More lousy holiday releases ahead

Published 10 years ago by , Updated February 9th, 2012 at 8:23 pm,

Most of the time, I don’t expect holiday releases to be instant classics. Most of them tend to be forgettable at best. But this year is shaping up to be abysmal. Just look at some of the mediocrity that is forthcoming:

The Ringer (Nov. 5): Starring Johnny Knoxville, this heartwarming tale is about a guy who is so desperate for cash that he tries to fix the Special Olympics by pretending to be mentally challenged. I can’t think of a single group out there that won’t be offended by this little gem. It sounds painfully unfunny on paper, and I seriously doubt it will be any funnier on screen.


Surviving Christmas (Nov. 10): Starring Ben Affleck, this comedy is about a guy who doesn’t want to spend Christmas alone. He ends up bribing the family who moved into his childhood home so he can spend Christmas with them. What is happening to Affleck’s career? The trailer for this movie is about as unfunny as it gets. Affleck’s character comes across as annoying more than anything else. In one of the preview scenes, James Gandolfini smacks Affleck in the back of the head with a snow shovel. If only…

National Treasure (Nov. 19): Starring Nicolas Cage, this action flick is about an archaeologist who finds out about a treasure map written on the back of the Declaration of Independence. He decides to steal it to keep it safe from a group of treasure hunters. I’m just as patriotic as the next person, but this is one of the dumbest ideas for a story I’ve ever heard. Between the box office failure that was King Arthur and this, I think the dents in Jerry Bruckheimer’s armor are starting to show, but who knows? The mindless movie-going public may end up proving me wrong.

Christmas with the Kranks (Nov. 24): Starring Tim Allen, this comedy is about parents whose plans to go on a tropical vacation for Christmas are interrupted when their daughter makes a last-minute decision to come home for Christmas. The trailer is full of people falling and crashing into things. Ha ha… funny. With every mediocre movie, Tim Allen seems to be trying to prove to the world that his Home Improvement success was a fluke.

These lousy releases will be offset somewhat by good movies such as Pixar’s The Incredibles (Nov. 5), but those will be the exceptions that only confirm the general rule. Viewer beware…

Source: Cinema Clock

Brian

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6 Comments - Comments are closed.

  1. Hadn’t heard about The Ringer, but yeah, that sounds typically horrid. The Ben Affleck tralier left me stone cold… the man is not meant for slapstick comedy. I have to admit that despite the “cool” sequences, National Treasure does look pretty silly.

    I’ll openly admit that I laughed at the trailer for the Tim Allen movie… of course with comedies usually if you’ve seen the trailer, there’s no need to see the movie.

    I absolutely cannot wait for The Incredibles. I’m still waiting for Pixar to put out a bad movie. Boy, those guys know what matters in a good movie and how to do it RIGHT.

    Vic

  2. I agree with ‘The Incredibles.’ Looks hilarious.

    Also(and I may be alone in saying this), but ‘Team America: World Police’ looks outstanding. While I’m not a South Park fan, I loved ‘BASEketball,’ ‘Orgazmo,’ and ‘Cannible: The Musical.’

    But thats probablly just me.

  3. I agree; Team America looks like it has the potential to be hilarious. Other than the South Park movie (which I thought was just okay), I haven’t seen anything by Trey Parker and/or Matt Stone.

    Brian

  4. I agree that most of the movies you mentioned coming out this holiday season look potentially lousy(except the incredibles). But I think it’s very uninformed to think that just because these movies look like they won’t be that great that there this holiday season of movies looks abysmal! There are terrible movies coming out at all times of the year, including the holiday season, but you have definetly failed to mention some of the great possible gems coming out this holiday season. What about Alexander, Polar Express, Bridget Jones: The Edge of reason, The Aviator, Phantom of the Opera, Ocean’s Twelve, and Lemony Snicket? And these are just some of the movies that look good coming out in November and December. The point is, there are good and bad movies coming out at all times of the year.

  5. Of course there are good and bad movies coming out year round. But certain times of the year have higher concentrations of movie releases, and it’s funny how sometimes the films that get the biggest advertising push are the ones that turn out to be the worst. (AvP, anyone?).

    Having said that, thanks for the heads up on some possible *good* films coming out soon. Lemony Snicket looks like it could be very good, but you never know. I’m looking forward to taking my daughter to Polar Express, but that CGI Tom Hanks still looks creepy to me. Kind of like his likeness in the wax museum come to life…

    Vic

  6. The Ringer is produced by the Farrelly brothers. Not sure if it written or directed by them as well. If the brothers DO have any writting credit on this movie … Offensive as hell? Check. Just as funny? If past experience is any guide, for sure!!

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