So I heard about not one but two bad remake ideas today, one from a classic film and one from an old TV show.

First off, Warner Bros. is going to attempt a remake of the classic film The Dirty Dozen. Are you guys insane? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you feel you must do a remake because you’re creatively bankrupt, do a remake of an obscure movie that wasn’t very good, but find some interesting way to update it. Do NOT attempt to remake a film that was:

A. A bonafide classic.
B. Incredibly awesome.

I can just see them populating this version with a bunch of pretty boys and cliche’d characters.

As they point out on AICN, who today are the “men’s, men” that can possibly compete with Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Telly Savalas, etc.? I dare anyone to come up with a dozen.


Another brilliant idea is a movie version of the old Gabe Kaplan TV sitcom Welcome Back, Kotter. If you’re not familiar with the show, Kaplan returned to Brooklyn (or was it the Bronx?) as a teacher to give back to his old school and try to bring around a class of high school tough guys. Among the cast was a very young John Travolta, and a cast of characters that were diverse and funny as hell.

Oh, did I mention that Ice Cube (don’t get me started on that “name”) will be in the title role?

I can just imagine how this thing will turn out.