Movies & TV Shows Geeks Pretend Don’t Exist

Published 4 years ago by , Updated March 3rd, 2014 at 6:28 am,

movies tv shows geeks deny Movies & TV Shows Geeks Pretend Dont Exist

Working in the TV/Movie blog business, there’s one undeniable law you come to accept: Geeks are an obsessive bunch. No matter our own individual degrees of geekdom, at a certain point we’ve all stopped to  stare at that other person who was WAY too into something – be it Star Trek or Star Wars or even that sports fanatic whose blood pressure is one scoreboard point away from going critical.

We all know about geek obsession – but what about geek denial? It’s not a topic you hear brought up very often, but geeks have powers of denial just as strong as their obsessive tendencies. And to prove this fact, we here at Screen Rant are prepared to delve into the deep, dark, realm of “Movies and TV Shows That Geeks Pretend Don’t Exist.”

Before we get into this, I must warn you: We are about to venture into some very dark and traumatic territory. Some of you reading may have spent years working to close the very mental doors we are about to throw open again. To paraphrase the wise words of Nietzsche, “When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.”

Are you brave of heart? Still with us? Then revel in the memory of movies and TV shows so blasphemous to the geek community that they now make even the most devout nerds turn their heads away in shame.

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The Original Battlestar Galactica

BSG original series Movies & TV Shows Geeks Pretend Dont Exist

Many of you are lucky. You exist in a time and place where you only know of Ronald D. Moore’s reboot of the Battlestar Galactica TV series. Moore’s epic sci-fi/drama  explored virtually every aspect of human existence – from love, destiny and faith to politics, war and technology. It was some of the best allegorical storytelling TV has ever offered.

You’re lucky if you never looked back – never opened that closed (and firmly locked) door to the past to see how the original Battlestar Galactica differed from its modern incarnation. But many of us have opened that door, my friend – many of us have looked backed. Some of us even lived it as it happened (The horror! The horror!).

The 1978 Battlestar Galactica TV series only lasted a year. It tried to resurrect itself in 1980 as – get this – Galactica 1980, but that show only lasted half a year. Show creator Glen A. Larson might have been nominated for several major awards (Emmy, People’s Choice, Golden Globes), but that just goes to show how poorly some of these awards stand the test of time. Because looking back at the original Battlestar today… well, let’s just say that some things need to be remade.

In the original Battlestar Starbuck is an annoying guy (not girl) played by Dirk Benedict (right side, pic above); the Cylons look like actors in cheap homemade costumes; the plots, dialogue and acting are like a poor man’s Star Trek (and that’s saying something); and both of the original Battlestar series culminate with Starbuck co-fathering a “spiritual child” with some robotic Cylon…or something…

Let’s just be glad for the revamped series that Moore gave us and move right along, shall we? No need to look back at the series’ sordid past any longer.

The X-Files Spin-off

During the 90s, when I was still too young for the standard teen debauchery, every Friday night I would go to my local arcade for some serious gaming, and then I watched  The X-Files with my best friend in a darkened house, with a buffet of Twizzlers, assorted flavored popcorns and root beer to feast on. My Friday nights have never been so geeky, so fright-filled – or so much fun.

I was in college in 2001 when the post-X-Files spin-off, The Lone Gunmen, hit the airwaves. The show featured John Byers (Bruce Harwood), Melvin Frohike (Tom Braidwood), and Richard Langly (Dean Haglund), reprising their roles as the three conspiracy theory oddballs that Fox Mulder (David Duchovy) had visited on more than one X-Files occasion for help “finding the truth.”

The X-Files was interesting, scary, cool, smart, and sexy. The Lone Gunmen (to give a modern day analogy) was like Chuck-meets-Bones, sans the attractive people in the lead roles or any kind of romantic chemistry (that you’d want to see). The show only lasted one season (about four months to be exact), and once it was dead and buried deep, we all but forgot that it ever existed in the first place (I had to ask the Screen Rant team which X-Files spin-off it was they were referring to!)

But The Lone Gunmen did exist, my friends – though it will forever be a “search for the truth” to find out why.

Continue to shameful geek movie sequels…

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TAGS: batman, battlestar galactica, captain america, daredevil, fantastic four, gi joe, highlander, Indiana Jones, justice league, masters of the universe, silver surfer, spider-man, star trek, star wars, superman, teenage mutant ninja turtles, the flash, the incredible hulk, the punisher, thor, thundercats, transformers, voltron, x-files

142 Comments

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  1. You forgot about the Highlander cartoon show from the mid 90s

  2. Dont forget the Star Wars Christmas Special

    • You missed the ‘League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’.

      Although, I don’t blame you for erasing it from your mind! I have tried…

    • You remember that……….WTH!!!! Ugh…..

  3. Wasn’t there a Droids cartoon on around the same time as the Ewoks? I also seem to remember a He-Man/She-Ra movie crossover. What was the name of that thing you were supposed to find in every episode of She-Ra? Good list. Very thought-provoking-yet-shudder inspiring. Thanx

    • yes…

  4. I do not agree with you.
    Star Wars 1, 2, 3 was not that bad.
    There are problems but I do not think you can say they sucked as you said.

    Same for Superman 3 and 4, they have a different style than the first two but they are not necessarily bad. I enjoy watching them even now, especially the three that makes me laugh a lot.

    I do not like this kind of article that tries to dictate our way of loving or not films based on the opinion of ONE PERSON.

    • The Star Wars prequel’s may not have been that bad, but I’ll be okay never to see them again whereas the orginal three I could watch over and over.

      And YES! Superman III and IV were that bad. There were horrible and in fact I could not remember their plots until this article reminded me (shudder). I will now have to scrub my brain so I can forget them and return to a world where the original franchise only included the first two films.

    • IV made me kick my dog…

    • What about Superman Returns? A lot of web owners defend it, but the comments destroy it. It was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

  5. well it certainly managed to inspire the appropriate amount of debate….

    BSG was cutting edge for its time and it looks dated for a reason, the advances in the field of special effects have far outstripped advances in acting and casting and plot writing. The times have changed as well, how many dark tortuous dramas existing in the late 70′s early 80′s? It’s a change in the times itself (thanks to HBO) that allowed a more adult BSG reboot to survive, nothing for geeks to disavow here imho

    The Lone Gunmen was good telly I thought (Perhaps i’m in the minority, if so, so be it), I actually enjoyed the series. Fox did it’s usual crack marketing campaign of yanking the series around once it was greenlit. It was done so that they could still have Chris Carter working for them while they were busy renegotiating with Duchovney and Anderson atm to still have edgy thought provoking stuff on the telly. Call it FOX’s back-up plan in case X-Files fell apart but I liked the stuff and always thought the boys never got the support they needed to thrive.

    All the transformers stuff was simply japanese anime mecha translated for US audiences, so it was based on a cartoon and was a cartoon, not like it was given primetime billing like Family Guy.

    If we’re going to be discussing embarassment and geeks where in the hell are the Knight Rider references?

  6. wow, i can honestly say i disagree with nearly all of your points.

    Your rant reads like you rented all of these like last week and decided they all suck compared to whats being done today.

    ewok movie? awesome, cause i was four when it came out.

    episode 1: without jar jar and midichlorians and with more screentime for darth maul it would have been a success, but was still okay.

    clone wars: a long drawn out affair around a boba-fett and the rise of the military behind the empire, felt like it didn’t add anything. but still okay.

    revenge of the sith: a good movie that tied the ends up neatly.

    I really hope lucas decides to advance the story with a new trilogy (or even high-budget series) starting with luke and mara jade getting married and founding the school, theres just so much potential awesomeness there.

    p.s thundercats are getting a movie soon, so , yeah..

    • Merely disagreeing with you will not cut it, I’m afraid.

  7. I must disagree on a Transformers example: Beast Wars rules.
    I concede the point to Beast Machines.

  8. I haven’t seen a lot of the stuff you have mentioned on this list to be honest, or at least not enough to really have a good opinion. Some of it I can agree on to some degree, but not all.

    I do disagree with the Transformers part though. Beast Wars was awesome, even if the CGI is bad when looked at today. I never saw much of the sequel honestly though nor a lot of the later stuff. But the recent Animated show was actually pretty good if you could get past the way everyone was drawn. The version of Megatron in that show was awesome (same with the Beast Wars version though for different reasons).

    Funny thing is that I’ve seen both the Ewok films though not since I was very young so my memory is fuzzy with regards to those.

  9. Have you actually ever watched Beast Wars in its entirety?

    It is not only one of the best kids shows ever made, but I dare say it has better writing, plots, character development and creativity than a lot of prime time shows that are on right. It is MUCH better than the original Transformers cartoon (as much as I love it let’s face it, besides the movie it was the same story every episode).

    I had never heard of Beast machines before last year, but being a MASSIVE beast wars fan I bought it anyway.. the first 6 or so episodes are pretty abysmal. But once you get to the part where rhinox comes into it, again its got great writing.
    Please don’t take SR word for it, go out and buy Beast wars seasons 1-3. You will thank me

    At the rest of the list, couldn’t agree more. Thank god I wasn’t alive for most of it. 2010 what a time to be a geek :D

  10. Good list. I’m just glad they never ruined The Matrix with any sequels.

    • LOL! Talk about a glaring omission. I guess they were SO bad that Kofi COMPLETELY blocked them out.

  11. Best comment on this article David. personally I hated the first matrix and find it highly overrated but my god those sequals were really awful it was bad enough that I thought the first was garbage but to have a friend drag me to the sequals that made the first look like a masterpiece was hell.

  12. The Transformers section is kinda off the mark. The majority of Transformers fandom loves Beast Wars and Animated.

    • I too loved Beast Wars, don’t get me wrong. I had to include it in order to detail the history of transformers spin-offs. Hard to explain Beast Machines without referring to Beast Wars first.

      THAT’S IT! I’m adding an update!

      • Kofi

        have you actually watched beast machines all the way through?
        when I first bought it I watched the first disc and was appalled and shelved the next 3 discs where I hope nobody would ever find them

        but then a year later during my final genetic exam study procrastination took hold and I put the second disc in, it isnt all that bad, particularly the storu involving rhinox is great writing and edge of your seat stuff…. but i admit it does get pretty crap again after that :(

        But yes an update is needed Beast Wars is a great show, well written…better than both the nbc and fox 2010 line ups ;)

  13. You may not know this, but there was actually *another* Highlander movie called Highlander: The Source. It was originally going to be part one of a trilogy and they seemed to think they had a real movie going, but it ended up being so bad that it wasn’t even direct-to-dvd, it was released as a Sci-Fi TV movie. It is quite literally the worst movie I have ever seen, even though it had the TV characters in it, and the TV show was actually decent.

    • I completely agree. I love the Highlander franchise even the kiddy cartoon version and the spin off from the TV series, The Raven. However, The Source was painful to watch, especially because I loved what had come before… not a very dignified end to such a popular franchise.
      Additionally, there is a remake in the works and there was a video game in the works but it seems to have been put on hold for the time being.

  14. Thunderbirds, oh god the horror!

  15. What about the live action Superman the musical play, I think it was on ABC in the early 70′s. How about the live action Justice Leage of America musical for the late 70′s on, I think that one was on NBC. Don’t forget to forget those two too.

  16. i liked the prequels better

    • *drops dead of coronary*

  17. I actually didn’t think the pre-trilogy (star wars) sucked, though they clearly had flaws. I liked the third one the most, the first was the worst.

    I also can’t agree with the idea that star trek insurrection and Nemesis are to be erased from memory. I actually think insurrection is good, and have always found Nemesis to properly entertaining at the least.

    • Watch the Red Letter Media documentaries on both of those… you will change your mind.

      • I watched them yesterday and laughed my ass off. I didn’t think they were that good in the first place, to many retarded plot holes.

  18. Wow, really? The Prequel trilogy? I mean, IT IS STAR WARS! That’s the stuff I grew up on, and i get stoked that kids today are still buying the toys and watching TCW animated series (that;s The Clone Wars, for those of you who aren’t nerdy enough to know Star Wars abbreviations). Keep in mind friend, that the original movie A New Hope, was made in 1977, there is an obvious difference in film style and technology, but give me a break. They don’t suck, they’re amazing, whether you like all of the characters or not, the story is epic.

    • You too I’m afraid…

  19. this article really depressed me.. Why did you have to go there?? lol I dont think Flash TV series was bad at all. For its time and for its budget being a television series it was pretty good. You should at least give it some credit… But those other shows omg,, damn I gotta wipe my memory again!!! :( ughhh..

  20. I didn’t think that ROTS was that bad.
    It was definitely the best of the prequels and there was no jar-jar.

    That being said, nothing beats the originals

    • Actually there was some Jar Jar at the end, but he never talked so it was all good. But i agree. ROTS was pretty kick @$$

  21. I thought it was great. Laughed my ass off the whole time at the cynical style of writing !! Loved it!

  22. “NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!”

  23. This is why I love screen rant- great writing and a pretty comprehensive list. I had forgetten many of these horrors and while I’m not sure I appreciate the reminder I think the good I can get out of it is remembering the great films that led me blindly into the horros of the sequels.

    Good list!

  24. Two words: Starship Troopers.

  25. Remember the Star Trek animated show? I wish I could erase that crap.

    • Actually be happy they didn’t go with a concept they seriously considered for animated Trek – kid sidekicks to pair up with each major character.

      Vic

    • Really wasn’t a total loss. Their were a few gems in the animated series.
      “Beyond the Farthest Star” introduced the idea of life support belts. “Yesteryear” was an attempt to enlarge Spock’s personal story. “The Slaver Weapon” was fairly original and was an homage to the Kzinti. A warlike cat species that was the subject of a SciFi novel series started out be Larry Nivan and Paul Anderson. The rest was pretty derivative of TOS episodes or were weak for a variety of reasons. Would’ve been a hit with better writing. Great potential wasted.

  26. I watch Episode III the other day just to confirm the lameness of it. Since when was Vader such a whiny brat? I thought he was supposed to be all menacing, evil, swayed by the powers of the dark side? Not some pent up Teenager who can’t get over his first girlfriend. Who wrote that crap? One of those emo punk bands that are like 25 and still write about high school?

    • “I thought he was supposed to be all menacing, evil, swayed by the powers of the dark side?”

      Swayed by the dark side? Yes
      Menacing and evil? NO

      That’s why George Lucas made the prequels. He wanted Darth Vader to be the victim in the whole thing.

      • Well who wants him to be the victim. The mystery was the thing that made him awesome IMHO. But it all perspective. But like I said he just comes off like a whiny brat to me…

        • But it’s all perspective, is what I meant…

  27. Another, crap-tacular series was “Birds of Prey” with the daughter of Cat Woman and Batman. Oh, I forgot Halley Berry’s Cat Woman….!
    Captain EO (although I did enjoy it back in the day), Dungeons and Dragons cartoon, and Water World,

    • WOW!!! Birds of Prey!!! How did I miss THAT???

  28. HOW could you miss this? True DEEP denial… The end all embarrassment of Star Wars was “The Star Wars Christmas Special” – made with the cast from the Carol Burnett Show. Yes, they have the actual Star Wars Actors along side Harvey Corman and the like. It’s so painful to watch it has a numbing effect. The Ewok Adventure shines like a work of art in comparison.

  29. Wow lol very good point catwoman aNd birds of prey were so bad I actually did try to forget them lol. I don’t honestly know which was worse those are right up there with the Stell movie with shaq

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