When nearly everyone in the world handed their money over to Marvel to see 2012’s The Avengers, little did they know they were directly fueling a cosmic shift in Hollywood movie-making. Ever since then, every movie studio has been clamoring for their own “cinematic universes” with potential crossovers between franchises appearing at an alarming rate.
With 2016 alone seeing the long-awaited release of Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice, the beginning of a Deadpool franchise that might play in to the interconnected X-Men Universe, and a Marvel Civil War that’s bringing everyone together – including Spider-Man – crossovers are definitely here to stay. But for every understandable superhero crossover – an idea comic books have been tackling for decades – there are just as many obscure crossovers in the works. Universal is working on a shared monster movies universe, Warner Bros. is attempting to let King Kong and Godzilla duke it out, and Sony may have plans to let Schmidt and Jenko from 21 and 22 Jump Street team up with Kay and Jay from Men in Black. That’s right, look what you’ve all done by supporting The Avengers.
With all the crossovers our hearts desire in the works, and many our minds can’t begin to fathom as well, we decided to take a look at the 10 Most Ridiculous Crossovers We’d Love to See. We thought long and hard about which of our favorite movie heroes need to meet our other favorite movie heroes, all with only one rule in mind; nothing is off limits. So take a look at the list and comment below with your own ideas of ridiculous crossovers you’d love to see. Just keep in mind that we live in an age where, apparently, no crossover is too ridiculous.
Bond meets Die Hard
In 2012, Skyfall was released, bringing with it a huge box-office gross and one of the best reviewed Bond movies of all time. Four months later A Good Day To Die Hard came to theaters, bringing with it… nothing special. But, in the spirit of cinema’s two most resilient heroes – we’re talking two men who have taken more shots than a frat guy the day after finals – it’s time for John McClane to rise from the ashes once more and join James Bond in a box-office destroying romp through the rooftops of some exotic, foreign city or another.
In what would presumably be called Die Hard Another Day, McClane and Bond will hopefully spend a good half of the movie debating the merits of being a gentleman spy vs. being a gruff policeman whose family keeps getting kidnapped. When Q inevitably brings out the ricin-releasing tie clip and the x-ray contact lenses, McClane will have a show-stopping monologue about how he hates technology, and “whatever happened to the good old days when fax machines were my biggest problem?”
As the two use their varying methods to take down terrorists and stop to occasionally wallow in self-pity, we can only hope to the movie gods that Justin Long shows up driving Bond’s invisible car in what’s sure to be a fan-pleasing moment for the ages.
Ernest meets The Hangover
Here me out here. Yes, Jim Varney is tragically no longer with us, but the best way to honor his legacy and the amazing Ernest series is to bring it to new audiences and slap it onto something that kids these days understand; The Hangover.
In Ernest Gets Hungover, Ernest and his trademark denim wardrobe will find themselves waking up after a night of debauchery and surrounded by Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms. As they try to piece together what happened the night before, they find not a tiger, but rather the troll who eats children from Ernest Scared Stupid stuck with them in their Vegas hotel room.
An Ernest meets The Hangover crossover would not only satisfy fans of both series, but it would also give audiences countless scenes of Ernest and Alan interacting with one another; presumably to find out who is in fact the stupidest – albeit most well-meaning – movie character of all time.
Harry Potter meets The Avengers
While a Harry Potter and Avengers crossover may sound out of the realm of possibility at first, keep in mind that the Marvel universe is expanding and with that expansion comes more magic. Thor and Doctor Strange both include advanced science that we perceive as magic, and surely the world of witchcraft and wizardry could be explained the same way.
Harry Potter and The Avengers of Muggles could hypothetically see Harry, Ron, and Hermione in their post-Hogwarts lives as a new threat comes to the world. Considering they’ve already defeated Voldemort after eight movies, this would be a new threat; and preferably not a Marvel-level threat involving hordes of identical gray space villains. With both teams out of their element, the Potter crew and The Avengers would get together and audiences would be treated to a glorious mashup of advanced tech combat and ancient magical defenses. Also, it would be a welcome change to have some superheroes with British accents for once.
To cap off this blockbuster to end all blockbusters, the post credits scene could see The Avengers and Harry Potter and co. silently sipping some delicious Butterbeer amidst the rubble of a delightfully charming Hogsmeade.
Planet of the Apes meets Pitch Perfect
Planet of the Apes and Pitch Perfect are two of the most refreshing movie franchises in recent memory. Scoring huge box-office gains, near-universal acclaim, and protagonists you just never see in studio tentpoles, it’s high time we see Raise the Pitch of the Planet of the Apes.
The most exciting part of the new Planet of the Apes series has been watching Caesar evolve from James Franco’s pet to a walking, talking ape messiah. The next logical step would be for Caesar to discover the joys of a cappella, teach it to his disciples, and challenge the Barden Bellas to an all-out war.
Though the crossover may seem grating at first, just consider the joys in seeing two marginalized groups battling it out with song, rather than violence. With a cameo appearance from The Monkees and the beautiful effects work from Weta Digital carrying Andy Serkis’ singing voice to all new heights, look for this film to be the hit of summer.
Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man meets Andrew Garfield’s Amazing Spider-Man meets Tom Holland’s Spider-Man Reboot
Imagine for a second that your favorite version of Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire) swung into your favorite version of Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) and a few minutes later they both met your cautiously-optimistic-that-he’ll-be-good Spider-Man and Peter Parker (Tom Holland). If you’re imagining something amazing, you’re imagining it correctly.
After the original Spider-Man franchise was cut short before Sam Raimi and Maguire had a chance to put together Spider-Man 4, Andrew Garfield and Marc Webb stepped in with a duo of charming-but-incoherent movies that disappointed fans. Now, with another Spider-Man on the way, it’s time to join these universes together and pretend it was all connected from the beginning. The movie should be called Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Third Time’s the Charm with Spider-Man.
In this dream scenario, we’d learn that sometime after turning into dancing emo Spider-Man, Maguire’s Peter Parker was kidnapped by a way-too-cool-to-be-a-nerd Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker. In Garfield’s monologue, he explains that Maguire was too much of a boy scout and didn’t spend enough time breaking promises that he made to his girlfriend’s dying father. So Garfield takes up the mantle of Spider-Man, causes the city of New York two films worth of incoherent grief, realizes the job is harder than it looks, and releases Maguire. The two, now facing a new threat from a hopefully non-That 70’s Show-version of Venom, recruit a new, young Spider-Man in Tom Holland and the three of them kick ass and make amends for previous mistakes, bringing fans of all generations together.
Maze Runner meets Forrest Gump
Maze Runner was a pleasantly thrilling surprise upon its release during the ongoing glut of YA adaptations. It featured tightly-directed set-pieces, a pared-down story that moved well, and it stayed away from the Ominous Government Institution trope… until the very end. Now that Scorch Trials is in theaters and delving into typical YA territory, there’s one way that the ship can be righted; throwing Forrest Gump into the maze and watching him run.
A Forrest Gump sequel was actually written and turned in to the studio by screenwriter Eric Roth, but not enough people thought continuing the story of everyone’s favorite ping pong player was important. But now is the time to reconsider with Maze Run Forrest, Run.
The crossover would bring together generations and explain – in a typically Gump fashion – how Forrest was inadvertently responsible for the collapse of civilization and his eventual idea for saving it; running.
Before Series meets World War Z
The Before series is a beautifully meditative trilogy of art and humanity, while World War Z is a thrillingly chaotic use of CGI and mass-zombie crowds. BUT! If Ethan Hawke’s Jesse and Julie Delpy’s Celine get off the train in Jerusalem this time, they could meet up with Brad Pitt and wax philosophical about why the zombie apocalypse is happening, not how to stop it.
Before War would give fans of both series everything they could ever want: the slow, thoughtful moments of World War Z – the moments we wish there were more of – could be expanded, while fun little blasts of zombie carnage can be injected here and there into the hour-long walk-and-talks of the Before Series. The film’s climax would inevitably look like this:
Jesse: “Don’t you ever stop to think that, maybe, I don’t know— Could it be that the zombies aren’t just mindless flesh-sacks but actually some type of post-living comment on capitalism and consumerism?”
Celine: “I do think that’s possible. You know, it’s always ‘buy this, eat that.’ It’s almost like we’re not living in the world unless our wallets are being emptied by these heartless multinationals!”
*A zombie runs past them, through a McDonald’s storefront.*
Celine: “And there you go. Proves our point.”
Superman meets Rocky
Rocky is a classic film not just because of its subject matter, but because of its grounded title character and the film’s handling of the human elements that surround the rest. Sylvester Stallone’s writing and portrayal of Rocky Balboa is legendary and helped paint the boxer as a compassionate hero; the antithesis of the city-leveling psychopath Superman in Man of Steel. It’s time to show Superman some humanity by pitting him against Rocky in, appropriately enough, Superman Vs. Rocky.
Superman fans would undoubtedly go into this film thinking there’s no contest; Superman is near-immortal, and Rocky hasn’t even won all that many fights against his opponents. But they’d be wrong, because in Superman Vs. Rocky, the two heroes aren’t fighting at all, but rather they’re talking about their lives and trading secrets on their various training regimens; most of all, which music to set the montage to when punching things.
Back to the Future meets Toy Story
I’d like to believe there is a world where my favorite toys are alive and at least one of them is voiced by Tom Hanks. If this crossover is any indication, that world is in a parallel dimension and Marty and Doc from Back to the Future are damn well going to find it and enjoy it… Until the inevitable fiery end of all things we’ve ever loved from Toy Story as they hold hands and go into a childhood-decimating incinerator. But until that moment, fun!
In Back to the Story all of our childhood protagonists end up coming together after the DeLorean malfunctions and sends Marty and Doc to a colorful Pixar universe. Upon finding out that toys can talk, Doc intends to bring the toys back to his lab in order to experiment on them. However, armed with only compassion and a pair of Nikes, Marty discovers that the toys are actually going through some stuff – a whole lot of stuff, including abandonment issues, obsession, survivor’s remorse, and the crippling fear of living for eternity – and he helps them escape and go back to Bonnie’s house, all while trying to teach Doc the real meaning of friendship; and how not to lose his grip on reality after all the space/time hopping they’ve done.
Pacific Rim meets Horrible Bosses
Though the planned Pacific Rim sequel may not be going forward any time soon, and Horrible Bosses 2 didn’t make any impression at the box office, the best way to get these films back on track is inevitably to shove them into the same burlap sack, shake it up, and see what type of movie-baby comes out.
Pacific Bosses should focus heavily on Charlie Day’s character and explain the shift that led him to go from a boss-killing dental hygienist in Horrible Bosses to a mad scientist Kaiju dissector in Pacific Rim. Presumably, he already had the science background in Horrible Bosses necessary to succeed, it just took one too many sexual assaults from Jennifer Aniston and a near-apocalypse to get him to find his true calling.
A big part of this crossover – and what the marketing campaign should focus heavily on – would be Jason Bateman as a Jaeger captain using his full arsenal of charming winks and dry sarcasm to defeat the biggest Kaijus the world has ever seen. Seriously, how could you not pay to see this movie?
Are there any crossovers so ridiculous that we couldn’t think of them? Sound off in the comments with your dream crossovers, including potential titles and synopses, for your chance to win Hollywood being so desperate that they actually turn it into a movie!