After the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon came out in 1987, fans were rewarded in 1990 with an highly enjoyable Ninja Turtles live-action movie.

However, after that original cartoon and first live-action movie, the TMNT franchise quickly went downhill. A second live-action movie, Secret of the Ooze, came out in 1991 – it’s greatest highlight was a “ninja rap” cameo from Vanilla Ice (that should tell you something). A third live-action TMNT movie was released in 1993 and was all about time travel…yeah.

On the animated side of things, the live-action TMNT films spawned a 1997 live-action TV show, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation. Needless to say, it was less than spectacular. When that show failed to connect, the franchise made another attempt at new glory with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon reboot in 2003. Like many cartoons of the 2000s, it seemed tailor-fitted for the ADD generation, despite its pretty anime makeover. Still, the new series has been going strong for seven seasons now, so clearly today’s young geeks have embraced it.

In 2007 a CGI animated TMNT movie was released; it looked cool, but the sci-fi/magical-monster premise was pretty ridiculous. Fans did get a little break in 2009 with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles Forever, an animated TV movie which teamed the modern anime-flavored Turtles with their 1987 counterparts. However, it was a small victory in a pretty epic losing streak.

The original Voltron cartoon is the one most fans hold dear, but the property tried to make a comeback at the turn of the Millennium with the CGI animated Voltron: The Third Dimension. Don’t remember it? That’s ok, it’s not worth the brain cells.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was an 80s kid’s testosterone dream, though the live-action Masters of the Universe movie was not so great (but it did star the original Punisher, Dolph Lundgren and acclaimed actor Frank Langella). In the 90s the property tried to make a comeback with The New Adventures of He-Man, and when that didn’t work out, they tried again in 2002 with an “updated” version of Masters of The Universe.

Amazingly enough, Thundercats has no shameful secrets to reveal – the original 1985 cartoon stands untouched.

Video game fans, let us NEVER speak of the terrible Legend of Zelda and Super Mario Bros. Super Show! ’80s cartoons. Those two misfires spawned a sugary-delicious breakfast cereal, as well as that god-awful Super Mario Bros. movie – the very root of the video game movie curse we’re still suffering today….

Continue to Star Trek’s shameful secrets…

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