What was I thinking? How could I be so silly?
Let me explain what I’m talking about. See, after I finished watching The Bourne Supremacy, I was dumb enough to make a remark about how this summer had turned out to be quite decent for movies. I should have known I would jinx it as soon as I said such a thing. Less than two weeks later, Alien vs. Predator is at the top of the box office. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the kid flick Yu-Gi-Oh! (which is currently scoring a whopping two percent on the Tomatometer) managed to rake in an estimated $9.4 million this weekend. From my vantage point, it looks like the downhill slide has begun.
The only problem is, it’s not over yet. Scheduled for release on August 27, it is the sequel that never should have been made. Quick show of hands: How many people wanted to see a sequel to Baby Geniuses? Go on, raise ‘em high. Yep, that’s what I thought. Another quick show of hands: How many people had any desire whatsoever to see Baby Geniuses? Anyone? Anyone? That’s what I thought. And yet, some studio suits have actually given this cinematic atrocity the green light. Be afraid, be very afraid, that you may end up having to see Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies through no fault of your own.
The sad part about all this is that the film’s director, Bob Clark, is mostly known for directing crapfests. One of the only exceptions happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time, A Christmas Story. How can someone like Clark go from that to the Baby Geniuses franchise? Did he need a paycheck that badly? Even more unfortunate is the film’s cast — a virtual “who’s who” of washed-up actors including Vanessa Angel, Scott Baio and Jon Voight. Keep in mind, Voight is an Oscar winner. I really don’t know what the motivation was for him to take this role. I probably don’t want to know.
So will movies this year get any better? Perhaps a few good ones may come out, but with movies like Christmas with the Kranks, starring Tim Allen (now that we’re on the subject of downward spiraling careers…), due for release during the holidays, it looks like signs are pointing to “no.”
The trailer for Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies is here, for those who enjoy punishment.