There is very little doubt in my mind that while reading the title of this article you’re either nodding in agreement or shaking your head in disgust, as you recall a repulsive memory about a cleanliness issue at your favorite multiplex.
Every person in the world who has ever frequented a movie theater – be it a small “mom and pop” theater or one of those super-mega-multi-screen complexes – has at one point viewed a film in a less-than-clean environment.
Sticky floors that feel like you’re walking on fly paper, smelly, musky air, gum on the armrest or bathrooms reminiscent of a Greyhound bus station – these are just some of the sanitation issues plaguing modern day moviegoers.
I know what you’re thinking (I’m psychic), “Paul, don’t be hard on theater chains. Not every theater is that way.”
To that I say, “Nope, you are wrong!” Most (if not every) theater in America, and most likely the world, has similar problems. As long as humans continue to watch films in theaters the problem will likely never be resolved – in fact, I think the problem may be getting worse.
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Bed Bugs
Image courtesy of FreakingNews.com
For example, take the recent story on CNN about an AMC movie theater in New York City that was shutdown and fumigated for bed bugs. Says CNN in its report:
“The AMC Empire 25 movie theater closed Tuesday night for extermination and reopened Wednesday.”
I know what you are thinking (I’m psychic remember?), “Paul, that is only one theater.” Again, you would be wrong. CNN goes on to report:
“The bloodsucking pests were found at another New York AMC location, the Magic Johnson Harlem 9, on July 30.”
That’s two major theater locations (which are owned by a major movie theater company) and the sanitation issues are so bad that the seats have bed bugs! I’m thinking that AMC should incorporate the same type of rule that hotels have for swimming in their pools – shower before entering. The infestations make me wonder: what else could be lurking in those seats?
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Lice
I found several instances, over the past few years, where news agencies found more horror on movie theater seats than they did on the screen. If there can be bed bugs on the armrests and seat pans, then why couldn’t there be lice on the headrests?
Answer: there CAN be lice on the headrests. I’ll let that sink in for a moment – as you start to feel your skin crawl.
While there hasn’t been a well-publicized report of someone getting lice from a movie theater seat in the past ten years, according to a report on lice by the North Dakota Department of Health:
Sharing coat hooks, lockers, car/bus/airplane and MOVIE THEATER SEATS also provides ideal situations for the transmission of head lice.
Maybe I’m overly-alarmed about Lice, considering there hasn’t been a major incident in quite a few years. I don’t want to be that “sky is falling” guy, but I may start bringing my own headrest cover to theaters from now on.
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Fecal Matter
Back in 2008, KLTV News in East Texas ran a special report on theater seats in their area, and the findings – while disturbing – where equally unsurprising. Everyone has probably watched a similar report, where an independent lab swabs several public areas to see what disgusting bacteria they can find.
What was the number one contaminant found in KLTV’s theater seat study? FECAL MATTER! That’s right, the movie you are watching isn’t the only crappy thing in your favorite theater. Microbiologist Dr. Richard Wallace, with UT Health Science Center, spoke to KLTV:
“You never know what’s hiding underneath or what’s hiding on top of those seats. What I expected was skin organisms, the typical type of staph species things and those were almost universal in all the samples. You expect that because of people laying their hands on the seats. What I didn’t expect were what we call stool organisms or fecal organisms.”
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I went and saw repo the genetic crapfest at the cheap $3 cinema and there were all these parasites and vermon walking in front of the screen…wait…no…those were people acting out the movie…
ANTHONY
Really? Lexx is free at hulu.com???
hahaha IM SEEING LEXX!
yes rick, start with series 1 from the first episode..its pretty interesting i’ll say that
Hulu.com is free right? They asked for me to create an account…..
yes, just create an account, its all free man, i dont pay anything
tp keep on topic here..the theaters i go to in san diego arent too bad, there was one that was horrid though, i couldnt believe the manager ran the theater that way, unkept restrooms, gum on the seats, piss on the seats..ok, gross i cant talk about it no longer
IDK im seeing it and im bored
dont tell 790 yet! LOL! the effects suck…..
“LEXX” isn’t about the effects. Since parts of the show happen in a parallel universe, technology has a different sensibility. You don’t really get the idea that cyborgs or at least many exist with artificial limbs or organs except brains and the interfaces for them. Even most cyborgs in the show contain a small amount of living brain tissue. How much and how many have free will is something you have to decide as you watch the show. Biomechanoid technology is used and somewhat explored in “LEXX.” It harkens back to ideas from famous authors like Dick, and Herbert. Explored by artists like H.R. Giger, David Lynch, and, Stan Winston among others. I think you finally realize over the course of the show what’s happening to humanity and it’s not very good in either universe. Saying too much spoils the show, and you do have to have more than the attention span of your average SciFi action junkie to appreciate its various nuances…
Nice summary.
yup I live in austin tx and the theaters allways smell like urine the floors are allways uber sticky, its hot and musty the whole time.And funny enough 75% of the time the movie will play with no sound until the last preview. I only drag my self to the ses pool for movies like ironman and stuff I just cant wait for.
thanks alot paul, now i have to go to the cinema with a disinfectant kit… hehehe i remember when i was working at the cinemas, some guy ate KFC and dropped the bones all over his seat, i collected all his rubbish (i had gloves etc) and literally ran at him telling how much of a dirty bastard he was hehehhe the guy was nearly in tears hehehhe
Ricky its a super campy show,,,, man o man,,, you have no appreciation for old school (1997) tv sci fi.
I remember watching “Hurt Locker”, and right as the film started this guy in the same row had a massive sneeze. I felt like yelling at him but what’s the point. It was too late,!!!
I’m just like you GK333 and Paul, I wash my hands and then use the paper towel to open the door to the bathroom and also the door to the theatre. There’s always a trash can right inside before you get seated.
And when I get home if I don’t take a shower right away I wash off the parts of my arms that were touching the arm rests.
I love dvds.
yeah, im finding the theater experience just worse as the years go by.
790
Im sorry i saw the first 10 min and i got bored
That’s more time than I would have given it! I remember trying to watch it years back, i thought it was a joke, its a truly terrible show. Stick to Harry Potter my friend!
Well that’s how it goes Ricky,,,
I felt the same way about Harry Potter.
Chris I can relate to your comments and they are dead on, I just don’t get why your ripping on the Author of the post?
Maybe I’m reading this wrong???
790
But u havent seen HP have you??? Did u buy it??? I think youre lying. How could u get bored in HP? Honestly?
Ricky let’s face it, Harry Potter is more or less for kids and LEXX is for adults.
You’ll get there one day,
And oh I’ve seen parts of Harry Potter, from trailers and also some guy that was watching it a work.
790
See theres where you are WRONG HP IS NOT FOR KIDS! I guarantee u that it is more fr adults than Lexx. *sigh* Im telling u now,HP is for ALL ages. The first 3 are more childish,but 4 and up it gets scary,thats why i LOVE this series so much,it gets darker and darker…..you cant Juat see parts,you have to see it all,starting from the beginning. You prob wont like the first 3,but trust me it gets better and better 790. Please give the new ones a try…..
Lol Ricky you only gave LEXX 10 minutes…
rick, i gotta go with 790 for this one. if LEXX were to be made into a series of movies, thay’d all be R rated, its just geared towards adults, adults that get the humor of and campyness of the show
before you go all caps on me rick, i do infact likke the HP movies, for me it just brings me back to being a kid
ANTHONY AND 790
I CANT WAIT TILL YOU BOTH SEE DEATHLY HALLOWS! lets see what u think of that. Anthony i dont think youve read the book Deathly Hallows,if you have then u would know its not for kids anymore…..
790
Oh yeah i gave it 10 minutes cuz i didnt understand one thing! I hate planet movies,sci fi is NOT my thing and i know youll say wizards and fantasy isnt your thing,but saying HP is for kids is wrong….
its really not geared for adults either, youre missing our point..ahh to be young again LOL. anyway end of discussion on my part
Ricky I think your a great addition to the site, so you should really just let it go man,,,
I’m not into Harry Potter, like your not into LEXX,,,
Enjoy Deathy Hollows and please don’t try and convince me its of its greatness.
SPELL IT RIGHT! LOL! getting me back for mispelling lexx to flexx LOL!
Ok im done convincing you,i see i wont win
Oh well….
i tried telling you that a couple of times ricky, youve never seen me trying to convince 790 to watch and love Serenity and Firefly
Lol I’ve seen Serenity, and it was good but didn’t blow me away,,, like others
I think in terms of Serenity and Stargate I just didn’t like the cast and therefore couldn’t get into the show,,,
I mean come on Anthony, you can’t compare Firefly to Lexx. Its like comparing The Sopranos to CSI Miami.
i wasnt man lol, i know u hate that show, was tryibg to show my point to ricky: trying to shove something down someones throat when they just really dislike it is not cool.
its hard to convince 790….to do anything!
ANTHONY
Yes i see what you mean…..oh well.
Thanks Old Man, you totally get the show.
I’m impressed,,,!!!
And I’m not being sarcastic on this!!!
Thanks 790!. I really believe LEXX is rich enough that you can look at it from quite a few different viewpoints and get something unique out of it. Patience is a definite requirement though to get anything more than a surface entertainment out of it. One of the things that I enjoyed was the way that Kai as a Zombie was portrayed. He was unique in the undead world. At least I thought so. The show was brave for its time too. Risking and executing a SCIFI musical episode,(Brigadoom)while probably didn’t appeal to the majority of fans it showed and proved that the genre could easily accommodate different aspects of other genres, no matter where they come from, even musicals. The sexual comedy and tension between the characters most of the time came off good too. While many of the tropes were very familiar they still seemed fresh in the hands of Donovan and Gigeroff…
Their are competing ideas about how we have used science to understand the microbiological worlds and the things that live there. Some accuse the wholesale destruction of the micro-environment to the rise of many of the allergy problems we have today, but the issue is far from resolved since some research has shown that exposure to high concentrations of bug fecal matter can cause allergic reactions and allergy development. These are just examples of how a high tech world has combined with the old world’s indifference to work disaster scenarios big and small. Modern transportation methods have as important a role to play as Joe average neglecting to wash their hands to the person that goes overboard and will only use antibacterial soap ensuring that one day its efficacy is doomed to future uselessness as the microbes evolve and adapt to the new circumstances and environments. We still have allot to learn and unfortunately the implementation of science into technology has happened at an ever greater pace than our ability to understand all the effects and counterbalance the negative consequences. Ultimately you can’t escape entropy. Like everything else the movie going experience is a limited phenomenon which will die out. We only get to decide the speed in which it occurs…
Someday~ I would like to own a drive-in. One which would have new ideas, strategies, concepts and a new approach to the drive-ins of old. I feel that drive-ins have been sorely missed and it’s about time for a reboot….I mean renewel, of this loved scenario.
Please don’t tell anyone, I want to keep this to myself.
MORE DRIVE-INNS WOULD ELIMINATE THE PROBLEMS MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE, plus many more. Also, who doesn’t like drive-ins? Since I have a home theatre, (I do love the dancing light of a theatre as opposed to ANY other form of movie viewing) I can watch with a movie-like experience minus the snot-filled, talking patron.
Myself; I miss the whole drive-in scene. I’ve been passionately attached to the drive-in experience since my first going at age 7.
Anyone, or anytwo, interested in partnering to create this vision?
~Seriously.
“who doesn’t like drive-ins?”
Real Estate moguls and business economics.
Where a typical Drive In might show two or four movies a day a cineplex can show a dozen five times a day. A lot of Drive-In’s built in the 50′s were owned and operated by small companies some family owned. As the principle operators aged they slowly retired and the Drive-Ins went with them. It was more profitable to sell the land, many times to developers than try to sell the business, which was often times fully capitalized off into expenses. In other words the owners never reinvested sufficiently to maintain standards attractive to the public. Facilities were allowed to deteriorate and obsolete equipment was never replaced. Disasters like fires and severe storm damage took their fair share too. Its not all bad news though some people like yourself have tried to push back the dying trend. Some neat theaters still exist to this day. Check out these web sites.
http://www.driveintheatre-ownersassociation.org/driveins.html
http://www.drive-ins.com/
http://www.driveintheater.com/
A couple years ago I took some short trips and looked in small towns for Drive-Ins. Often found they had recently gone dark for various reasons.
There are a couple of Drive-In theaters within a half an hour of me and they always seem to be doing well-unless it’s a very rainy season. Granted, both are in tourist towns, so that helps, but I do enjoy going to them once in a while. Definitely a big improvement was when they started broadcasting the sound over a FM station. Those boxes that hung on the window were awful.
Great links! Thanks for the effort.
Am i the only 18 year old on screen rant???
Dude I’m 17 (I post yesterday that I was 16 but I was wrong haha, damn I forgot about my own age,thats weird) so I guess I win as the younger member here, right?
It’s not like this in the UK, or not at least to any of the cinemas I go to, I’m sure there are many like this though. I worked in a cinema for nearly three years, cleaning them is damned hard and especially in the ridiculously short turn around times between films, which I can remember being less than fifteen minutes sometimes.
i still see people kick bags of soda, water, popcorn, all over the place when they exit too, wth people.
Personally, I would sit in a cinema that was covered in dog mess if it could guarantee no mobiles (even on silent, they’re a distraction, is that text THAT important?) and no-one talking through the movie.