Working in the TV/Movie blog business, there’s one undeniable law you come to accept: Geeks are an obsessive bunch. No matter our own individual degrees of geekdom, at a certain point we’ve all stopped to  stare at that other person who was WAY too into something – be it Star Trek or Star Wars or even that sports fanatic whose blood pressure is one scoreboard point away from going critical.

We all know about geek obsession – but what about geek denial? It’s not a topic you hear brought up very often, but geeks have powers of denial just as strong as their obsessive tendencies. And to prove this fact, we here at Screen Rant are prepared to delve into the deep, dark, realm of “Movies and TV Shows That Geeks Pretend Don’t Exist.”

Before we get into this, I must warn you: We are about to venture into some very dark and traumatic territory. Some of you reading may have spent years working to close the very mental doors we are about to throw open again. To paraphrase the wise words of Nietzsche, “When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.”

Are you brave of heart? Still with us? Then revel in the memory of movies and TV shows so blasphemous to the geek community that they now make even the most devout nerds turn their heads away in shame.

The Original Battlestar Galactica

Many of you are lucky. You exist in a time and place where you only know of Ronald D. Moore’s reboot of the Battlestar Galactica TV series. Moore’s epic sci-fi/drama  explored virtually every aspect of human existence – from love, destiny and faith to politics, war and technology. It was some of the best allegorical storytelling TV has ever offered.

You’re lucky if you never looked back – never opened that closed (and firmly locked) door to the past to see how the original Battlestar Galactica differed from its modern incarnation. But many of us have opened that door, my friend – many of us have looked backed. Some of us even lived it as it happened (The horror! The horror!).

The 1978 Battlestar Galactica TV series only lasted a year. It tried to resurrect itself in 1980 as – get this – Galactica 1980, but that show only lasted half a year. Show creator Glen A. Larson might have been nominated for several major awards (Emmy, People’s Choice, Golden Globes), but that just goes to show how poorly some of these awards stand the test of time. Because looking back at the original Battlestar today… well, let’s just say that some things need to be remade.

In the original Battlestar Starbuck is an annoying guy (not girl) played by Dirk Benedict (right side, pic above); the Cylons look like actors in cheap homemade costumes; the plots, dialogue and acting are like a poor man’s Star Trek (and that’s saying something); and both of the original Battlestar series culminate with Starbuck co-fathering a “spiritual child” with some robotic Cylon…or something…

Let’s just be glad for the revamped series that Moore gave us and move right along, shall we? No need to look back at the series’ sordid past any longer.

The X-Files Spin-off

During the 90s, when I was still too young for the standard teen debauchery, every Friday night I would go to my local arcade for some serious gaming, and then I watched  The X-Files with my best friend in a darkened house, with a buffet of Twizzlers, assorted flavored popcorns and root beer to feast on. My Friday nights have never been so geeky, so fright-filled – or so much fun.

I was in college in 2001 when the post-X-Files spin-off, The Lone Gunmen, hit the airwaves. The show featured John Byers (Bruce Harwood), Melvin Frohike (Tom Braidwood), and Richard Langly (Dean Haglund), reprising their roles as the three conspiracy theory oddballs that Fox Mulder (David Duchovy) had visited on more than one X-Files occasion for help “finding the truth.”

The X-Files was interesting, scary, cool, smart, and sexy. The Lone Gunmen (to give a modern day analogy) was like Chuck-meets-Bones, sans the attractive people in the lead roles or any kind of romantic chemistry (that you’d want to see). The show only lasted one season (about four months to be exact), and once it was dead and buried deep, we all but forgot that it ever existed in the first place (I had to ask the Screen Rant team which X-Files spin-off it was they were referring to!)

But The Lone Gunmen did exist, my friends – though it will forever be a “search for the truth” to find out why.

Continue to shameful geek movie sequels…

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