Movie Theater Etiquette for the Modern Day Audience
Nov 4, 2009 by Paul YoungPeople don’t seem to have a clue about how to behave in a movie theater – fine, we’ll tell you how.
Scenario #2: You and your buddies, or budettes, all meet up at the local Cineplex, plop down your $10 for an 8 p.m. showing of the latest blockbuster, “Super Robots from Outer Space” and get a great seat midway up and close to the middle of the row. You didn’t bring any popcorn or candy, maybe just a drink (scratch that, no drink), the movie is two and half hours long and you don’t want to miss anything by getting up for a 45-second trip to the bathroom.
Just as the lights go down and the trailers start to play, you see two shadowy figures emerge from the side tunnel and they are pushing a large object. Oh man, it’s a stroller! There are empty seats to the left and right of you and you start thinking of a way to make it look like those seats are taken. You haven’t played the lotto in years because your luck is worse than that guy who’s been struck by lightning 7 times, so you just know they are going to sit next to you. Your fears are confirmed as they plop down in the seat right next to you. You take a brief glance at the stroller and don’t see any movement. Whew! Crisis adverted; the kid is asleep. Or is he?
Boom! The opening scene of the film blasts on the screen in full digital sound pumped out at 100 decibels. Now the slumbering rugrat is awake and he wants everyone to know it! You try to ignore the wailing and focus on the intense action on the screen but it’s like someone kicking your chair the entire time. That type of displeasure just can’t be ignored – at least not by everyone else in the theater (the parents have obviously learned the fine art of “parental ignoring” and are oblivious to the youngster’s cries for attention).
This is a scenario that is becoming far too familiar for movie audiences. If we were out watching a family-friendly film, like a Disney cartoon or talking dog flick, then we should fully expect to be overwhelmed with children talking, screaming or being generally loud. However, there is never a valid reason to bring a newborn baby into a rated-R movie, ever! Why do people think it’s appropriate to tote a child along to see Friday the 13th or Deep Blue Sea?
Most of the couples in a rated-R film – or any film for the matter – hired a sitter, forced their oldest offspring to watch the younger siblings or better yet, roped a family member into watching the youngster. When they finally do arrive at the movie they worked jumped so many hurdles to see, the last thing they want to hear is YOUR child scream throughout the entire first and second act of the film. And no, walking the baby into the side tunnel is not the appropriate response. The tunnel only serves to increase the volume of the cries exponentially by bouncing those infant sound waves (more like tsunami waves) around numerous times. In short, it makes the situation worse.
Parents of screaming babes: please just resign yourself to the fact that you shouldn’t have brought your child into the theater to begin with and take them out. A good rule to live by is, “If you have to carry your stroller up some stairs to find a seat, then you shouldn’t be in the theater.” Go home and rent a movie; you will enjoy the experience more, and everyone in theater will thank you for it.
Click to read about classic movie theater blabber-mouth syndrome…
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I hate hate hate when people sit next to me when there are plenty of available seats. When I saw Rush Hour 3, a group of about 15 ROTC military teens/college kids sat directly next to me. Split up. You all dont have to sit next to each other. Reassemble after the movie.
Another time, I saw The Dark Knight during opening weekend. I’m sitting 4 seats away from a dad and little junior that has running commentary and questions during the entire movie. Hey Dad? It’s ok to tell little junior to shush. No, really it is.
People with babies need to just get a dang babysitter. How hard is that?
I generally go during the very early morning when I’m either there by myself or sharing a theater with senior citizens.
When I went and saw the new Transformers movie, there was a man and his son who was probably about 5. Through the WHOLE movie the little boy was saying “it’s Bumblebee! it’s Bumblebee!” like everytime Bumblebee appeared on the screen. The first time, it was cute, by the 5th time it was annoying. And then towards the end of the movie in a really intense part where I was about start sobbing I was so into it, that little boy goes “is he dead Dad? Is he dead?” I felt like picking up my bag and hurling it at him!
Nowhere Man, I like your style!
For the few of you who mention how you sat in a theatre for an entire movie while some brat kicked your seat, or whoever that joker was whose friend took calls during the movie–you are more crazydriving to me than the idiots at the movies. I mean, you TOLERATE that crap. By doing so, you enable them.
No one has mentioned overpowering cologne or perfume. That’s something I really don’t want to deal with.
I went to see Frequency on my own. It came out in 2000, so cell phones were popular but not universal like they are now. Someeone received a call and actually *took it* rather than (what I would do) embarrassingly slink out to the side and talk outside the doors. But it was a dumb montage that had no audio, and I was not incredibly annoyed.
As the movie concludes, timelines and plotlines converge. It’s a rather complex culmination. But sometime near the beginning of the end sequence, this chick gets ANOTHER call. She takes it and stays in her seat, talking loudly-right?-to be heard over the movie. I was alone, so no moral support, but I turned and shouted, Hang up! I gave her about 10 seconds and I said it very loudly and insistently–it was no request, it was a command–HANG IT UP! She did, and I thought I got some non-verbal signs from others that they were grateful (sighs, murmurs). I felt incredible pride in myself for speaking up, but the adrenaline, my heartbeat, and the psychic energy it took to do that, consumed my mind for over a minute. By the time I settled down and really “heard” what was on the screen, the elements had come together and I could only know on superficial level, what had happened.
Other than that, I’ve not had too many bad experiences. I’ll have to remember the flashlight(s) trick!
@ Azza
Dude, get a job at Manchester’s AMC, you’ll have your work cut out. Bunch of ignorant teenagers go there who talk all the way through. Went to see fourth kind t’other week, people were talking and laughing, phones going off etc. Boiled my blood. If you want to talk go to a mates house, or your local street corner, or a playing field. Not in a Movie theatre. Went to see Ice Age 3D at the same theatre. People sat behind us talking at the beginning, you think they’ll shut up once the film starts rolling. Do they heck, they carry on, then they start pegging sweets and popcorn at people, (and me) sat in front of them. Talking on the phone, basically – not watching the film. Seems they like to pay a premium to deliberately sit in the theatre and annoy everyone. Why waste your money? Anyway, I go to the Odeon mostly, the extra 70 pence you pay usually scare most of the little scroats away and you generally have a hassle free screening. AND it has an IMAX – roll in Dec 16th, and Avatar. Bought my ticket yesterday, so stoked!
@Sylar, I hope you’ve watched that movie again later when you can really concentrate on it, it’s a great movie.
The worst experience ever was some guy laughs out really really loud when
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Rorschach was killed by Doctor Manhattan in Watchmen, he totally screwed up the shock.
The next worst thing would be someone constantly kicking the back of your couch
Last one would be complaining about how the last audience made a mess on the floor, seconds later your gf drops the whole pile of popcorn on your lap
I rarely ever go to opening shows, as I hate sitting right by someone I don’t know, but Terminator 4 was a movie my brother wanted to go to. We arrived early and happened to get great seats all together (5 of us). There was a reason why…an overweight native sat next to us and he had the worst body odor imaginable. Every time he reached for his popcorn a wave of stench drifted over us. There was even people complaining about the smell three rows back. It was the worst movie experience ever. I just wish I reported it and got my money back.
My pet peeve is when parents bring their kids but don’t sit with them. I went to Transformers and this little kid sat directly in front of me while his father sat at the front. The child was continuously moving and flailing his arms about, so I started to kick his seat. Each time he did it I kicked harder, and eventually the brat moved and sat with his dad.
Might have missed it, but couldn’t see that anyone has mentioned the UK’s ‘Mark Kermode/Simon Mayo Film Review’. Their weekly show/podcast, sometimes called ‘Wittertainment’ published a ‘Code of Conduct’ earlier this year raising many of the same points. Poster is here:
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Have to say I just listened to your podcast and felt such immense sympathy for you guys. This year alone I have also suffered from 127 Hours beng ruined by a first date couple 2 rows back talking and flirting endlessly, Tinker Tailer being ruined by a persistent rustling of carrier bags to reach massive bag of crisps that then proceed to be rustled for 15 minutes and X-Men First Class being ruined by mobile phones to the side of me endlessly lighting up as texts are noticed/responded to. SO annoying!