’s “new home” later on in the season, except we don’t even get a peek at our favorite manipulator. Maybe Nicky will return; maybe not – the problem: viewers don’t know.
6) “E.L. Crazy-Eyes, Auteur”
Crazy Eyes finally finds a way to focus her explicit imagination in way not too dissimilar to E.L. James and 50 Shades of Grey. Even though some hilarious moments come from her erotic time-traveling adventures making its way around Litchfield, the reference is a bit too “on the nose” to fit within a show that’s so original. Still, the Admiral makes up for it.
NEXT PAGE: Alex & Turtle Love
5) “Crazy Turtle Love”
Crazy-Eyes is one of the most entertaining character of the series, and her affinity for Vee is absolutely endearing. However, at no point in watching the show have you ever wanted to see an oddball relationship form by “playing fetch” with a live animal, between her and her would-be lover. It would be better if they simply spoke to each other. Or looked at each other some more – just not playing fetch with a turtle.
4) “Judy (not Martha) King (not Stewart)”
Like the 50 Shades reference, this familiar character feels like too much of an easy addition to a series based on a women’s prison. A rich and famous businesswoman who ends up going to jail – only it doesn’t happen this season. Maybe Orange is the New Black season 4 will prove just how much of a terrific addition that Judy Stewart will be – until then she’s simply filler. We all knew that had to do it; perhaps they should have simply wait until they could execute it.
3) ”Big Red Freshness”
Red is still one of the strongest character in the series – when she’s actually used. This season, Healy and Red are paired up as a potential romantic couple, which is completely believable. What’s not believable, however, is that she’s not involved in things more interesting than a non-existent relationship between two people already married (and whose partners are now trying their hardest to make things work). Is it a match made behind bars? We’ll find out.. next season.
2) “Freedom Lake”
After an entire season about faith, having the show end with everyone proverbially cleansing themselves is wonderfully poetic, and that’s it. Audiences you burned through season a bit quick than others may need to have faith that it to ultimately pay off in the end. When everyone from Litchfield is splashing away – sometimes in slow motion – it’s difficult not to sit there and wonder… What About Alex? No, seriously: What About Alex?
1) “What About Alex?”
Out of the very few story-arcs in Orange is the New Black season 3, Alex’s story is perhaps the most important… until you watch the season finale. After 13 episodes of trying to figure out who within Litchfield is trying to kill Piper’s beau, you’re left with a reveal that doesn’t reveal much of anything, at all. Everyone loves a good cliffhanger. The problem: there’s 15 minutes of women splashing around after the scene. Again, maybe next season.
What were some of your least favorite moments in Orange is the New Black season 3?
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