We told a few weeks ago that Robert Rodriguez was eyeing a pretty wild collection of big-name actors for his upcoming feature-length adaptation of Machete, the faux-trailer that played before Grindhouse.

Some of the names we mentioned included Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez and even Lindsay Lohan.

Well, I can tell you now that every single one of those names mentioned above have been confirmed for Machete, alongside some equally mind-blowing names you’ll have to read to believe!
Jessica Alba, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Jeff Fahey – ever heard of them?

Ok, so maybe not Fahey: he plays “Frank” that mysterious (and cool-as-a-cucumber) pilot who flew back and forth and back again to the island during seasons 4 and 5 of Lost.

The rest of the cast I assume you recognize.

Actor Danny Trejo will reprise his titular role as a decent man who becomes “A Brutal Savage Who Must Slaughter To Stay Alive.” All I know is that the trailers and promo posters better retain the now-famous line from the faux Machete trailer, “They just f*#$ed with the wrong Mexican!” Priceless.

Dude… Machete… Who would’ve guessed?

You can bet that, even as we speak, all the people who previously wrote this movie off as one last dropping from the crap-show that was (for them) Grindhouse are all of sudden sitting up in their chairs and taking wide-eyed notice of this film. Never underestimate El Rodriguez, man. The guy has a lot of friends and a lot of Hollywood pull, obviously…

Machete is aiming for a 2010 release date. It will be co-directed by Robert Rodriguez and his protegé, Ethan Maniquis.

Source: Variety via Coming Soon