Website-Based Movies: Some (Not So) Absurd Suggestions

Published 5 years ago by , Updated July 17th, 2013 at 11:57 pm,


imdb poster Website Based Movies: Some (Not So) Absurd Suggestions

(Comedy) – Alvin Schroder is a struggling Los Angeles actor just trying to get his face seen and his name heard in a business where all it takes is one role to shoot you from obscurity into the limelight. Alvin is desperate for fame and fortune so that he can stop cleaning celebrity pools – and start swimming in them. One day, unbeknownst to Alvin, his well-intentioned but goofball friend Charlie logs onto IMDB (Internet Movie Database) and announces Alvin’s been cast in a number of career-making roles in major upcoming flicks – Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four, Dick Grayson in Batman 3, Johnny Quest, and Nightmare on Elm Street 2.

When the misunderstanding causes a studio to actually cast Alvin in a major role for which he never auditioned, his life is turned upside-down as he suddenly becomes the hottest thing in Hollywood. Studios start bidding wars, competing to sign him to their projects, and the paparazzi invade his private life. Alvin should be the happiest actor on earth but will all the unearned fame and fortune go to his head before the studios realize the mistake?


Adult Friend Finder

adult friend finder poster Website Based Movies: Some (Not So) Absurd Suggestions

(Romance/Comedy) – Martin Kaputski works a dead end job as a data entry specialist for a large financial institution. He’s never been very good at his work, sports, or at life in general, but a chance encounter with a beautiful woman and a handsome man in an elevator at his office uncovers a gift he never knew he had – the ability to help others find love. After word spreads around Marty’s office that he has an amazing gift for matchmaking, they nickname him the “Adult Friend Finder” and he starts charging for his services. Marty’s new business explodes when he expands online, leading millions of people to enlist his help in finding their next one night stand – or future spouse.

Now, Marty seemingly has everything in life but the one thing he is missing is a love of his own. With the encouragement of his mother (whom he still lives with), Marty uses his own service to try and locate a companion. After several failed attempts at love, Marty gives up, realizing that his gift only works on others. It’s then, while visiting friends at his old job, that he runs into the beautiful woman from the elevator – the woman who helped launch his empire – and sparks fly. Will Marty ever find a soul mate or is he destined to be a lonely matchmaker?


Texts From Last Night

text from last night poster Website Based Movies: Some (Not So) Absurd Suggestions

(Mystery/Thriller) – Alison Banetty is just like any other 22 year-old single girl living in New York City. She goes to art school during the day and works part time as a waitress in the afternoons, but at night she likes to drink and party with her club hopping friends. One Friday night she drinks too much, parties too hard and ends up going home with a guy she just met, against the pleadings of her friends. When she wakes up the next day, the guy is dead, she’s half-naked, covered in blood, and holding a butcher knife in her hands. What has happened? Did she kill this stranger? Is she a victim of a frame-up?

As all of these thoughts flood her mind at once, her cell phone buzzes – it’s a text message from one of her friends looking for her. Scrolling through her phone she sees hundreds of text messages… all from herself! Can she piece together what happened and how she ended up in this situation using nothing but Texts From Last Night before the police arrest her?


People of Walmart

people of walmart poster Website Based Movies: Some (Not So) Absurd Suggestions

(PBS Documentary) – Documentary filmmaker Ken Burns has given the world several award-winning documentary series, offering insight and history behind a number of topics including: Baseball, Jazz Music, and National Parks. This time, he grabs his camera and heads to the number one retail store in the world to showcase the People of Wal-Mart. Inner cities, suburban communities, the hills of West Virginia, the flat prairies of the Midwest, and the sun-kissed coasts of California are just some of the locations Burns takes his audience to give voice to the shoppers of Wal-Mart in order to let them share their stories – through the way they dress.

Families, old guys, celebrities and mulleted-highway truckers are just some of the people that can be found behind the doors of any Wal-Mart in the USA. Some people wear a little (when they should wear a lot); other people are obviously color-blind, but all of them are unique. Through his lens, Burns turns Wal-Mart into a veritable Disneyland filled with colorful characters.

The story continues when Burns takes his camera outside for an even more intimate look at the colorful characters of Wal-Mart – through the vehicles they drive. Begging the question: What do your wheels say about you?


I Can Has Cheezburger?

i can has cheezburger poster Website Based Movies: Some (Not So) Absurd Suggestions

(Sci-Fi/Action) – In the deepest parts of space, where light is barely perceivable, lives the alien race known as lolcats. A civilization of cat-like creatures whose evil is rivaled only by their cuteness and clumsiness, feasting only on cooked ground meat covered with cheese and bread. When food supplies run low on their planet, the lolcats travel millions of light-years to Earth, and find the planet overflowing with Cheeseburgers.

Now it’s up to one man, Dolph Lundgren, to bring together the people of the world to fight off the hoard of invading felines and keep the planet’s cheeseburgers from falling into the clutches of the lolcats as they march throughout the major cities of the world chanting I Can Has Cheezburger?


These are the websites that could be worth a hefty batch of gold in Hollywood. I’m sure I’ve completely missed the boat with one or another, and Hollywood will one-up me again – making a movie based on some piece of obscure HTML code or, quite possibly, something related to PayPal, Yahoo or CraigsList. Who knows at this point?

What website do you think will be the next up for the Hollywood studios?

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  1. Daniel, besides catering to the human debris, Wallmart plays a huge role in our economic downfall.
    By importing products from China, and then shipping them through Mexico.
    Hate to tell ya Ricky that Target is doing the same thing. ;-(

    • 790, theres a walmart just about every 5-10 miles from one another in san diego lol

  2. and ricky, move to China, there you might be considered a giant by their standards lol :)

    • Hahahahaah ok i will ;)*moves to china* ROFL

  3. Yeah Ant’s NAFTA is allowing China and Mexico to suck our
    Middle class dry.
    Please no more talk about how tall anybody is. I seriously think that’s a dialog reserved for 5 year olds.


    • well, i just ended it 790, mind you i had to be really reserved in my comments too. :)

  4. Ant’s,,,
    I’m done with my wallmart/nafta rant. Let’s not hijack this cool post by Paul,,,

    Cheers everyone!

    Let’s here some more ideas on lame internet related movies,,, Pauls deffinitly provided enough to build on,,, ;-)

    • well, i made a comment earier. and i was serious too..i wonder waht hollywood mogul is actually salvitating from this thread haha

  5. as for my personel favotite idea, the Ebay one, that’d be good B movie material

    • Haha. I was going to say the same. “Selling souls on Ebay?” lol. That ACTUALLY sounds like it could be pretty entertaining.

  6. Good point Ant’s.

    Funny halfway through reading this I noticed the films were highlighted as links. And I thought these were real films. Lol…

    Hats off to Paul. It took me about an hour to come up with “Screen Rage” so I can imagine how 10 hours is actually pretty fast for an article like this one.

    I have to say that this is one of the best parody articles I think I’ve read in a long time not just on Screen Rant but anywhere. :-)

    • its one of my favorites, youre Screen rage idea needs to be put on film…Ruffalo will have to wear platform shoes lol

  7. There all good ideas Ant’s. !!!!

    • yes indeed they are 790 :) i have a soft spot for the Horror Genre

  8. i think for the Ebay one i’d want Gabriel Byrne to play the devil in charge of Ebay, he was great in End Of Days.

  9. Lol Ant’s. I based Screen Rage on Die Hard…

    Really slow at work these days. 8-)

    • i just wachted DH2 today lol.

  10. havent been watching too much stuff lately, been feeling crappy for the past week, 3 migraines kinda kicks your butt, gotta catch up with the LEXX shows too

  11. Hey I worked on “End of Days”, Ant’s!

    They filmed parts of the NY subway in a huge storage pier down by the coast of San Pedro , LA harbor.
    Same location they filmed the Ny Subway scenes in Cloverfield. It was also used in Dexter season 4. (Trinity killers second kill)
    Dexter btw, is filmed in Hollywood and Long Beach, California. Not Florida.

    • that and Last Action Hero are my two top arnie films, LAH is a prime example of a hard PG-13 rating, and thats awesome that you worked on end of days, Byrne is such a cool actor, i’ll watch anything he is in.

  12. Yeah I liked Last Action Hero, too. Its Arnolds campiest film and that’s an achievement.

    My btch, is that unless you get LAH, on BR, the dvd copies are all in VHS quality Full screen.

    The film def, needs a dvd remastering.

    • i still dont have a BR, i have my old VHS copy haha. and my old Sony Super VHS player

  13. Lol, yeah as much as I loved the film, I’m not about to upgrade to Bluray for Last Action Hero. :-)

    • i wont do it because i have too many DVD’s, im not about to spend money on updating my library

  14. Oh! I came up with another one. This one could be a tween horror for all those Twilight fans called FORM SPRING!

    Maggie gets a message on her Form Spring that says she’ll die in a mysterious accident in the next 24 hours. So she goes on a mission to stop her death, unmask the person who wrote the comment, and find the perfect dress for prom!!

    • hmmm no more tween “horror” movies LOL

  15. 790

    Wow what other movies have u worked in man???

  16. Just like 3d is taking over,Blu ray will too guys…

  17. If someone has asked this I apologize but there are too many replies to manually check them all first and I know of now wayto do a search on all posts to a piece so I’m just gonna ask..

    Who is the hot Amazon chick on the AMAZON story Poster? Even though the movie idea is a joke that picture is of a real chick.

    • i believe if you go back and look her name was mentioned in the little article Blue :)

      • @anthony

        Yeah I missed that the first time. I just assumed all the names listed in each faux description would be for real actors and so I assumed ‘Maribel Barnes’ wasn’t the prson in the pic


        • glad to be of help my friend :)

  18. Rickster! Ask me on Open discussion tomorrow. :)

    Blue, she’s gotta be high maintance I wouldn’t go there,,, X-)

    • arent they all 790?

  19. Ok 790 i LOVE open discussions :D

  20. Lol, I’m not hooked up at the moment Ant’s. Not chained down I mean. 8-)

    • lol, dont get me wrong i love my gf.

      • *rolls eyes* We know u do man :)

  21. Well here’s another post from the skeptic.
    Money is becoming more and more of a religious institution than ever before and seems to be the only thing that matters in some cases. And who expresses that more than Hollywood. I am hoping though that “The Social Network”, and the other movies suggested here, give some insight and food for thought rather than just filling our bellies with popcorn and soda.
    The Internet is vital for us as we grow more numerous. It gives us the opportunity to express our opinions and feelings on issues that effect us in a lot of ways. We’re at a stage where it’s mostly “I think, you think” (Facebook, Twitter, blogs… and the awesome Screenrant! ;) ), which is just a beginning and should, and hopefuly will evolve into a “We think” attitude, where cooperation and understanding to better our welfare is the core element. Not just entertainment or self satisfaction.

    Sorry about the moral hubbub, but I just wanted get my point across. :)

  22. Anthony I don’t understand why some people think buying a Blu Ray some how means they need to update their entire film collection. There is zero need to update the movies you already own just buy films in Blu Ray in the future and you don’t even need to buy blu Ray for every film you buy. I only own about 10 BRays desire having a player for over 3 years. Own Bray player doesn’t mean you need to throw away your DVD player not to mention there are a ton of them out there that play DVD and Bray.

    • yeah but daniel, a lot of the action/adventure movies i have i’d wanna convert over, i’d say at least half the DVD’s i own fit into that catagory. and no i wouldnt throw any of my films aways, i heard that regular DVD’s look a little better when used in a BR player, though im not sure because i dont have one just yet, its just what i heard somewhere lol

        • ahh thanks paul, my apologies for hijacking the thread. great article. ive got some research to do i think. :)

  23. Anthony, do you have a surround sound setup and a HDef tv.
    You pretty much need those to enjoy Bluray.

    So if not, add a HD and surround system into that bluray setup.

    Personally I wouldn’t invest in Br its not doing well and Dvd will outlast it anyway.

  24. There dumbing down the dvd releases because Bluray is dying on the vine Ant’s.

    Personally I really never buy movies/tv shows for the behind the scenes stuff. When it comes to tv shows I don’t even watch the behind the scenes material until I’ve finished the entire series.

    Being in the biz I have to forget all that stuff going into a show. :+)

    • well, like i said 790, guys like you are the reason why i wach movies, you guys make it all happen :) amd i wanna continue this on the open thread later on

  25. To me Anthony that doesn’t make sense. If you don’t have to buy a BR player and your ok with having DVDs now why does buying a BR player suddenly require you to upgrade all the films you had before that were fine one day before you bought the player?

    Saying the DVDs look better on BR player is iffy it depends on what kind of TV you have what kind of connectors you use for the BR player and what type of DVD player you were playing on before. If you have a 1080P TV , you are gonna use HDMI connectors and your previous DVD player didn’t upscale DVDs to HD DVD quality than yes the DVD will look better on the BR player. For instance I used to have a DVD player that converted to HD DVD you know the format the got beat by Blu Ray. Also my PS3 allows for upscale In quality and is connected with HDMI. I will say regular DVDs look a little nicer on my PS3 than any DVD player I’ve seen but not by much. MY Blu Rays however put every DVD I have to shame. Oddly enough to of the best looking Blu Rays I’ve seen are Terminator Salvation and The New Star Trek. Both look amazing on BR. Sadly Iron Man on the other hand is better than DVD but not mind blowing. TDK was really great looking though especially the opening bank scene it’s damn beautiful on BR.

  26. Actually Blu Ray is doing just fine sales have been increasing and are now doing pretty well not to mention most places have started the slow phase out of DVD go to the local best buy. I was shocked when I recently went in what used to be all DVD has become half BR. Also if you look at the more recent sales numbers for the past 6 months BR is doing pretty damn well.

    I don’t agree with you about HD sound but I’ll say this you need an HD tv for sure. If you don’t have a HD flat panel don’t bother. Sound system isn’t necessary not if you only care about the picture.

  27. Anthony no need to upgrade the sound system If you don’t want. BR upgrades sound but it’s selling point is the picture. Personally I think sound systems are a waste of cash I still use TV speakers on my TV and it sounds just fine. My step dad got a state of the art system and I hate watching movies there it annoys me.

    Anyway I love Special features as well and I don’t buy Blu Ray for every movie I get only big budget actions films. Though sometimes I go with BR simply for the features because of the exclusives. The real kick in the nuts is films like Sherlock Holmes that have nothing but the movie.

  28. Honestly the BR picture quality doesn’t do anything for me.

    I’m happy with dvds and will be for a long time. I have no intention of ever investing in Bluray.

  29. These blockbuster ideas are going to rock the world. Ebay, Amazon, Digg etc. are cool. How about search engine movies?